The Marauders extremely original title isnt it?
by padfootluva
Summary: A basic Marauders story, with masive ammounts of MWPP. Amusing, from what i've been told, just check it out so I wont cry *grin* (Chapter Seven is up, by the way!)
1. Furry Friend, Pink Foe

Disclaimer: Why do I even bother? I don't own Sirius, James, Remus, Dumbledore ext. (unless of course Jk Rowling wants to give me Sirius for my birthday () But…I'm almost positive I own Morgan Donnelly, Adam, Renee, and all the people that I own. But I do not own Jessica Flora, cuz Jessica Flora owns Jessica Flora…right I'm done; here's the story.  
  
  
  
Chapter One: A Furry Friend and a Pink Foe  
  
"SIRIUS!"  
  
"Oy! James one more time, last one I swear," Sirius cried happily, grinning, full of mischief.  
  
"Sirius! We have to figure out why Remus has been missing at Hogwarts, its bothering the hell out of me!"  
  
"So he gets to miss two days of school a month, Big deal," Sirius said, "Now, seeing Snape humiliate himself, that's what I care about!"  
  
"He's been missing forever! Don't you care if he's sick or something?"  
  
"Of course I do… Remus is my best friend too, its just, well…cant we figure this out after we put super glue on the Slytherin toilets.  
  
"SIRIUS!"  
  
"James is right Sirius, we should really figure out why Remus has been gone," Peter said, and with a squeak hid behind the couch just in case Sirius would get mad at him.  
  
"Shut up Peter, for all we know, Remus is gone chasing werewolves in Peru…"  
  
"Sirius that's it!"  
  
"What? James you oaf, I was kidding, Remus is not a werewolf slayer, nor does he live in Peru, I see Remus more of a tropical guy myself"  
  
"Not a werewolf slayer, a werewolf in general…" James said, ignoring Sirius' little bit on the tropics.  
  
"What? James are you off you're rocker?! Remus? The werewolf? You have got to be kidding! Remus is anything but a monster! If anyone here is a werewolf it's Peter…his arms are really hairy!"  
  
James rolled his eyes. " Look at the evidence! It all makes sense, besides, it was your idea," James said happily, "Come with me…I think I have proof!" James said as running out of the common room,  
  
"Where are we going?" Sirius cried after James.  
  
"You'll see!" James yelled over his shoulder.  
  
"C'mon Peter," Sirius shrugged and they both ran after James.  
  
James, Sirius and Peter ran across the castle, completely out of breath, Sirius was about to state that Peter looked a little blue and they should stop for a rest, when they bumped into the potion's teacher, Professor Gevine.  
  
"Going somewhere boys?" Professor Gevine said, in a twisted smile. It was a fact that Gevine was cruel to all his students, but to Sirius, James and Peter, he was frankly evil.  
  
"Are you?" Sirius demanded. James poked Sirius in the rib.  
  
"We're going to the library Professor…"  
  
"The library is on the other side of the castle, it is after dark, you should be in your common rooms, Detention," Gevine said.  
  
"What! But…we didn't do anything wrong…yet. We didn't even blow anything up!" Sirius cried.  
  
"Are you suggesting I wait till tomorrow and give you double detention?" Gevine asked.  
  
"Yes! No! I mean… no sir," Sirius said.  
  
"Well I have other rodents to give detention to as well. Good Bye boys,"  
  
"Slimy git. If Remus were here, Gevine wouldn't have done anything. He'd be able to sneak up some excuse, now we got detention." Sirius said.  
  
"So you miss Remus too!" James said.  
  
"Of course I miss him," Sirius stated. "But…the whole werewolf thing, you've got to admit, pretty strange."  
  
"Where are we going?" Peter asked, holding a stitch in his side, still panting.  
  
"The astronomy tower, they have the moon charts from 1732…" James replied.  
  
"You still think Remus is a werewolf? Come off it!" Sirius growled.  
  
"It's remarkable how much you sound like a dog," James said.  
  
"It's remarkable how much you sound like a idiot."  
  
"If you don't believe me, let me show you…"  
  
"How? Are we going to go up to Remus and ask… 'Hi Remus, sorry to bother you, but are you a werewolf' sorry James, but it sounds kind of blunt."  
  
"Just come to the tower with me…"  
  
"Why?" Peter chirped. "Is that were Remus is?"  
  
James groaned, and started to the astronomy tower.  
  
When the three reached the astronomy tower, James started to rip out parchments, with writing and strange pictures of all the phases of the moon, and strange dates.  
  
"Help me would you?" James cried, pulling out a chart with a moon that looked like it was melting, a waxing moon.  
  
"I don't even know what we're looking for," Sirius snarled.  
  
"The moon chart for this year," James said.  
  
Sirius bent down and got a parchment sprawled carelessly on the floor.  
  
"Oh, well this is it, isn't it?" Sirius yawned casually, handing James it to James.  
  
"Thanks Sirius, um… he first was gone here… the day of a full moon," James said, with a look of triumph.  
  
"Luck," Sirius yawed.  
  
"And he was back when it wasn't a full moon, the next time he was gone… it was a full moon too…"  
  
"So? That doesn't prove anything," Sirius said sharply.  
  
But it went on, every time Remus was gone it was a full moon.  
  
"See! I told you!" James said happily.  
  
"Did you ever know how much the moon looked like cheese? I mean not that Italian cheese, but that good old Swiss cheese?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Sirius…our friend is a werewolf! And all you can think about is cheese?" James asked angrily.  
  
"I'm hungry…" Sirius explained.  
  
"Please…Sirius! Be serious!"  
  
"Erm…okay." Sirius said.  
  
"Focus on Remus for now…not cheese."  
  
"I'm kind of hungry too." Peter put in. "And I like cheese too…"  
  
"Please," James begged. "Remus…"  
  
Peter looked up at James, tears in his eyes.  
  
"I still can't believe it, Remus is…a werewolf," Peter said, almost as if he was disgusted.  
  
"Its not so bad…" Sirius said, "He just gets a little hairy, he's normal 28 days of the month."  
  
"It has got to bother Remus though. Imagine it. Being something else…having to strain you're self to remember who you really are. No wonder he's always tired."  
  
"What…what if he bites us?" Peter asked. "You know, one day when we're asleep…he could just creep up and…SNAP!"  
  
James looked at Peter crossly.  
  
"Do you really think Remus would do that too us?" James asked.  
  
"He's not even that vicious with his food…" Sirius pointed out.  
  
"But…But…." Peter started, his gray eyes filled with fear.  
  
"You really have to have more faith in Remus,"  
  
"Besides, just because he's a bit different once every month doesn't make him want to kill his only friends. He's more loyal than that."  
  
"But…he's a werewolf! They kill people…"  
  
"Peter!" James yelled at him, his gray blue eyes getting fierce. "You don't get it, Remus is still Remus, always! Remus is that kindest person I have ever known… he would never…ever put you or me in danger!"  
  
"Me…on the other hand…is a different story." Sirius said, with an evil grin.  
  
"Are you…sure?" Peter asked.  
  
"One Hundred percent…even more. We just have to assure Remus we feel this way."  
  
"Well, he must be coming back tomorrow, tonight's not a full moon, yesterday was," Sirius said, brushing his black hair out of his blue eyes.  
  
"Right… so… when he comes…we'll tell him we know he's a werewolf right?" Peter asked, pleased to know what Sirius and James were going to do.  
  
"Not really. He might be a little afraid and embarrassed of what he is… I mean why else would he not of told us before? What we're going to do is ask where he was all the times he was gone, if he tells us he's a werewolf we'll tell him it doesn't bother us, if he lies, we'll…"  
  
"Tie him up on a chair, feeding him turnips until he tells us!" Sirius cried.  
  
"No, tell him we know about him," James said, shaking his head.  
  
"Oh, that isn't as fun. "  
  
"All we can do is wait until Remus gets back, " James said.  
  
"What of we're wrong about this whole werewolf thing?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Um… well…" James started. "We won't be wrong,"  
  
"Yeah, we 're never wrong," Sirius said sarcastically. "Do you have any cheese?"  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning, James woke up first as always. He pulled open the curtain that separated Sirius's bed from his. Sirius was still sleeping, snoring to be more like it, but nothing to what Peter was doing. He was talking, practically telling James what he was dreaming about. James thought Sirius would be easier to wake up then Peter, but he really should of known better.  
  
"Sirius wake up!" James whispered, shaking Sirius slowly and carefully to wake him up. All he got in return was a loud snore.  
  
"Sirius!" James yelled, but he would not wake up.  
  
"SIRIUS!" James bellowed on top of his lungs, but that to did nothing.  
  
"God, Sirius! Wake the hell up!" James said, but Sirius wouldn't wake up.  
  
"Cheeeeese." Sirius sighed, turning to his side, smiling.  
  
"He's incapable of being woke up," said Adam, the boy James shared a dorm with.  
  
"I realized that, thanks," James said sarcastically.  
  
"What're you doing up so early anyway?" Adam asked. "You're not going to blow something up again are you?" Adam added suspiciously.  
  
"No, not today, or right now anyway," James said.  
  
"Well, if you don't mind, I'm going back to sleep," Adam said. "The only way Sirius will ever wake up is if there were girls in here dancing the hula." Adam said, and went back to sleep.  
  
"Girls huh?," James said. "Sirius, Sirius, hot girls are swarming our dormitory, demanding you!" James said.  
  
"Oh! Okay then! I'm awake!" Sirius said happily jumping out of bed. "Hey, where are they?"  
  
"They left," said James hotly, "I told them you don't like being woke up early,"  
  
"Ah, James what did you do that for?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Never mind, help me wake up Peter," James said.  
  
"Sure! All we have to do is put a firework in his ear and…"  
  
"Never mind, I'll wake him up myself,"  
  
" Ah, James, you're no fun,"  
  
" When it comes to you Sirius, I cant be fun. Peter…wake up…" James whispered softly in Peters ear.  
  
"Five more minutes mummy,"  
  
"Oy! Pea brain! Wake up!" Sirius barked.  
  
"I'm up… I'm up… Is Remus back yet?" Peter asked rubbing his eyes with his fists.  
  
"We don't know…where would he be?" James asked.  
  
"Well if I was a man eating beast, not able to eat man…I'd probably be in the Great hall…eating" Sirius pointed out. "Come to think of it… even if I wasn't a man eating beast, not able to eat man I'd still be eating."  
  
"Sirius, you're weird, come on lets go," James said and they left there dorm. On the way out of the common room, they bumped into Lily Evans, literally.  
  
"Watch it Lil!" Sirius yelled good naturally, helping her pick up the books she dropped.  
  
"Oh sorry Sirius, I wasn't paying attention,"  
  
"Obviously," James said, wiping ink of him that Lily spilled on him.  
  
"Sorry James, I'm a wreck, I forgot all about our test and…"  
  
"What test?" Sirius asked curiously.  
  
"The one today with Flitwick…"  
  
"Today's Saturday," James answered.  
  
"Oh! It is isn't it?" Lily asked, laughing. "Well if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep then…good night."  
  
"Right, that girls got problums… Great Hall…James you coming?" Sirius asked, trying to shake James out of a trance.  
  
"What? Oh yeah…I'm coming," James said.  
  
They walked in the Great Hall, and sure enough, Remus was at the end of the Gryffindor table. He looked miserable. His eyes were bagged and it looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks. When Remus saw the three, he smiled and waved. But in the back of his eyes, they saw fear; and a look saying unmistakably " Don't ask where I was."  
  
"Where were you?" Sirius asked sitting next to Remus.  
  
"I was at a funeral," Remus said, his voice shaking.  
  
"Who died?" James asked quietly.  
  
"My Aunt Linda," Remus said.  
  
"She died last month, and the month before that…hold on come to think about it the month before that," Sirius told him.  
  
"Did she? Oh well… it's a family name, Linda,"  
  
"What did she die of?" James asked.  
  
"The um…five letter name curse," Remus said, shifting in his seat.  
  
"Then are you going to die?"  
  
"Why would I?" Remus asked.  
  
"Your name has five letters," James said happily.  
  
"Oh no! So does Peter! I'm going to die! P-E-T-E-R…oh my Mommy I'm going to die!" Peter cried, and started to bawl, bringing quite some attention to the marauders.  
  
"Oh, bloody hell, Peter he was lying, Sirius tell him," James said, but Sirius was to busy, counting letters of Slytherin names.  
  
"S-N-A-P-E, five! Snape's gonna die! Cha-ching!" Sirius cried happily.  
  
"Snape's his last name, Severus is his name," James pointed out.  
  
"Damn! You sure it's not the six letter curse?"  
  
"Severus has seven letters,"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Remus, We don't buy this whole "Linda" deal. Tell us really, where were you?" James asked in a voice that was soft, but very powerful.  
  
"I can't tell,"  
  
"C'mon mate!" Sirius said, patting him on the back.  
  
"I was… well…"  
  
"We know Remus," Peter said quietly.  
  
"Know what?" Remus asked quickly.  
  
"Where you were, why you're gone,"  
  
"Yeah, it's not so bad! You can bite anyone and make it look like an accident, I couldn't do that ever since I was five," Sirius said, sighing at his recollection.  
  
"What? You mean you know about me…and your not gonna run and tell everyone?"  
  
"Why'd we do that? You're our friend, our best friend," Sirius said, paused and shook his head. "That was too sappy."  
  
"But nonetheless, you are our friend, Remus…"  
  
"You can still be my friend? But I'm really dangerous," Remus said quietly.  
  
"Well, so it Sirius when you give him a lot sugar, but we're still his friend,"  
  
Remus laughed, and his circles disappeared, well got lighter anyway. "Really, you truly mean it?"  
  
The three nodded.  
  
"You guys are true friends…you really are…" Remus choked out. Face streamed with tears of joy.  
  
"Of course we are," Sirius said happily, squeezing Remus' shoulder tightly. "And we always will be."  
  
"That's a promise," James answered.  
  
Remus nodded. "I just cant believe it…you guys are my friends."  
  
There was an awkward silence for a while, but Sirius broke it quickly.  
  
"Let's celebrate then, " Sirius said happily.  
  
"What of?" Peter asked.  
  
"Still being Remus' friend of course!"  
  
"Of course," Said Remus.  
  
"What are we gonna do?" Peter asked sighing.  
  
"Nothing involving explosives right, because cleaning that rat guts off Professor Gevine's desk wasn't very fun." Remus told Sirius.  
  
"No, I'm out of dung bombs…But, I stole some food coloring…"  
  
"What are we gonna do with that?" James asked.  
  
"Well Snape sleeps late, and all his freak friends are already eating," Sirius said, pointing to the Slytherin table. "So were going to give Snapey a new hair do," Sirius cried.  
  
"Sounds risky… " Remus said, frowning slightly. "But, hey… live a little right?" Remus cried, and they left to prepare.  
  
~*~  
  
"Got the cloak James?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yeah, Sirius do you have the dye?" James asked.  
  
A head popped from under a bed,  
  
"Yup, it's here," Sirius said, grinning ear to ear.  
  
"Great, we're ready…do you remember the password?"  
  
"From last year…" Remus answered.  
  
"Well that's great," James said.  
  
"Just go in when a Slytherin's going in or out,"  
  
"Sirius! You're a genius!" James cried  
  
"Of course I am," Sirius said.  
  
The four scampered out of the Gryffindor tower and tiptoeing quietly… into the entrance of the Slytherin common room.  
  
"God, it's cold," Sirius said, chattering his teeth.  
  
"Shut up, here's a Slytherin," James said.  
  
"It's Lucius Malfoy," Peter whined.  
  
"Death, ("Well, that's original.")" Said a cold drawling voice.  
  
He opened the entrance and he climbed in, the marauders at his tail.  
  
When Lucius Malfoy, strolled into his dormitory. The four quickly went into Snape's dormitory, (they all ready knew where it was exactly, after all the little trips there to give Snape the acne potion and such) and sure enough it was only Snape, snoring louder than Sirius and Peter combined.  
  
"Rita, Rita my sweet come back!" Snape mumbled.  
  
"But Snape you're a slimy little bas-" Sirius started in a high pitch voice.  
  
"Sirius shut up would you," James hissed.  
  
"Fine. Down to business, the pink hair dye-"  
  
"Pink? Sirius you didn't," James said, grinning so madly.  
  
Sirius grinned like a mad man while putting the pink food coloring in his hair,  
  
"God, his hair is greasy, you could cook French fries on him" Sirius said, pouring the last bit of dye in his hair. "I have green too, Remus, you want the honor?"  
  
"Sure," Remus said, looking at the dye that Sirius handed him, "Um… Sirius this distinctly says do not put in hair," Remus said.  
  
"I know, isn't it wonderful!" Sirius said happily.  
  
"Hurry up Remus, Snape's gonna wake up soon," James said.  
  
"Right I'm done," Remus said, standing back to see the pink and green headed freak.  
  
"It's a piece of art all right," James sighed.  
  
"More like piece of crap…"  
  
"That gives the wrong mental image, Sirius." Remus told him.  
  
"C'mon, let's go," Peter whined.  
  
"Yeah, all right," Remus said. And the marauders left the Slytherin common room.  
  
"Who did this?" Snape screamed as he woke up Saturday afternoon.  
  
"Oh my god! Severus what happened?" Rita, a second year asked as Snape walked in the common room.  
  
"I woke up and my hair was pink and green! It was Potter and the others, I know it!" Snape said.  
  
"Well, that's kind of disgusting. You can magic it out cant you?"  
  
"I've tried!" Snape cried, flinging his hands in the air. "Nothing happened, I can't seem to put my mind on a anti-charm, I'm so bloody hungry."  
  
"…you have to go out sometime." Rita said. "I'm going out to eat breakfast, want to come?"  
  
Snape hesitated, but when his stomach started to growl, he swallowed his pride, and left with Rita to eat.  
  
When Rita and Snape entered the Great Hall, everyone turned to see Snape, sniggers and laughing were heard around the room. Even Professor McGonagol found it amusing enough, to twitch her lips into a slight smile.  
  
"Lovely Hair Snape!" Sirius cried, "Really brings out the slime."  
  
"Wow, It really does Sirius…" Remus observed happily.  
  
"You-you did this!" Snape screamed pointing at the four.  
  
"Us? Never," James said sarcastically.  
  
"You always assume it's us, it hurts," Sirius said, wiping a pretend tear of his cheek.  
  
"Yup, pick on someone with your own…uh…" Peter started.  
  
"Slime," James put in.  
  
"Enormous nose," Sirius said,  
  
"Fowl stench," Remus added.  
  
"Ooooooooh," Sirius and James said in unison.  
  
"You don't scare me," Snape said.  
  
"Oh we don't? Damn, you've hurt my feelings," James said.  
  
"All right a duel," Snape said, with a twisted smile.  
  
"A d-duel?" Peter whined. It was obvious that Snape knew all the curses there were.  
  
"Not with you, prat," Snape said coldly.  
  
"Hey Bozo! No one, but me can call Peter a prat!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"Yeah!" Peter cried.  
  
" A duel with James, what do you say?" Snape asked, ignoring Sirius.  
  
"Sure," James said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Good, Lucius is my second," Snape answered.  
  
"Malfoy? But he's a sixth year!" Peter cried, even more nervous than before.  
  
"Yes, I know," Snape cried happily, "You're not Chicken are you?"  
  
"Of course we're not, Sirius is my second, unless… you don't mind Remus do you?" James said, not even thinking of Peter as a choice.  
  
"No, he's better with curses anyway."  
  
"Both kinds." Sirius said, grinning.  
  
"What time do you want us Snape?"  
  
"Midnight?"  
  
"Yeah okay," James said.  
  
"If you're not going to show up though, and you're trying to give us detention, it won't work, we've already got detention," Sirius said. Snape looked bewildered.  
  
"How did you know I was go-"  
  
" We're smarter than that!" Remus cried.  
  
"So… we're going to have to fight?" Snape asked, trying to be casual.  
  
"Yup, and Lucius is going to be your second,"  
  
"But- I don't even know Lucius…" Snape said, his voice going a scale higher.  
  
"Pity," James said.  
  
"Maybe we should call it off then," Snape said.  
  
"Ok, if you want to," James said, shrugging. And Snape left to the Slytherin table.  
  
"That was brilliant!" Peter cried.  
  
"I'd still like to kill him though…" Sirius said, eyes twinkling.  
  
"Oh no, Sirius's got that look," Remus whined.  
  
"The deadly look? With the little gleam on his left eye, his lips twitching into that twisted evil smile?" James asked.  
  
"That's the one."  
  
"Revenge," Sirius gritted.  
  
"Uh Sirius, he's got pink hair, we're not the one's who need revenge," Remus stated.  
  
"That's not big enough," Sirius said.  
  
"He hasn't done anything yet!" James cried.  
  
"What about those times he punched Peter, and cursed him huh?" Sirius cried.  
  
"Sirius, you already dealt with that, Snape was with madam Pomfrey for a month…"  
  
"Yeah but-" Sirius started.  
  
"Sirius! I hate him as much as you do, even more …but think… what the hell can we do?" James asked, murdering his eggs with his fork.  
  
"I dunno, I'd think of something…" Sirius said.  
  
" I don't doubt it for a second, but Sirius, think about that little voice in your head…your conscience…" Remus said.  
  
"Oh, I lost that a long time ago along with my common sense," Sirius said.  
  
James sighed.  
  
"Sirius, you're right," James said.  
  
"I am?" Sirius asked surprised.  
  
"Yeah, Snape is a bullying git, but… let's wait until he does something to us…" James said.  
  
Sirius thought it over, but in the ended, frowned but…  
  
"Okay, deal," Sirius said, hopping Snape would do something soon.  
  
Right then, Lily Evans, Morgan Donnelly and Renee, unfortunately Sirius's twin sister, Black came to the table.  
  
"Hey," Sirius said as Morgan came to sit down next to him.  
  
"Hi, I couldn't copy your potions homework could I? I have Quidditch all day," Morgan asked Sirius. Morgan was one of the Gryffindor chasers.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't do it yet," Sirius said.  
  
"Sirius! You have Quidditch all day too!" James cried.  
  
"Yeah," Sirius said, obviously. "I'm going to copy it from you!"  
  
"Ugh! Here," James said looking trough his bag for his homework.  
  
"Thanks, you can copy mine after words Morgan…do you need it too Lil?" Sirius asked.  
  
"No, I'm responsible and actually do my homework," Lily said sarcastically.  
  
"You really shouldn't copy homework," Renee scowled.  
  
"Oh well, it doesn't hurt to do it once or twice," Sirius said.  
  
"You copy it every night!" Renee shouted.  
  
"Shut- up, you're not my mum," Sirius said.  
  
"I'm your sister aren't I?"  
  
"Unfortunately yes!" Sirius shouted.  
  
"I thought twins were supposed to have a friendly connection," Lily whispered to Morgan.  
  
"Yeah well not Ren and Sirius, that's for sure," Morgan said.  
  
"There always fighting about something…" Remus agreed.  
  
"They just never agree…"  
  
They also switched debate subjects quickly, just before it was copying homework, now Renee was telling Sirius off how he shouldn't hit a bludger right to the bleachers to hit Snape.  
  
"Well he provoked me!" Sirius shouted.  
  
"Oh yeah, how?"  
  
"He looked me strait in the eye!" Sirius said.  
  
"How threatening! You could get kicked off the team for that!" Renee cried.  
  
"I think I know I bit more about Quidditch than you do…" Sirius said.  
  
"Look, here's Wood, " (Oliver wood's dad) "Bet he's here to kick you off the team."  
  
"Just for one bloody foul?"  
  
"Hey, Sirius could I talk to you and James?" Wood asked.  
  
"Sirius and James in trouble?" Remus asked.  
  
"Have you ever known them not to be in trouble?" Wood asked.  
  
"Good point." Remus agreed.  
  
"What's up, Alex?" James asked, as the two were pulled aside.  
  
"We need to practice now! Really quick! The Slytherin seeker, Malfoy or something, was on a E.R.T!" Wood said.  
  
"Come again?" Sirius asked.  
  
"A England reserve team! He must be really good because he's only sixteen…James you may be good, but your only a third year,"  
  
"Ok, hold on let me finish breakfast…"  
  
"No time! Quick get on your robes! Morgan… you need to come too…" Wood said.  
  
"All right," Morgan sighed and followed the three up to the Gryffindor tower. 


	2. To glue or not to glue, that is the ques...

James and Sirius went to the Quidditch field for practice where they met their fellow team members.  
  
"All right troop, we're going to practice all day all night, rain or shine,"  
  
"In this case rain," Sirius mumbled getting drenched by the pounding rain.  
  
"Shut-up Sirius," Wood said, leaning against his broom. "I'm not going to deny it, That Malfoy guy is good, real good. We're going to need to be the quickest, the fastest-"  
  
"That's the same thing." Sirius reminded him.  
  
"Well you get the point, Morgan, Jessica and Lizzy, go out and pass the quaffle, shoot a couple off times, the usual."  
  
The three girls nodded, and were of to practice.  
  
"Sirius and Justin, practice. This time I want Justin alive Sirius okay?" Wood said.  
  
"All right," Sirius sighed and Justin looked relieved. "But I need to practice to kill Malfoy."  
  
"No funny business, both of you," Wood said to the beaters, though looking strait at Sirius. "We can't afford any fouls,"  
  
"No Fouls? Not even a slight push?" Sirius said. (please!!!!)  
  
"Um…no," Wood said, looking stern.  
  
"Sirius, just agree so you can practice," James sighed.  
  
"All right, Wood," Sirius said, highly disappointed.  
  
Sirius and Justin walked off to practice.  
  
"DODGE THIS!" Sirius shouted, hitting the bludger right to Morgan.  
  
"Sirius! Stop! Alex! That's a foul!" Morgan cried as getting hit by the bludger.  
  
"Sorry, my aim was off, I was trying to hit James,"  
  
James who was like forty miles away heard this.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Sorry, but it's the truth,"  
  
"No it's not!" James scowled.  
  
"Sirius! Stop fooling around," Wood said, flying next to him. "We really need to practice!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but James was on the other team," Sirius said.  
  
"Yeah, but you hit Morgan. Who's on your team!" Wood cried.  
  
"Oh, that explains a lot,"  
  
Wood groaned.  
  
"All right, everyone but Sirius can go," Wood explained, and everyone went to change.  
  
"Sirius," Wood said.  
  
"Yeah?" Gulped Sirius. Then Sirius thought of what Renee was saying… "You'll get kicked off the team…" Was Renee right? She is top on everything. Sirius thought.  
  
"Ok Sirius?" Wood finished.  
  
"Come again?" Sirius said.  
  
"Uh! I said stop goofing off, you're a really good beater and I don't want to lose you on the team, but we do have other beaters who will be serious. So try and be serious OK?"  
  
"I'm always Sirius, aren't I?" (Not this skit again!)  
  
"You serious? Never," Alex said.  
  
"But I'm always Sirius," Sirius said slowly, raising his brow.  
  
"Sirius, you're never serious,"  
  
"When am I not Sirius?" Sirius mumbled.  
  
"Always,"  
  
"But I'm always Sirius!"  
  
"No, you're not!"  
  
"Then if I'm not Sirius, who am I?"  
  
"Don't act like a prat,"  
  
"Now I get you," Sirius cried.  
  
Wood laughed.  
  
"All right, go catch up with James," Wood said.  
  
"Right!" Sirius said grinning.  
  
"And there's a game tomorrow! So wake up early," Wood cried after a running Sirius.  
  
"I didn't hear that you know!" Sirius cried over his shoulder.  
  
Remus met James, Peter and Sirius in the common room that night. Peter, was reading the Cat and the red cap, James was finishing his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay and Sirius was just starting.  
  
"Remus?" Sirius cried, "How do you spell catastrophe?"  
  
"Look it up," Remus said promptly. Sirius looked revolted at the idea of doing extra work just for spelling.  
  
"James," Sirius whined, "How do you spell catastrophe?"  
  
"S-I-R-I-U-S," James said, rolling his eyes, as Sirius quickly scribbled.  
  
"Huh, that's funny, it looks like my name," Sirius said, cocking his head to the right.  
  
"How peculiar," James said dryly.  
  
"It is your name, smart one," Remus pointed out.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well, I'm going to bed," Peter said, putting his book away in his bag.  
  
"All ready? Peter it's only seven," James said.  
  
"Yeah, I stayed up late last night,"  
  
"C'mon Peter! We need you to help us with rigging the Slytherin's broom for the match," Sirius said.  
  
"Sorry, I'm going to sit this one out, We already have detention cleaning up the hospital wing, I heard Alan Abbott's barfing all over the place, " Peter said.  
  
"All right," Remus said. "G'night"  
  
"Yeah! Night Pete!" Sirius cried after Peter, climbing up the curling dormitory stairs.  
  
"What's another word for help?" Sirius asked, looking up from his paper.  
  
"Look it up," James and Remus said in unison.  
  
"Ugh! Guys, help me with my essay! I need to finish it so we can rig the Slytherin sticks," Sirius cried happily.  
  
"I don't like the idea of cheating," James said.  
  
"Ah does Jamsey have a soft side?" Sirius teased.  
  
"Do you have a smart side?" James shot back.  
  
"That's besides the point. Look all we're going to do is put glue on there sticks, it's not cheating, literally," Sirius explained, waving his hand.  
  
"Sirius, do you need to cheat to win?" James asked.  
  
"'Course not, Even Hufflepuff can beat sucky Slytherin," Sirius said.  
  
"So why glue them?" Remus asked. "That sounded really weird." He added, shaking his head.  
  
"'Cause they're Slytherin, and they suck."  
  
James sighed, "Look, I'd love to embarrass the Slytherin, but…"  
  
"Gryffindor are clean fighters," Remus put in.  
  
"It is clean, its clear clue," Sirius said.  
  
"Ugh, how about we glue Mrs. Norris instead or something."  
  
"Slytherin's," Sirius stamped.  
  
"Mrs. Norris," James cried.  
  
"Slytherin!"  
  
"Cat!"  
  
"Slytherin!"  
  
"Cat!"  
  
"Slytherin!"  
  
"Cat!"  
  
"Slytherin"  
  
"C-"  
  
"Shut-up you two!" Remus cried.  
  
"Slytherin," Sirius mumbled.  
  
"Fine, let's glue their broom sticks, only if it doesn't affect the game. It won't right?" James asked.  
  
"Probably not, but still, it's been done before Sirius," Remus said, getting an idea.  
  
"What do you mean? My ideas are always original," Sirius shot back.  
  
"But didn't Lily tell you about a time her cousin glued the Slytherin's, it has been done," Remus stated. This was a total lie, but Sirius isn't the fasted broom on the team, and he doesn't really pay attention to what people say.  
  
"Oh yeah! Wasn't his name Bob?"  
  
"Bob?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, that's it, Bob," James said.  
  
"But, hold on…isn't Lily muggle born?" Remus pointed out.  
  
"Shh, what he don't know, don't hurt him," James mumbled.  
  
Remus shook his head. "Improper English…"  
  
"Well, if it isn't original, help me think of something else to do…''  
  
"I'm sticking with the whole Mrs. Norris thing," James said.  
  
"I got it!" Sirius cried, raising from the armchair in front of the fire.  
  
"What?" Said not only James and Remus, but also everyone else in the common room.  
  
"We can glue Mrs. Norris!"  
  
"That was my idea," James said.  
  
"Then why didn't you tell me mate?"  
  
James groaned a little too loud.  
  
"Oh well…since we can't do that..."  
  
"Who said we cant?" James asked.  
  
"Me…now let's…um glue…"  
  
"What is it with you and glue?" Remus asked.  
  
"Well, I got some glue for Christmas and what else am I gonna use it for?" Sirius asked.  
  
"School,"  
  
"When…" Sirius demanded, "Will I ever need glue at Hogwarts?"  
  
"When you have a project!" Remus said, "And who in your family sent you glue for Christmas?"  
  
"Renee, she had nothing better to give to me…she says it's better then what I give her," Sirius answered in disgust.  
  
"What did you give her?" James asked.  
  
" A moldy sock… but it's the thought that counts," Sirius said.  
  
"Yeah, thought," James answered.  
  
"So, are we gonna glue Mrs. Norris?" Remus asked.  
  
"Nah, let's just sleep," Sirius said.  
  
"Best Idea you've had in ages," James said.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Never mind Si, never mind…" 


	3. Great Gryffindor, Stupid Slytherin

Chapter Three: Great Gryffindor and Stupid Slytherin  
  
"Sirius!" Peter yelled in Sirius's ear the next morning.  
  
"Shut-up you great ugly ape," Sirius mumbled.  
  
"Sirius!" James said.  
  
"Did I not just tell you to shut the hell up?"  
  
"We have a game today,"  
  
"Mm? Against whom? In what sport?" Sirius mumbled.  
  
"Against Polish in Football, " Remus answered, rolling his eyes.  
  
"I play football?"  
  
"Duh! Sirius! Big Quidditch match against Slytherin!"  
  
"Is that a city in Poland?"  
  
"Sirius wake up!"  
  
"Fine!" Sirius Mumbled, as rolled off his bed.  
  
"Ow." Sirius said, standing up, rubbing his head.  
  
"Wow, that was easy," James said.  
  
"Oh my god Sirius!" Remus  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"You're hair…"  
  
"My hair? What's wrong with my hair?" Sirius cried. Right then Adam woke up.  
  
"Sirius!" Adam screamed. "You're hair…"  
  
"My hair? My hair, my hair, my hair," Sirius whined.  
  
"You slept with the glue? Sirius!" Remus cried.  
  
"I did? I did, I did I did!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"Don't panic…" Adam started.  
  
"Quick James! Do a charm to make it go away!" Sirius yelled.  
  
"You assume I can?"  
  
"Well, you're smart aren't you?" Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Me? Oh Sirius I don't know anything...Remus?"  
  
"I got nothing…I'll go ask Lily she's really smart…"  
  
"NO! A girl is not allowed to see me like this!" Sirius cried, covering his arms over his head.  
  
There was a knock at the door; Sirius lunged into his closet as Morgan came in.  
  
"Hi guys, Alex told me to get…where's Sirius?"  
  
A squashed voice came from the closet  
  
"Oh! A Knut!"  
  
"Sirius? Why are you in the closet?" Morgan asked, twirling one of her brown braid.  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Mmmm…well Alex says you should come really soon. He says reminds you to be serious…"  
  
"But I'm always Sirius!" Sirius yelled through the closet.  
  
"Look, I have to go…Alex is going to have my blood if I don't get back…"  
  
"Do you know how to get glue out of hair?" Peter asked quickly.  
  
"Yeah all you have to do is…why?" Morgan asked, her hazel eyes squinted suspiciously.  
  
"Well…you see…um…" the three started.  
  
"I don't have time to hear the excuse, use the Girilium charm," Morgan answered.  
  
"Oh! I should of thought of that! That's simple!" Remus cried.  
  
" You Should of, but you didn't," Sirius cried from in the closet.  
  
" Well I have practice, you do too, hope to see you in a minute…bye Sirius," Morgan said.  
  
"Bye!" Sirius cried as Morgan left the room muttering,  
  
"Very strange guys…cute but very strange…"  
  
~*~  
  
"What is the girilium charm?" Sirius asked,  
  
"Oh! I know! Remus, James can I do it?" Peter asked.  
  
"No, let Remus do it…he's done it before," Sirius said.  
  
"I have?" Remus said as Sirius kicked him. "Oh, yeah, I have,"  
  
"Okay," said Peter, a little disappointed.  
  
"Well, hurry up, we have the game in an hour or so…"Sirius said.  
  
"Yeah, well hold on…I have to remember how to do this…"  
  
Sirius groaned. "Peter, go tell Alex where I am," Peter nodded and went down the stairs.  
  
"Poor guy, all right let me do this…hopefully correctly… you wouldn't mind if your hair is blue would you?"  
  
"Oh no…not at all…" Sirius said rolling his eyes. Actually, it would be kind of cool. Yeah… Sirius the blue headed freak. Cool.  
  
"All right…Girialiuso!" Remus cried…and glue flew out of Sirius's hair right on to…  
  
"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter! You should be at- AH!"  
  
Professor McGonagol's hair was covered with the glue from Sirius hair.  
  
"Oh dear," Remus said.  
  
"Potter! Lupin and Black! What is the meaning of this…glue? I have never been attacked by glue before! I thought you all had better sense, better manners… horrible just disgusting!  
  
!"  
  
"Again?" Sirius groaned.  
  
"Ah yes, the Detention from Professor Gevine is April sixth on a Wednesday, the day following will be mine. Yes, well…I have to fix my hair…it's not funny Mr. Black!"  
  
"Right Professor, I'll be getting ready for the game…"  
  
"Be lucky I didn't take you both of the team! Because Lupin here won't be able to commentate,"  
  
"Oh, but please Professor, today I need to co-"  
  
"I said no, and no means no in thirty different languages!"  
  
Remus lowered his head.  
  
"Commentating is the closest thing I can do to Quidditch, since I can't play because…I have medical issues…"  
  
"Oh! Yes, I forgot that's why you don't play Quidditch, well…all right then…"McGonagol said hesitantly. "Minerva, you're turning into a softy."  
  
"I like the softy one much better!" Sirius cried.  
  
Professor McGonagol left the room. And Peter came in.  
  
"Wood says you got five minutes," Peter said.  
  
" Yeah, okay thanks Peter." James turned to Remus his gray-blue eyes searching him carefully. "Medical issues? Remus?" James asked.  
  
"The fact I'm a werewolf…" Remus said sadly, lowering his head.  
  
"Oh, right I forgot about that for a moment, I'm really sorry... it must be horrible," James said.  
  
"You don't know the half of it…the pain… and those nights I have to be alone, howling…I'm a monster… but I really don't want to bring it up," Remus sighed.  
  
"We can come with you for now on! You wont be lonely, maybe we'll distract you from the pain," Peter suggested.  
  
"Don't be a prat Peter, I'll bite you…and then you will die…only if there was a way."  
  
"Well, werewolf bites don't effect Animals right?" James said.  
  
"That's great! We'll be animagi and then we can run around prancing with a werewolf and life would be happy!" Sirius said sarcastically.  
  
"Sirius! That would work!" James cried.  
  
"I really have to stop being sarcastic,"  
  
"No, really, we'll make the potion…it'll work! We make the potion, we become an animal and on full moons we can go and cause mayhem"  
  
"I don't know, wouldn't it be hard? The potions supposed to be real difficult, maybe thirty other potions to add into that one… it would take forever…and then to register takes a long time too…"  
  
"Remus…Remus…Remus," Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "Who says we have to resister?"  
  
"Sirius!" Remus cried bewildered. "Of course we have to register… right?"  
  
"Oh come on, like they would let us become Animagi!! We can do it alone, starting tonight, I'm sure the potion will be in a book…"  
  
"That's in the restricted area?" James reminded Sirius.  
  
" Hello? You're cloak!"  
  
"Five minutes, guys, till practice" Peter cried, checking his watch.  
  
"Right… we'll get back to this later, its definitely not a bad idea." James turned to Sirius. "Let's change. Remus, Peter we'll catch up," James said.  
  
"Yea! Good luck, win for us, we need it, we're second in the house cup!" Remus cried.  
  
"Yeah, I can see there's no pressure," Sirius said.  
  
"Oh shut-up, well good luck!" Remus cried as he and Peter left.  
  
Sirius turned to James, grinning.  
  
"Right, let's kick some arse!"  
  
~*~  
  
Sirius and James left for the field a half an hour before the game.  
  
"Sirius! James! Thank God! Go practice, NOW! You guys are late!"  
  
Sirius and James mounted their brooms quickly.  
  
"Hey Sirius, thought you weren't going to make it," Morgan said, flashing a grin as Sirius flew next to her.  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm here…and I'd move if I were you?" Sirius said.  
  
"Why?" Morgan asked.  
  
"Because there's a stray bludger!" Sirius cried, hitting the bludger above her head.  
  
"Hey! Sirius! Ah!"  
  
In the bleachers, Lily, Renee, and Peter were watching.  
  
"What is Sirius doing?" Renee asked.  
  
"Beats the hell out of me," Lily shrugged.  
  
"Flirting," Peter said promptly.  
  
"Since when was killing a part of flirting?" Lily asked.  
  
"Well Sirius has got his ways doesn't he?" Peter shrugged.  
  
"Who say's Sirius even likes Morgan?" Renee asked.  
  
"Just watch, and they'll be together by Lunch."  
  
"I dunno Peter…things could go wrong," Lily said.  
  
"Trust me," Peter told her.  
  
"Sirius and Morgan?" Renee asked, shuddering. "My best friend and Brother dating? I'll be in therapy for years."  
  
"All right troop," Wood started.  
  
"Not this again," Sirius muttered to James.  
  
"I'm going to give you the speech my father gave his team, and my father's father gave his team, and his father gave it to his team and my sons gonna give it just as my f-"  
  
"We get it Alex," Sirius said.  
  
"Right anyway… We all know that this team, is the best ruddy team yet, we know it doesn't matter what brooms we have, if we have girls or not, we are strong, we are brave… remember they may be good, but they weren't good enough to be put in Gryffindor, they are stuck in Slytherin, so let's show them what we're made of and wish that they were Gryffindors! Let's make Godric Proud!"  
  
The seven team members looked bluntly at Alex.  
  
"Alex, We can do this!" Lizzy said.  
  
"It's our turn to show Stupid Slytherin how great we Gryffindors are!" Morgan cried.  
  
"Stupid Slytherin, Great Gryffindor! Hey that's funny!" Sirius cried.  
  
"Shut-up," James sighed, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Let's play, boys…" Wood cried.  
  
The team gave Wood a look.  
  
"Lets play, boys and girls," Wood said.  
  
"Let's get ready to rumble!" Sirius cried. The team looked at him strangely.  
  
"Its an American thing."  
  
~*~  
  
The whistle blew as the red and green cloaks swarmed the field. The cheers were loud, as if it was the Quidditch cup. There were the occasional flags showing their teams. Remus was standing on the top box, ready to announce the game, and Professor McGonagol next to him, just in case he got out of hand.  
  
"Let me introduce the Gryffindors! Lizzy Landbeck, Jessica Flora and Morgan Donnelly, Justin Thomas, Sirius Black…"  
  
"Cheer people!" Sirius cried.  
  
"Alex Wood aaaaaand James Potter, okay I think that's about it…" Remus said quickly.  
  
"Lupin!"  
  
"Yes Professor?"  
  
"The Slytherin,"  
  
"What? Oh them, yeah, all right, Rogers, Primavra, Lydon, Pace, Kazarian, and Malfoy," Remus said rather unenthusiastically. The whistle blew and the cloaks soon looked like blurs.  
  
James was looking for the snitch, as in that was his job, and seriously hoped that Sirius took off his gold watch. Not too much action yet…but from the way Remus is talking, it sounds like five people have died.  
  
"The Slytherin have the Quaffle, damn it, Oh! But Landbeck got it back! Landbeck passes to Flora, Flora passes to Finnigan, Finnigan passes…Oh no! It's intercepted! So now its Rogers…"  
  
Remus, shut up. James thought. Remus usually is a very calm student, but when it comes to Quidditch, he turns into a wolf! It gets him very excited, and he tends to blob out all his anger and language he picked up from Sirius and let it all out in the microphone. Oh well, it does no good to yell at him now. Just look for a snitch…is that it? No…Sirius forgot to take off his watch, great.  
  
" And Pace passes…drop it…drop it…I mean um…Oh shit…Black hits the bludger to Pace, Ow…that's going to show in the morning, at least it's not a foul…WHAT? It's a foul! No its not you b- I mean after a completely unfair foul the score is 10, 0 to Slytherin," Remus smiled nervously as McGonagol gave Remus her death glare.  
  
Ha! Take that Pace! Sirius thought smugly. Where's Justin?  
  
Sirius looked around the field and saw Justin trying to hit two bludgers at once. Sirius sighed and went to go help him.  
  
"Flora to Finnigan, Finnigan to Landbeck, Landbeck's going for the shot…can Kazarian block it? Of course not! And Gryffindor scores making the score 20- 30 Gryffindor!"  
  
Snitch…Snitch…Snitch…hold on… that's it! Right at the bottom of the goal post. Yes! James nudged his broom and shot down quickly but Malfoy was right next to him.  
  
"Losers can't play Quidditch," Malfoy whispered.  
  
"Yeah? Then why are you playing?" James asked hotly.  
  
Malfoy's pale face turned a quite deep red. Malfoy then, knocked into James and his broom making James knock his eye and nose into his broom. He picked his head up as the blood dripped from his nose. Then Malfoy gripped James's broom, and twisted it to the side making James go with the broom, turning upside down.  
  
"Foul!" Remus cried. "Did you see that? That slimy little Ba-" Then Remus realized the professor was there. "Sorry Professor, but did you see that!"  
  
"Yes, it's all very sad Mr. Lupin,"  
  
And on the bleachers.  
  
"Is James all right?" Lily jumped up.  
  
"I dunno, it looks bad," Peter said.  
  
"James, if you die, I'll…I'll kill you!"  
  
"Die?" Renee asked. "Lil, he's not that hurt, broken nose at the least. And why would you care? You guys aren't a couple"  
  
"Yeah…well…" Lily blushed.  
  
"THAT FOUL, IDIOT EXCUSE OF A WIZARD!" Sirius cried.  
  
Morgan rushed to Sirius.  
  
"Is he all right?"  
  
"No, he's dead on the ground, no pulse as cold as an ice cube! Of course he's all right, look he's flicking Malfoy off," Sirius said. "Not a bad idea, mind you."  
  
Morgan laughed.  
  
"You better take you're foul shot, its not a time out," Sirius reminded her.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah,"  
  
And don't worry, Morgan made the shot.  
  
"That's 80, 70, Slytherin, but the night is young!"  
  
"As young as Professor Dumbledore," Muttered a Slytherin in the bleachers, very close to Remus.  
  
"Excuse me?" Remus asked hotly.  
  
"I said Gryffindor doesn't have a chance, you're too stupid" The Slytherin shot back.  
  
"Really? Then why does Slytherin start with an S for which also happens to be the first letter of Stupid," Remus said.  
  
"Yeah, well the G in Gryffindor stands for…uh…uh…"  
  
"Great," Remus helped him.  
  
"Yeah! That's it…wait…no…it's not."  
  
"How stupid are you?" Remus asked.  
  
"You want to take this outside?" The Slytherin asked.  
  
"Aren't we all ready outside?"  
  
"Ah, A smart ass, well I'm not gonna take your crap,"  
  
"Excuse me? What crap?" Remus asked.  
  
"The…um…you know…crap,"  
  
"Oh I see," Remus said annoyed.  
  
"Fine, have it you'" And the Slytherin swung a punch at Remus, but he ducked just in time, only making the Slytherin hit none other than Professor McGonagol.  
  
"Uh-oh," Remus said getting up.  
  
"Mr. Goyle!" McGonagol started, being able to be heard loudly, as Remus was. "Fifty Points from Slytherin! There is no fighting in Hogwarts, especially at the teacher!"  
  
"It was him! I swear!" Goyle said dumbly, jerking his thumb to Remus' direction.  
  
"Really? You mean, I'm to believe that the most responsible twelve year old I know punched me?" McGonagol asked.  
  
"Responsible?" Choked Sirius.  
  
"Um…yes?" The Slytherin whined.  
  
"I don't think so, another ten points off, for lying to a teacher. And detention!"  
  
The Slytherin huffed, and stormed off back to his seat.  
  
"Yeah, right then, back to the game," Remus sighed.  
  
The game was playing and nothing really good happened, except Gryffindor scoring once more, tying the game. James was still squinting. This game is going on way too long, I want to go back and party, and maybe even ask Li…never mind that, the snitch.  
  
And then he saw it; out of the corner of his eye, a gold glint. His head jerked to the sight of the shine, to see the Snitch. It was floating, near the Slytherin chaser, Pace.  
  
"Yes," James cried, pushing his boom.  
  
"Yes," Malfoy cried, pushing his broom.  
  
They were neck and neck, and History was repeating it's self.  
  
Malfoy pushed his broom and got ahead of James, he was right near the snitch, his hand stretched when...  
  
"Eat Slugs, Malfoy!" Sirius screamed, hitting the bludger right to Malfoy, he ducked quickly, dodging the bludger barely, giving time to James, who got faster and was an inch in front of Malfoy.  
  
"Oh, no you don't," Malfoy said.  
  
"Oh, yes I do," James shot back, and with a slight push of the broom, and a stretch of his arm, his hand tightly grasped the gold snitch. He looked at his hand, amazed. He raised his arm in the air.  
  
"YES!"  
  
The cheers were earsplitting, and the red flags were put up high in the air, as the green were lowered.  
  
"Honestly," Lizzy sighed walking to the locker room. "You'd think we just won the championship."  
  
"Well, we sorta did," Jessica stated.  
  
"What d'you mean?" Morgan asked.  
  
"We're ahead of Slytherin in the house cup now."  
  
The girls squealed with delight.  
  
"Awesome job, team. Great beating, Sirius and Justin. Oh James wonderful catch! Oh… I think I'm going to…"Wood started.  
  
"PARTY!" Sirius cried. The team cheered and went to the Gryffindor tower, where the "fans" were all waiting.  
  
~*~  
  
When Sirius and James meet up with Remus and Peter in the common room, it looked as if Sirius would die of pleasure. Not that James, Remus and Peter don't like a good party, but Sirius had that particular pleasure of a colossal party. And this wasn't colossal, it was mammoth. Music, banners food and a huge amount of girls. This was Sirius' biggest dream, though for some reasons all the girls had tops on. Even Peter, who was shy and a bit geeky, had a group of girls (not the most popular girls mind you), crowding him, asking how it is to be the best friend of a Quidditch star.  
  
There were Congo lines. The marauders coming in and out from the party with more food, whenever they were running low. And seeing Sirius sing the new muggle hit, Lady Marmalade was always something to see.  
  
By three in the morning, McGonagol told the mob to go to bed six times, and everyone was tired except Sirius. And Sirius released his puppy eyes, and his friends were forced to stay.  
  
"C'mon Morgan, one more time!" Sirius pleaded.  
  
"No more Congo line, Sirius," Morgan cried, exasperated.  
  
"Fine, then let's play three fouls, (a game like truth or dare, without truth)  
  
"Sirius, C'mon, just go to sleep," James urged him, half asleep on the couch.  
  
"Sirius, we love you dearly, but we need to sleep," Morgan told him.  
  
"Here, Here!" Cried Peter. Lily, Renee, and Adam nodded.  
  
"You guys don't have to wait for me, go to sleep, Remus and I will have plenty of fun with out you all!"  
  
"Actually, Sirius, I'm kind of tired too."  
  
"Fine, prisoners of the puppy eyes are released," Sirius mumbled.  
  
James, Peter, Remus, Adam, Renee, and Lily ran as fast as they could to their dormitories.  
  
Morgan stayed back.  
  
"You can go now!" Sirius muttered.  
  
"I'm not too tired," Morgan told him. "It was fun. But a party that goes too long, ruins it."  
  
"Thank you, Professor McGonagol," Sirius said grouchily.  
  
Morgan grinned.  
  
"Night, Sirius, see you later," Morgan said, and turned around and started to walk up the stairs to her dormitory.  
  
" Morgan!" Sirius cried after her.  
  
"Yeah?" She said as she turned around.  
  
"Duck!" Sirius cried, and threw a pillow at her.  
  
"You're dead, Black!" Morgan cried, and ran down the stairs and started beating Sirius with a pillow. 


	4. Usually Boring, but today thrilling, cla...

Chapter Four: Usually Boring, but today thrilling, classes  
  
The next morning, Sirius went to breakfast, very groggy. He and Morgan stayed up until five, talking and killing each other. When James saw Sirius as he approached the table, he grinned.  
  
"Aren't you glad you stayed up all night?" James asked.  
  
"Shut up," Sirius mumbled, sitting next to him.  
  
"I heard you come in at five, where were you?" Remus asked.  
  
"I was in the common room," Sirius told him, grabbing some sausages.  
  
"You were alone? For two hours? Sirius, that's got to be a record," Peter told him.  
  
"I wasn't alone," Sirius said. "Morgan was there too."  
  
" Sirius! What did you do to her? What happened? Were you two making out?" James asked.  
  
Sirius punched James.  
  
"Ow! What was that for?" James asked.  
  
"I dunno, I felt like punching some one," Sirius told him.  
  
"How pleasant," Remus told him.  
  
"So when are we going to the library?" James asked the three.  
  
"Library?"  
  
"Yeah," James said, lowering his voice. "To get the potion for being Animagi."  
  
"Are we still doing that then? I thought it was one of those spur of the moment things," Sirius whispered.  
  
Everyone ignored him.  
  
"I guess tonight would be a good time to get the book," Remus told James.  
  
"Yeah, I just got to find my cloak. I think it's under my bed."  
  
"You guys really want to go through with this?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yeah, why not?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Remus, before you know it, three animals will next to you every full moon, causing mayhem. Being marauders…"James started that.  
  
"I like that," Remus told them. "Marauders, that's who we are."  
  
"And who'll we be," Peter said.(liar)  
  
"But first," James said. " Double Potions with the Slytherin's."  
  
The four groaned and got their books and hurried up for potions where Professor Gevine was waiting.  
  
"…Each group will get a different potion, which I will hand out now," He said, handing out pieces of papers. "You will work in pairs of two, you're potion will be done in a half an hour, you may start," Professor Gevine smile crookedly.  
  
Sirius took the piece of paper handed by Gevine and moaned.  
  
"The Punigulius Potion," He told James.  
  
"Great," James said, flipping through his potion's book. "Here are the ingredients."  
  
"Damn!" Sirius cried, reading the book. "I'll go get the Lightning bug crap." And he left for the drawer.  
  
"Remus, what potion did you get?" James asked.  
  
"The Linuis Potion," Remus told him.  
  
"I swear," Peter started, "That we shouldn't even know these potions until 5th year." He whined, getting a tube of goober tuber pus.  
  
"Yeah, but I reckon one of these will help us with being…" James started, but then stopped, seeing Snape listening very carefully.  
  
"Bug off, prat," James told him.  
  
Snape looked surprised and hurried to his own potion.  
  
Sirius came back with the Lighting bug…yeah…and sat down next to James.  
  
"What's up?" Sirius asked, reading James' look of disgust on his face.  
  
"Snape," James muttered. "I almost let out our Animagi plans."  
  
Sirius looked as though he was thinking. Then his face cracked into an evil grin.  
  
"Uh-oh," Remus said faintly.  
  
"What now?" James asked.  
  
Sirius just kept on grinning, and finally let out a sigh.  
  
"If only…"Sirius said.  
  
"If only what?" Peter asked.  
  
"Don't even ask, Peter," James told him.  
  
"Too late, and that means Sirius has to answer."  
  
"It's perfect," Sirius said, ignoring everyone's doubts. "We kill…"  
  
"Sirius!" the other three cried.  
  
"We don't kill people, even if they are slimy gits," James told him.  
  
"Not him," Sirius said. "His reputation, his work, his…oh hell with it, lets bung something in his cauldron."  
  
"Oh, that is perfect," James said sarcastically.  
  
"Well, I was going to do something else, but the I realized it was almost impossible, and terribly against the law."  
  
"Well, what do we chuck in?" James asked.  
  
Sirius thought and then looked in the cauldron, at the lighting bug waste, and smirked.  
  
"That," He pointed. "It will ruin his potion and smell really bad."  
  
The four smiled, and started to plan.  
  
"Our potion does have to be done, and so does Remus'" James pointed out.  
  
"I'll do both," said Remus. "The Punigulius charm is my specialty, and I'm almost done with Peter's and mine all ready."  
  
"Great," Sirius cried. "We'll need a distraction, obviously me," Sirius grinned. "The look-out, Peter, and the person who actually puts the crap in the cauldron, Jamie boy!"  
  
"Right."  
  
"I guess now is as good as ever, if everyone knows what there doing," James said.  
  
They nodded.  
  
"Okay, Sirius if you could do the honor?" James asked.  
  
Sirius grinned, and walked over to Snape's table. He knocked over the bowl of lace Wings.  
  
"Oh!" Sirius said. "Here bugger brain, let me help." Sirius knelt down and knocked down Troll skin and bottle of Dragon's blood.  
  
"Black! You did that on purpose!" Snape cried.  
  
"Oops?" Sirius asked innocently.  
  
"Oops is right! You better clean all that up…"  
  
Meanwhile James was edging near Snapes cauldron. In his hand was the waste with some dung bombs, for flavor, he thought. He carefully slipped them in and slid back to his table, with Remus and Peter, helping them with the potions.  
  
There was a boom! Both Sirius and Snape who were bickering looked up surprised, and drenched with dragon blood, and some waste in there hair.  
  
"What the?" Snape cried.  
  
"That is not what Lightning bug crap does!" Sirius cried.  
  
All the people, who got wet with Snape's potion, cried and went to complain to Snape. Sirius, who also was quite drenched, went to complain to James.  
  
"Did I say to put in Dung Bombs?" Sirius asked, potion dripping from his face.  
  
James couldn't keep a straight face, and he ended up laughing hysterically. Remus and Peter joined in. Sirius looked at them with rage, but then he to smiled and started to laugh.  
  
Professor Gevine was furious, and couldn't get the dung bomb off the floor. Cursing very loudly, he let the class out early.  
  
"You should be done by now anyway, I'll check who finished, whoever didn't finish gets 15 points of from there house, except Snape and Prinly, who obviously couldn't of finished."  
  
Though Remus and Peter's potion wasn't done, they did get away without homework, which was good, because they would be busy that night.  
  
"What's next James?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Transfiguration," James said.  
  
"Great, two strict teachers in a row, how fun," Sirius moaned. " I hate Mondays."  
  
The four got to Transfiguration five minutes early. They sat down, and used the privacy of the empty classroom to there advantage.  
  
"Well," James thought out loud. "I reckon it'll take awhile to find the book, because it's in the restricted section."  
  
"Yeah," Remus whispered. "How are we supposed to find it with out Madam Pipin's help?"  
  
"We'll leave earlier, around midnight, we can have all the time we want," James said.  
  
"I think the book's called ' Animagi, Andrelina and how to kill.' All it has is the potion for Animagi, Andrelina and three spells and potions that can kill. Five potions, but the books at least 3,000 pages long," Remus told them.  
  
"Well since all three are against the Ministry of Magic, it should be way in the back," Peter pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, it might just take us two nights to find the book…" Sirius started, but then the room started to fill with the rest of the class.  
  
"Hello, Class, second period on a Monday, and you all just had potions, you must be in a pitiful mood," Professor McGonagol commented, seeing the glum faces.  
  
"Well, today won't be boring…Mr. Black what are you doing?" Professor McGonagol asked.  
  
Sirius was rolling bits of paper and trying to get them into the wastebasket next to McGonagol's desk.  
  
"Shooting baskets, professor," He said bluntly.  
  
"Please, pay attention, five points from Gryffindor. Anyway, I would like to see how many people can turn the salt shaker into a mouse. If you turn to page 336 in your book, you will find the procedure of the spell. When you are ready for the salt shaker, come and get one from my desk."  
  
Sirius, James, Peter and Remus got the salt shakers right away.  
  
"Look at this," Sirius cried, beckoning them closer. He pointed to a lump into his pocket.  
  
"What is that?" James asked.  
  
"I stole her plan book, I heard what was coming today, so I found a mouse in the dungeons, I can just say I did the transfiguration."  
  
"Sirius," Remus scowled. "That's not fair!"  
  
"Yeah! Why didn't you get us mice?" James asked.  
  
"Hey, I can't save every ones arse, just the important people," Sirius sighed. "Besides, you are all capable of the spell, I suck at Transfiguration."  
  
"No, you don't, you got a 276 on the last test," James pointed out. "And you didn't even study,"  
  
"Guys! Really I don't want to be the rain in this lovely parade, but hello! Don't you think McGonagol will notice?" Remus said.  
  
"How?" James and Sirius asked together.  
  
"Never mind, if you feel like a third detention, go for it." Remus said.  
  
"On the bright side," Sirius said. "I heard thirty-seven detentions in one week was the record, we're almost there!"  
  
"Yeah, but we're the ones who set that record in the first place," James pointed out.  
  
Remus sighed. He flipped to the spell and started trying the spell.  
  
Sirius grinned. Remus hadn't given him half the fuss he usually did.  
  
"Carpe Diem," Sirius shrugged, and hid the salt shaker, and switched it for the mouse. "Professor! I did it!" Sirius said.  
  
"So soon?" McGonagol said, astonished.  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm really talented," Sirius said.  
  
James snorted.  
  
"Well, since you did it so fast, could you show how you did it for the class?"  
  
Sirius gawked at her.  
  
"Why not?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, we'd all love to see how you did it," Remus said.  
  
"Oh shut up,''  
  
McGonagol left and Sirius turned quickly to Remus.  
  
"What do I do?" Sirius asked quickly.  
  
"How should I know?" Remus asked.  
  
"I don't know how to do this!"  
  
"You should of thought about that before hand," Remus said.  
  
"Yeah, but I didn't," Sirius told him.  
  
"Sirius, you're on your own,"  
  
"Fine," Sirius huffed. "But I'm not going to be an Animagi,"  
  
"SIRIUS!" Remus, James and Peter cried.  
  
"God, I'm kidding, I actually help my friends, no consideration and honestly I thought you were my friends, but apparently…"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, and kept on going on the transfiguration.  
  
Sirius tried to make the shaker into a mouse, before professor McGonagol made him show how stupid he was in front of the whole class.  
  
"Damn! Be a mouse! Not a freaking Rat!" Sirius told it quietly.  
  
"Mr. Black?" Professor McGonagol asked.  
  
"Yes?" Sirius asked quickly.  
  
"Show the class how you did the spell so quickly," McGonagol told him, smiling.  
  
"Yeah, okay, well, I… yeah you see…"  
  
The other three couldn't bear it.  
  
"What do we do?" Remus asked James.  
  
"Dunno, he's in deep."  
  
"And how," Peter agreed.  
  
"I guess we can cause a distraction," Remus suggested.  
  
"No, Sirius is the distraction master," James said.  
  
"We can...um…" Peter started.  
  
"You think we can do the spell from far away?" Remus asked.  
  
"Maybe!" James cried.  
  
"Let's try…"  
  
"And the flick of the um…wand…and… the uh…mouse…can I go to the bathroom?" Sirius asked.  
  
McGonagol looked at him sternly.  
  
"Just kidding?" Sirius wined.  
  
"Ready?" Remus asked.  
  
"All at once, three spells will be better than one," James said.  
  
"Two spells," Peter whispered.  
  
"What?" James asked  
  
"I cant do it, I'll mess it up," Peter said.  
  
Remus and James looked at him with pity.  
  
"You need more self confidence," Remus told him.  
  
Peter blushed.  
  
"Sorry,"  
  
"Its not something to apologize for… you just need to improve it." Remus told Peter.  
  
"Okay, but I really don't think I'd help if I tried to do the spell."  
  
"All right, one…" Remus started.  
  
"Two…"  
  
"Here I go!" Sirius smiled weakly at professor McGonagol.  
  
"THREE!"  
  
There was a small explosion, and all salt shakers in Hogwarts turned into mice.  
  
"What the hell, Black?" McGonagol asked.  
  
"I don't know how I did it McGonagol, Honest. I just…"  
  
"It takes at least three wizards to do what you just did! You must be a genius Mr. Black! Oh my god, I can't believe I actually said that."  
  
"Three wizards huh?" Sirius grinned at his friends. "Now how did that happen?"  
  
The rest of the class went by peacefully, or at least as peaceful as a class with the marauders gets.  
  
~*~  
  
When class was dismissed, Sirius ran out of the room, straight into the door of the Great Hall.  
  
"Lunch!" He cried, and threw his bag on the table.  
  
Remus calmly sat down next to him.  
  
"Hungry?" He asked.  
  
"Why wait? Grab a snickers," Sirius grinned.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never mind. You know some times I wish I had muggle born friends,"  
  
"Right, well I can't help you there," Remus said.  
  
James and Peter came walking to the table, followed with their other friends, Lily, Adam and that lot.  
  
"Can you believe it?" Lily asked sitting down.  
  
"Believe what?" James asked.  
  
"It's all ready time to study for the exams," Lily sighed.  
  
"Lily, it's three months away, even Remus isn't studying," Sirius exclaimed.  
  
"Actually, I have started a bit…"  
  
"No one cares," Sirius said patting him on the back.  
  
"Well, I don't care if you're not studying yet, I'm going to sneak out to the library tonight to get in some extra hours of studying,"  
  
James coughed out his juice.  
  
"Tonight?" He choked.  
  
"Yeah," Lily said.  
  
"But…what if you get caught?" James asked.  
  
"Oh come on, let Lily have a bit of fun tonight, studying wouldn't happen be the way I would do it, but to each there own right?" Sirius said, winking.  
  
"But…but…she might destroy her chances of being a prefect," James pointed out.  
  
"James, That's in two more years, and if I don't study tonight, I might fail the exam which will kill my chances even more," Lily told him.  
  
"Yeah, but, why tonight?" James asked.  
  
"Why not?" Lily said.  
  
"Because, you'd lose sleep and… you…uh…look horrible without your beauty sleep," James said.  
  
Lily gasped.  
  
"JAMES THAYER POTTER!" Lily screamed. "I NEVER KNEW YOU COULD BE SO INSENTSITIVE! YOU ARE A JERK! I HATE YOU AND I'M GOING TO STUDY WEITHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"  
  
She ran out of the room crying, while James sat there, and blinked.  
  
"What did I do?"  
  
The table looked at him.  
  
"Oh the whole beauty sleep thing! You idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" James said, hitting himself on the head.  
  
"Thayer?" Sirius choked. "Thayer? James Thayer Potter? J. Thayer Potter. Mr. James Thayer Potter. Oh! I got it! JAMES THAYER POTTER GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE! Oh this is fun!"  
  
"Shut-up, Sirius Frasier Black."  
  
Sirius stopped laughing immediately.  
  
"Why didn't you want Lily to study? It's not like it'll make a difference," Sirius said.  
  
"Are you brain dead?" James asked. "Lily and her friends would be at the library, late at night…in the restricted section."  
  
"So?" Sirius asked.  
  
"You really need a pulse, were getting the recipe for the potion tonight! We can't be loud at all! "  
  
"Which is impossible for you," Remus said.  
  
"That could be a problem, " Peter stated.  
  
Sirius sighed and started to fling peas at the wall.  
  
"I hate being quiet."  
  
"Really?" Remus asked sarcastically.  
  
"Should we tell Lily then?" Peter asked.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Speaking of class, even though we're not, five minutes till our next," James said. "Arithmancy, what you got?" James asked Sirius.  
  
"My favorite subject," Sirius said flinging his bag over his shoulder.  
  
"We just had lunch," Remus stated.  
  
"Not lunch, that's my second favorite subject, I got study hall," Sirius said happily. "I'm going to sleep."  
  
"How did Sirius manage…to get four study halls in a week? I have one." James stated.  
  
"I didn't sign up for half the crap you did," Sirius said.  
  
"Even Peter only has two study halls,'' Remus said.  
  
"Well, technically, I only have two study halls, but I wanted more so I went to Kettleburn and asked if I could switch to his other class, when I have a study hall. So I switched my study halls with Care of Magical Beasts, so I only have 2 CMB's but four study halls," Sirius said happily.  
  
"You're bad," James said.  
  
"Yup," Sirius agreed, grinning. "But, that plan didn't grow on a tree, I had to think about it."  
  
"I'm not even going to ask," James decided.  
  
"Good," he grinned, "Don't. I'll just go to my study hall I cheated out of Kettleburn, okay? Oh and, I'll try to convince Lily you were drunk when you called her ugly."  
  
"Gee, I'm overwhelmed with happiness," James answered sarcastically.  
  
"I knew you would be," Sirius said, picked up his bag and left for the common room.  
  
Remus stared at him while he left.  
  
"Is he ever not happy?" He asked. "I mean when he's mad, he get happy five seconds later with a plan of revenge, and when he's sad because he doesn't have something, he simply gets it. And if he's confused…he makes a joke out of it. How?"  
  
"You get him more then I do, Remus," James shrugged. "I'm just his best friend." 


	5. Night Prowlers

Chapter Five: Things that go Bump in the night  
  
This chapter may be a little off in the beginning, it used to be part of Chapter Four, but chapter four was thirty two pages long, so I decided to cut it in half. In this chapter, you guys meet a new character, who is somewhat like a character in a fanfic I read online, Female, Slytherin, likes the marauders. But other than that, she's original. Own, nothing, but now I own KAT! MWAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
  
  
On his way to study hall, Sirius passed a spare classroom. Giving it no thought, he went by it. But then…  
  
"There up to something," A cold, greasy voice came from the room.  
  
Sirius stood there, waiting for a reply.  
  
"Who?" Came a drawling voice.  
  
"Potter, you know the seeker for Gryffindor, and his friends, the beater, and that guy that commentates all the time," The first voice answered.  
  
"Are they the freaks that hang out with the fat kid?"  
  
"Yeah, Petigrew. Lucius, I don't know what the hell there up to, but its got to do with that Lupin kid."  
  
"Snape, who cares what a bunch of good arses do with there time?" Lucius asked.  
  
"I do," He answered. "There up to something, and its got to be wrong, knowing them. And they're trying to keep it secret and I'm going to find out what's so important. They're always sneaking into our business, and…hold on! Lupin's always missing form Potions every month or so…and every time his friends always take him aside and whisper to him. It's got something to do with Lupin being sick all the time. So just if I can find out why he's sick, blackmail them with that…maybe that'll be enough to get them to leave me alone…"  
  
"Snape, you've got a evil thinking mind on that head of yours. You're okay for a third year. But I don't give a shit about some other third years. Get your friends and talk to them about this, you know get someone who cares," Lucius stopped talking and Sirius heard footsteps.  
  
Uh-oh. Better get out of here. Sirius thought, and he dashed off to the common room.  
  
He's going to find out!" Sirius told himself, while walking back. This is perfect, Sirius groaned.  
  
Tell you're friends, Malfoy said. Great, more people to black mail Remus! Wait, we don't have to worry about that, he has no friends. But he'll still know. Well, what if we set it up so he thinks its one thing but really its another? Sirius said. He paused while reciting the password to the fat lady.  
  
He crawled through the tunnel and collapsed on the couch.  
  
We are in deep. But we need to follow through with the Animagi plans, its so important to Remus. But Snape! Urg! How annoying is this!  
  
Lily came down the dormitory stairs, books in hands, eyes still red from crying.  
  
"Hello, Sirius," Lily said.  
  
Sirius just kept on thinking, ignoring Lily.  
  
"Sirius…"  
  
Sirius sat there rubbing his temples.  
  
"Fine! You're just as bad as you're friend! How mush of a jerk are you?"  
  
"Wha? What?" Sirius shook out of his trance.  
  
"James!"  
  
"Oh…you were drunk! No, I mean he was drunk, I mean he was right…no wait wasn't right." Sirius said.  
  
"Are you all right? I was kind of hoping you were going to stick up for James, and make me not mad at him. But…you didn't." Lily asked, her green eyes concerned.  
  
" James didn't mean it, he just doesn't want you at the library tonight," Sirius said.  
  
"Yeah, I figured that out." She said bluntly. "Why?"  
  
" Well…we were going to…" He said. Think, Sirius, think, you're bombing! Bombing…bombs! Dung bomb! "Well, we planned it for the Slytherin's to go to the library, and when they were there, we were going to…blow it up with dung bombs, and blame it on them. He didn't want you to get caught…because…he likes you…I mean…um…"  
  
"He likes me?" Lily asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure who doesn't?"  
  
"No, I mean likes me, likes me, because I like him too! Oh that is so sweet!" Lily said, making her eye expand. "I'm going to wait for him to get out of class and give him a big kiss!" Lily said. Running out of the room, giggling.  
  
"I've created a monster," He sighed, smiling. Monster, Damn! Remus! God, how am I going to get rid of Snape. How could Remus of got bit by a werewolf? I thought he was the clever one. Sirius' mood, once again dropped, and he was stuck in his thoughts until Divination.  
  
"Great, just what I need, Divination to cheer me up,"  
  
Sirius picked up his bag, and started to walk the long walk to Divination.  
  
Half way there, Remus met him, smiling ear to ear.  
  
"What did you say to Lily? She's all over James!" Remus asked him.  
  
Sirius smiled.  
  
"I told her James likes her," Sirius said.  
  
"You did WHAT?" Remus asked.  
  
"I didn't mean too," Sirius said. "I was thinking and…"  
  
But Sirius was cut off but James coming in, grinning.  
  
"Whatever you did to change her mind, you are a genius." James waited for the normal, "I know" by Sirius, but it didn't come. Sirius was still raped in by Snape.  
  
"What's wrong?" James asked.  
  
"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"I asked first," James said, frowning.  
  
Sirius sighed.  
  
"Snape's on to us," Sirius said.  
  
"On to us how?" James asked.  
  
"He knows where up to something, and he knows it revolves around Remus being sick, and he's determined to black mail us with what ever it is." Sirius said.  
  
James and Remus starred at him.  
  
"What?" They asked in unison.  
  
Peter came in, out of breath.  
  
"There…you…are," He panted. "We're going to…be late if you don't get there soon," Peter said, holding a stitch in his side.  
  
"Hold on," James said. "How…why…what?"  
  
"I over heard him and Lucius talking," Sirius said.  
  
"Lucius knows too?" Remus asked.  
  
"He doesn't give a shit," said Sirius. "But Snape does, he'll do anything to find out why you're sick every month."  
  
"He's going to find out…" Remus said.  
  
"Not on my watch," Sirius said. "Look, I've been thinking, yeah I know, big surprise gasp, gasp. And I thought, what if Snape thinks he found out why you were gone, but really its another way. And when he goes and tells McGonagol or Dumbledore, or whoever he goes snitch to, they will he know he's wrong, and get mad at him for snooping, and trying to get you in trouble."  
  
James thought.  
  
"He wouldn't tell the teachers." James told Sirius.  
  
Sirius stood there, clearly thinking about it.  
  
"He would if he thought Remus was skipping classes! If we manage to get that idea into Snape's head… it'll all work out." Sirius said.  
  
"You're a genius, Sirius," James decided.  
  
'' I know," Sirius said, as James mouthed the words he knew his best friend was about to say.  
  
"You're too predictable," James said.  
  
"Yeah?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Predict this!" Sirius cried, pouncing on James.  
  
"Ow!" James said, trying to pull Sirius hair.  
  
"Hey! That's my…Hair!" Sirius cried, punching James gut.  
  
"Yeah well, That's my…gut!"  
  
Sirius and James were on the floor killing each other. Neither Sirius, nor James would give up.  
  
"Ah," Remus sighed. "The true mark of Friendship…WOH!" Remus cried as Sirius tackled Remus to the floor.  
  
Peter, afraid of getting hurt, squealed and ran to Divination.  
  
The three fought through Divination easily. And when the finally stopped. They lay on the hall floor, laughing their heads off.  
  
"Too bad Peter had to miss that," Remus said.  
  
"Yeah," James agreed.  
  
"Speaking of missing, we must be late for Divination," Remus said.  
  
"Late?" Sirius said, shocked. "Remus, we officially skipped."  
  
"Oh," Remus said, sitting up. "Well…what do we have next?"  
  
"Please, Remus don't tell me you care…" Sirius said.  
  
"Well, yes. I mean I don't want to skip two subjects at once."  
  
James looked at his watch.  
  
"We all have Charms in ten minutes." James said. "That gives us time to find Peter."  
  
"He's probably still at Divination, or at Charms early," Remus said.  
  
"Or back here to find us and drag us to Charms before we get in more trouble." Sirius said, pointing at Peter who just turned the corner.  
  
"You guys…look terrible!" Peter said. "James, who gave you the black eye?" Peter asked.  
  
"Those two," James said, pointing to Remus and Sirius.  
  
"Well, they didn't get hurt," Peter observed.  
  
Remus smiled and pointed to teeth bark on his arm.  
  
"Sirius." He said shortly.  
  
"Oh, well then…Sirius didn't get hurt!"  
  
Sirius gasped.  
  
"Not hurt?" Sirius asked, stunned. "Look at my hair! Tell me those aren't split ends!" Sirius cried.  
  
James rolled his eyes.  
  
"Call the ambulance," James said sarcastic.  
  
"Oh-shut up, you know I was kidding,"  
  
"Sometimes I wonder," Remus said.  
  
Sirius stuck his tongue out.  
  
~*~  
  
"So how was killing each other?" Peter asked on the way to Charms.  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"A blast, you should've been there."  
  
"I should've," Peter said. But I ran away. Why do I always have to be afraid? They're always so brave, so carefree. Why can't I just do one brave thing, just once. Maybe I was born a loser  
  
"How many minutes left till charm?" Remus asked.  
  
"I refuse to tell you," Sirius said. " You care too much about being late."  
  
"We've been through this all ready." Remus sighed. "I don't want to ditch to classes in a row."  
  
"That exactly the point, who cares about missing two classes?"  
  
"Me," Remus said coolly. "And you, my friend," pointing at Sirius. "Are a true Aries, stubborn and hot tempered."  
  
"How did'ya know I was an Aries?" Sirius asked, curiously.  
  
"Cuz you're birthday is April 11th…why are you shaking you're head James?" Remus asked, as James was shaking his head furiously and making gagging symbols.  
  
James groaned.  
  
"You reminded him!" James cried. "I was hoping he'd forget."  
  
"My birthday?" Sirius smirked. "All right, is it April all ready? What day is it?"  
  
Remus smiled. "I refuse to tell you," he said, mimicking Sirius.  
  
Sirius grinned and pushed Remus.  
  
"Don't get us fighting again," James said.  
  
Peter smiled. "Yes, let's not."  
  
"So…really what day is it?" Peter asked.  
  
"April 3…" Remus started.  
  
"Eight days! I haven't started bugging people yet!" Sirius said. Then he smiled.  
  
"James…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Eight days till my birthday."  
  
"Ha ha," James said dryly.  
  
"Yeah, but seriously, guess what?" Sirius said, looking dead serious.  
  
"What?" Remus asked.  
  
"Eight days to my birthday!" Sirius cried.  
  
All three groaned.  
  
"Sorry, but there really was something I wanted to say…" Sirius started.  
  
"Yeah, eight days to you're birthday, we know," James answered.  
  
"Er…I was going to say lets go to charms, but yeah that too," Sirius grinned.  
  
"You were not!" James cried!  
  
Sirius winked and started walking slowly to go to charms, followed by his three, groaning, friends.  
  
~*~  
  
"…And that's how you do the tickling charm. It's quite easy, I should of taught it to you last year…but last year I got caught in floating charms, which you should be learning now. But you see I thought you were ready for the floating charm but you weren't really so it took a while..." He rambled on for a while.  
  
"Does he ever shut-up?" Sirius whispered to James.  
  
"No, he's quite like you," James shot back.  
  
"Guys, shhh" Peter added nervously. "He'll hear you."  
  
"Yeah, then he'll kick you're arse," Remus said, looking over his desk.  
  
"Like he could reach," Sirius remarked.  
  
The four snorted.  
  
"…but then I thought maybe the dancing charm would be better…what was that?" Flitwick asked, looking around the room, and his eyes stopped at the four who were trying not to laugh. He sighed.  
  
"Well, I guess we should get started. Get into groups of two."  
  
Sirius raised his hand.  
  
"Mr. Black?" Flitwick said happily.  
  
"What if I can't stop Laughing and start turning blue, and then I begin to choke and hyperventilate, and end up keeling over and die?" Sirius asked.  
  
"If the charm gets out of hand simply say 'Finite Incantatem,'" Flitwick said.  
  
"Sirius remember that this time, we don't want to be flying across the room and getting detention again, do we? " James said.  
  
"No, Mum," Sirius teased.  
  
"I don't think I even want to ask," Remus said.  
  
"Oh!" Sirius shot his hand back up in the air.  
  
Flitwick sighed.  
  
"I'm afraid to ask, but what, Mr. Black?"  
  
"Did you know it was eight days till my birthday!" Sirius said.  
  
"Did you know…" James started. "That you're really annoying?"  
  
"Yup, I was aware of that, thanks buddy!" Sirius said, patting James on his back.  
  
James squinted his eyes in suspicion.  
  
"There better not be a kick me sign on the back of my robes when I take them off tonight." James warned Sirius.  
  
"Why would there be?" Sirius asked sweetly, giving his innocent look, but at the same time pulling a sign off James' back.  
  
"Nobody buys that look ever since the sprinkler incident, Sirius," Remus warned Sirius.  
  
"Hey! That was a bloody mistake! Who knew that there actually was water in sprinkler…"  
  
"Um… Mr. Black…and others. We're still in class," Professor Flitwick said. "And I, in fact knew there was water in that sprinkler."  
  
"Are you still mad at me about that? Er, did you get all the water out of you're fireplace yet?" Sirius asked.  
  
"In matter of fact, no…" Flitwick said. "But that's besides the point, we should be doing…oh fiddlesticks! What charm were we doing?"  
  
Remus opened his mouth to answer…but Sirius and James quickly put their hands over his mouth.  
  
"Gee…I don't remember either?" James answered.  
  
Remus looked disapprovingly, but none the less went along with the game.  
  
"Yeah, I just can't remember!"  
  
"I remember!" Peter shouted. "It was the…"  
  
"Shhhhh!" The whole Charms class cried.  
  
"He doesn't know what he's talking about, you know he was dropped a few many times when he was a baby," Sirius told Flitwick.  
  
Peter scowled.  
  
"That wasn't Mommy's fault, she had greasy fingers!"  
  
"I'll think of the charm, boys and girls…don't worry! Was it the… um… Floating charm? No, that's not right…Oh! It was the…no, they learn that in fifth year. Wait, aren't they fifth years? Oh and Lily Evans didn't make prefect… I'm sorry dear, you always said you wanted to be head girl."  
  
Lily sighed.  
  
"Professor, we're third years, and we were on the…oh Sirius he'd remember anyway…" Lily said, ignoring Sirius' dying motions in the corner. "We're on the tickling charm."  
  
"Oh! Yes! Now I remember!" Flitwick cried.  
  
"Some girlfriend you have," Sirius growled to James.  
  
"She's NOT my girlfriend!" James cried.  
  
"Yeah…sure…" Remus said, patting him on his shoulder.  
  
"She's not!" James protested.  
  
"Uh-huh," Sirius said. "Think that all you want."  
  
"But she's not!" James cried.  
  
"James…I need you're help on the tickling charm," Lily said, across the room.  
  
Sirius and Remus grinned as James walked grouchily to Lily.  
  
~*~  
  
"Do we have to go tonight?" James asked the three at dinner.  
  
"Why wouldn't we? You were the one who wanted to go tonight in the first place."  
  
"I was?" James asked. "Good, that means I can rescheduel-" James stopped mid-sentence. It wasn't that James didn't want to help Remus, he really did… it was just that Lily had asked him to help her study late at night, very late at night, midnight at night… that's besides the point! James told himself. Friends are more important then girls! Even if the girl happens to be Lily Evans…who is extremely pretty, with green glowing eyes, and red flowing thick hair, and a smile that can… James melted into a dopey smile.  
  
"Oh, Remus. James has got that smile again." Peter whined.  
  
"The gross one… the one that looks like he just wet himself?" Sirius asked, helpfully.  
  
"That's graphic, Sirius." Remus told him.  
  
"I know." Sirius grinned. (I can never get enough of his grin)  
  
"Why does he look so…dopey?" Peter asked.  
  
"It's love," Answered Remus.  
  
"Love? You mean James likes wetting himself-"  
  
"No you prat…he loves Lily." Sirius shot at Peter.  
  
"Oh," Peter blushed. "I should've known."  
  
"Love sucks…" Sirius explained. "Really, what are girls good for but making out with, sure that's fun enough… but other than that, Love just messes up friends."  
  
"Sirius, grow-up." James said, shaking off his smile. "Girls are not just for making-out with."  
  
"Sure there not, there also for se-"  
  
"Sirius!" Remus cried.  
  
"I was going to say second rate cleaning jobs, honestly, who do you take me for?"  
  
"You." The two answered bluntly.  
  
"Good point," Sirius agreed. "I am me, but sometimes, I'm someone else."  
  
"And when would this be?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well…when…" Sirius stopped talking and thought for a while. "When I'm not me, I'm never me."  
  
"Thanks for clearing that up." Remus told Sirius.  
  
"Speaking of me… it's my birthday in eight days."  
  
"We know Sirius." Remus told Sirius.  
  
"Yes, but do you know what I want for my birthday?"  
  
"That's an easy question, anything we can get our hands on that's illegal." Remus said.  
  
"Well yes… but… well…" Sirius started.  
  
Remus turned to James.  
  
"Do you really not want to go to the library tonight?"  
  
James blushed.  
  
"Well…" James didn't know what to do. It was either Lily, or them. Lily…she was so pretty, and popular. It was amazing that she would ever want to study with him. Oh, and imagine… Lily Evans, going out with me.  
  
James sighed, guessing his mind was made up. He looked up to Remus. But Remus, he looked so tired, so washed out. Depressed almost. Remus' hazel eyes were wide, as if they were almost pleading for James to say, "I'll go tonight."  
  
James was just torn between the two. Who was more important? Who would suffer more without him?  
  
James smiled.  
  
"I'll go tonight."  
  
Remus smiled.  
  
"Thanks James… you did the right thing."  
  
"Yeah, Yeah. I'm sure he did." Sirius said impatiently. "Now all three of you better be ready to wake up at midnight…"  
  
"Right, so what if Lily will be there at that time…" James answered.  
  
Sirius groaned.  
  
"I thought we got rid of her."  
  
"No, she's going to study tonight…"  
  
"And Snape's still suspicious of us." Remus pointed out.  
  
"Oh my god," Sirius mumbled. "We got big problems."  
  
Remus sighed.  
  
"It would be better if you guys just don't become animagi, it will be a lot less risky." Remus pointed out.  
  
"I agree." Peter said, nodding his head.  
  
"No!" James yelled, and turned to Remus. "You are our best friend, we are going to make your misery less painful."  
  
"And nothing will stand in our way!" Sirius added. "I'll take care of Snape."  
  
"How, Sirius?" Remus asked, hoping what Sirius would say wasn't too illegal.  
  
"Just trust me." Sirius nodded, raising his wand. "I can keep Snape away from us."  
  
"Oh, no you don't." James said.  
  
"That would just make him more suspicious." Remus warned Sirius.  
  
"But… what else can we do?"  
  
"Well if you look at it logically, why would Snape go to the library anyway? He may be suspicious, but nothing from my knowledge would ever provoke him to go to the library." Remus pointed out.  
  
"Like he knows what the library is, that prat." Sirius added.  
  
"You're right, Remus," James said. "Besides, who are we to say we're marauders, if we don't take any risks in life."  
  
"But… if he finds out…" Peter started.  
  
"Shh." James whispered harshly. "Slytherin." James pointed at a girl with red hair who was looking strait at the four.  
  
"Did she hear us?" Peter whispered.  
  
"I doubt it." Remus told Peter.  
  
"Well, that Slytherin just made this even more complicated." Sirius grumbled.  
  
"She might off not heard us. Does anyone know who that is anyway?" Remus asked.  
  
"No idea," Sirius hissed. "Don't think I've ever dated her."  
  
"Why would she even care why we were going to become animagi? Even if she did know."  
  
"Right… well just in case we should drop it. Tonight, midnight." Remus said.  
  
The others nodded, and went on to eating they're dinner, animagi free.  
  
~*~  
  
"And don't forget our…thing we have to do." James reminded Remus, as he stated he was going to bed.  
  
"Don't worry." Sirius drawled, looking up from the daily crossword puzzle. "None of us is going to forget."  
  
"I just want this to go perfectly. No faults."  
  
"Relax, James. Honestly, you're starting to sound like Peter." Sirius told James, stretching out on the couch.  
  
"Did you handle Lily, James?" Remus asked.  
  
"Yeah, mind you it wasn't easy." James said frowning. "She really wanted to study tonight…"  
  
"The way she's putting it, it sounds like studying is important."  
  
"It is, Sirius." Remus told Sirius.  
  
"I thought you were going to bed." Sirius scowled.  
  
"I'm going… wake me up when we're leaving."  
  
James nodded.  
  
"Good night, Rem. If Peter's still awake remind him about tonight."  
  
"Of course." Remus smiled. "But it's highly unlikely he forgot, he's really nervous that we're going to get caught."  
  
"Right, we do have our detentions in three days…"  
  
"You're counting down?" Sirius asked disgusted.  
  
"Well… yes…" James blushed.  
  
"Right… well I'm actually going to bed," Remus sighed, picking up his books.  
  
"Good night." The two called after Remus, as he climbed the spiral stairs.  
  
"This is going to be so fun!" Sirius cried.  
  
"I guess, We should probably go to sleep…"  
  
"But I'm not bloody tired! Not yet anyway."  
  
"Yes, but when we have to wake you up at midnight, you'll be especially exhausted."  
  
"Fine." Grumbled Sirius. "Just one question before we go to sleep."  
  
"What?"  
  
"How the hell did you get rid of Lily, I mean she's as stubborn as an ass… ass as in a donkey of course." Sirius said with a grin.  
  
"I told her I was busy tonight, and there was no way I could go study tonight… which is true." James told Sirius. "And I said…if she waited till tomorrow to study, I would not only help her study but give her a surprise." James grinned.  
  
"What's the surprise?"  
  
"Surprise, Sirius, does this word mean anything to you."  
  
"Oh fine… hey, eight days till my birthday."  
  
"I know…" James groaned.  
  
"Keep in mind gifts… money, girls, very sharp objects, preferably knives, motorcycle… what ever you feel fit."  
  
"Mm-M, Sure Sirius."  
  
~*~  
  
"Wake up," James quietly whispered into Peter's ear. Remus was already wake, standing next to James, very calmly.  
  
Peter squinted open his eyes.  
  
"Why hello, James." Peter mumbled. "You look very…awake."  
  
"Thanks." James told him dryly. "Now, get up so we can go to the library."  
  
"Library? Wh-" Peters eyes grew huge. "Oh!" He quickly popped out of bed, revealing blue cowboy pajamas.  
  
"Nice pj's Peter," James commented.  
  
Peter blushed.  
  
"Mummy bought them for me, I have to wear them."  
  
"Sure, Peter."  
  
Peter looked around.  
  
"Where's Sirius?"  
  
"Dunno… he's not in his bed."  
  
"Maybe he got a drink of water." Remus pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, let's hope."  
  
Just then, the three heard a door creak, exposing light into the room.  
  
There was Sirius, standing in the doorway, grinning.  
  
Not only was he grinning, but he was wearing all black, tight black leather pants, a black shirt, gloves, and a black mask, the only skin showing was his nose, mouth, and eyes, but to be fair even his eyes were covered by sunglasses.  
  
"I wasn't aware we were robbing a bank." Remus said coolly.  
  
"Yeah, what's up with the fugitive look?" James asked, raising a brow.  
  
"So we wont be seen," Sirius said, as if it was obvious.  
  
"Sirius…what do you think the invisibility cloak's for?"  
  
"This is just in case we forget the invisibility cloak!"  
  
"Ok, do what you want." James told Sirius.  
  
"I will, you guys ready?" Sirius asked the three.  
  
They all nodded, and left quietly, not waking Adam, or anyone else.  
  
~*~  
  
"Peter! Ow! Watch you're damn foot!" Sirius cried, rubbing his toe.  
  
"Sorry, I couldn't see." Peter said.  
  
"Yeah, well it hurt." Sirius whined, and then punched Peter.  
  
"Agh!"  
  
"That's what you deserve," Sirius said grouchily. "For making me not able to feel my big toe… it's probably purple. I hate purple."  
  
"Just shut-up, both of you." James said. "Let's just concentrate on getting to the library. There you can be as loud as you want."  
  
"Well, actually to be fair," Remus pointed out. "As loud as you want for Sirius is loud enough for anyone in a three hundred mile radius to hear."  
  
"Thank you Remus." Sirius said. "I didn't know you cared."  
  
"He doesn't."  
  
"Yes he does, tell him Remus…you care…"  
  
All of a sudden there was a loud crash, and it sounded as though millions of plates had fallen, and broke.  
  
"What was that?" Remus asked quickly.  
  
Peter looked around nervously.  
  
"It's a werewolf." Peter whined.  
  
Remus looked at Peter, raising his eyebrows.  
  
"Ahem?" Remus asked, amused.  
  
"Oh, yeah. You're a werewolf, aren't you?" Peter asked, blushing.  
  
"What was that crash?" James asked.  
  
"Peeves right?" Peter asked nervously.  
  
"Yeah… it was Peeves." Sirius agreed.  
  
"Even if it wasn't him, whoever it is can't see us, right?"  
  
"Right." James agreed. "Come on, let's get to the library."  
  
~*~  
  
"What was it called again Remus?" Sirius asked, taking a dusty book off the shelf.  
  
"Don't open that!" Remus cried, as Peter was about to open a book called, "Bunnies."  
  
"Oh, come on." Peter said. "It's called Bunnies. How bad can it be?"  
  
Remus stared at Peter, and pointed at the back of the book, where there was a sticker that Madam Pince had put on the book, it read.  
  
  
  
Beware, if you are even looking at the cover of the book, I hope you are a adult, with all the wizarding training you can get. DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK WITH OUT GROALEK GLASSES! If you do so, all the evil things on earth will track you down and kill you.  
  
Have a nice day!  
  
"Well, then." Sirius said. "Go on Peter, open it."  
  
Peter looked at Sirius, disgusted.  
  
"Does it matter that I touched it? Am I going to die! I'm too young to die! It's not fair!"  
  
"Calm down, Peter." James whispered. "And shut-up, someone will hear you."  
  
"Just find the bloody book, and get out of here." Sirius added.  
  
"Right… it's Animagi, Andrelina and how to kill. Remember that."  
  
"It's supposed to be thick right?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Thicker than you're skull."  
  
"Can we take the invisibility cloak off?" Peter whined. "I'm getting hot."  
  
"I don't know…" Remus started.  
  
"No one is going to be here, Remus." James pointed out.  
  
"True," Sirius said. "We can take it off for a little while."  
  
"All right," Remus sighed, and pulled off the heavy sliver liquid like cloak, leaving it sprawled carelessly on the floor.  
  
"I can breathe!" Peter cried, huffing frantically.  
  
"Not to loud, mind you," James grinned.  
  
"Oh, come on, who's going to hear us?" Sirius protested, yet still whispered. He knew James was right, they really shouldn't risk getting caught, but it was so unlikely of Sirius to be safe.  
  
"Lot's of people could hear us… Mrs. Norris for one." Remus said.  
  
"Good point," Sirius shrugged.  
  
"It's really dark…" Peter complained.  
  
"First cold, now dark? Do you like complaining?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I don't like the dark," Peter admitted, lowering his head.  
  
Sirius opened his mouth, about to insult Peter, but he couldn't get a word in, because Remus quickly put his hand over his mouth.  
  
"Whaffgh Aghgs Yiudgd Doihfgd?" Sirius tried to say, his blue eyes looking cross.  
  
"Shhh…" Remus warned.  
  
"Hihahf hadfkjd rtghoih torhpgs sjhgg" Sirius tried to blurt out.  
  
"Excuse me?" James asked.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes, and pried off Remus' hand.  
  
"I said, I have nothing to say."  
  
"Shh, just the same." Remus said, wiping his hand with Sirius slobber on his robes.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, it's probably to late now… but I saw something." ( I just want to add now… I'm at fifty pages! Party)  
  
"What? Remus, it's pitch dark, how could you see anything?" James said.  
  
"I have to be able to see in the dark every once in a month, if you know what I mean, my eyes easily adjust to the dark. Seriously, I saw something though."  
  
"Human?" Peter asked, shivering.  
  
"I don't know…"  
  
" Bloody hell, no one should be here after dark. Don't they know it's against the rules?" Sirius asked. "Honestly, some people are so oblivious to rules."  
  
James grinned, and muttered something that oddly sounded like hypocrite.  
  
"If someone was listening, they'll know… everything." Remus growled, grabbing his hair, and yanking it.  
  
"Don't do that," James said, pulling Remus' hand away from his hair. "You'll go bald."  
  
Remus sat down on the floor, in between the many shelves of books, and grabbed his knees for comfort.  
  
"If anyone fines out… I'll be ruined." He spat out. The three read Remus' look of worry and quickly looked at each other, lost for words.  
  
"Are you sure you saw someone?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I think I saw someone." Remus said.  
  
"Well… we knew that you're a werewolf, and were still you're friend, if that's what you're worried about." Peter told Remus.  
  
"But, most people aren't like you guys. I know how most people are, there afraid of me. Why do you think I never told you? Just because I wanted to keep it from you for kicks? I hated lying to you guys, but I thought if you found out, you would never be my friends again, and with good reason. Everyone I knew, as soon as they found out I was a werewolf, they would either tell a million other people, start to be horrible to me, or try to kill me. You're the first actually trying to help me."  
  
"Of course we're helping you." Sirius said, sitting down next to Remus. "It doesn't matter what you are, it's who you are that counts."  
  
Remus smiled.  
  
"Hopefully that's what whoever is here thinks too…"  
  
"If there is anyone at all, it could've been Peeves, remember." James reminded Remus.  
  
Remus nodded, and stood up, wiping the dust off his pant legs.  
  
"Let's find the book, shall we?"  
  
"Right… you check those shelves, Peter… Remus look over there, and James… way in the back. Remember, don't open any books."  
  
So the four went in different directions.  
  
"Any luck?" James whispered, thirty minutes later.  
  
"No." Sirius hissed back. But I found lots of curse books… I'm dying to open them."  
  
"Don't," Remus put in. "Just search."  
  
"It would be a lot easier if I could read the titles, so many of them are written in black…" Peter stated.  
  
"Use your wand, nimrod." Sirius said, picking up a blood red book. "Mmm, 'how to cook poison that can kill even the darkest wizards in fifty minutes or less'"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"Remind me to never take a drink from Sirius."  
  
"How do you spell Animagi?" Peter asked.  
  
"Why does it matter."  
  
"Because… I think I found it, but it's either A-n-e-m-a-g-i, Andrelina, and how to kill, or a-n-i-m-a-g-I, Andrelina, how to kill."  
  
The three rushed over to Peter quickly. Peter showed them a black velvet book, labeled Animagi, Andrelina, how to kill. And the other, Sea blue, made out of hard, painted wood.  
  
"The velvet one." Sirius remarked. "That's how you spell Animagi."  
  
"Don't open it yet, let me inspect it…" James decided, and took the book from Peter. He ran his fingers over the soft velvet book, to see if there was any movement, to see if anything living was inside. He faintly heard screaming, and laughing… but it must off his imagination. He lifted the book up to his nose, to sniff. He shrugged, it smelt normal, he turned it over to see the back… any notes from Madam Pince? No… it was all normal enough, except for that scream…  
  
"Seems fine, we found it… Animagi, Andrelina, how to kill… let's open it up…"  
  
"WAIT!" Remus cried. "Did you say Animagi, Andrella, how to kill?" Remus asked hoarsely.  
  
"Yeah… why?"  
  
Remus turned pale.  
  
"Don't open that book, James. Put it down now… and step away from it."  
  
"Step away from the book." Sirius chirped in, but saw Remus' stone face, and frowned.  
  
"W-why?" James asked, but none the less, dropped the book, and took a few steps backwards.  
  
"That book was made by dementors, the second you open it… it sucks out your sole. Sometimes, the spirits inside get inpatient, and take the soul before it opens the book."  
  
"Oh." James stated, then his eyes rolled back into his head, and he fainted.  
  
~*~  
  
"Did the book take him in? Did it eat his soul" A voice asked nervously.  
  
"He's fine…" Another voice stated. "He is fine right?"  
  
"Yes…" A softer voice stated. "But we should get him to his bed…"  
  
"Right now?" The second voice asked. "But… Remus, we didn't get the book."  
  
James made himself open his eyes, as his blurry vision showed three bodies huddled near him, who these bodies belonged too, he couldn't make out yet. He could have sworn he saw another body… but maybe it was his vision.  
  
"Where am I?" James asked.  
  
"Oh… the book took his soul!" The first voice squeaked.  
  
"Peter?" James asked. " Is 'at you?"  
  
Peter gasped.  
  
"You remember me!"  
  
"'Course I do… Remus do I still have my soul?" James asked.  
  
Remus smiled wryly.  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"God, Remus, lucky you're so interested in Defense Against the Dark Arts, to actually read about Dementors… otherwise James would be…" Sirius turned pale. "Dead." And with that word jumped to hug Remus. Then he realized what he was doing, and quickly backed away.  
  
"Sorry," he muttered. "I'm tired."  
  
"I could've just died?" James asked.  
  
"No."  
  
James let out a sigh of relief. Remus would've gone on about what really would have happened, which was far worse than death, but he decided not to worry him.  
  
Remus searched his pockets, and handed James some chocolate.  
  
"Here… it's good."  
  
James looked up at Remus.  
  
"You didn't poison it, did you?"  
  
Remus grinned.  
  
"Honestly… just because that one time…"  
  
James laughed, and took the chocolate.  
  
Sirius pouted.  
  
"Oh, come on. Just because the man faced death for the first time doesn't mean he should get chocolate… now give me some." Sirius cried, sitting next to James.  
  
James broke off a piece, and handed it to Sirius.  
  
Peter's eyes lit up, and he bashfully, asked for a piece too.  
  
Soon, all four had a piece of chocolate, and they sprawled out on the Libraries floor, silently eating their chocolate.  
  
"So, was the wood book the book we wanted?" Sirius asked, breaking the silence  
  
Remus shook his head.  
  
"Neither were… both were traps."  
  
"So we still haven't found the book yet?" James asked.  
  
"No… but you my friend, need sleep." Remus stated. "You just faced dementors… and that can be tiring."  
  
"Oh, I didn't face them…" James said.  
  
"You touched the book, didn't you?" Remus asked.  
  
"So did Peter…"  
  
"And he needs sleep too… come on, it's dangerous to roam around the restricted area alone… maybe we can get a note, so we can ask Madam Pince for help."  
  
Sirius snorted.  
  
"Like any teacher will sign a note allowing me to go into the restricted section."  
  
"We'll figure that out later, without a doubt… now come on, get the cloak and…"  
  
James eyes bulged.  
  
"Cloak?" He asked. "Damn, Remus… where is it?"  
  
"You don't know where it is?" Peter spoke at last.  
  
"No…" James groaned.  
  
"We'll find it…" Sirius promised.  
  
"We better…"  
  
"We left it near the bunny book…" Remus stated.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Peter cried. "That was over there!" He pointed to the other side of the room.  
  
The quickly ran there, and found the bunny book laying on the floor… but no cloak.  
  
"No!" James moaned. "This CAN'T be good…"  
  
"That thing I saw must of took it."  
  
"Jumping to conclusions, Remus?" Sirius asked.  
  
"There's nothing else here."  
  
"Guys… you don't understand… if my dad knew I lost the only Potter Heirloom…" James let out a whine.  
  
Sirius grimaced.  
  
"That was your dads once? Oh, he's gonna kill you! Remember that time you took his pen…"  
  
"That was you, Sirius." Remus answered.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Remus… go look over there, would you…" James said, pointing to a spiral staircase that led to dark corridor of the library, with lots of tables, and pictures of old warlocks.  
  
"We weren't there ever." Remus told James.  
  
"Peeves might of taken the cloak and dropped it off some where… just check would you. Sirius, you look where I was searching for the book… and Peter, you look over there, while I'll see if it's just… behind the shelf…"  
  
Remus walked into the corridor, as a chill ran down his spine. He hated this part of the library, it always seemed to be colder there than anywhere else in the library, and the fact that lights never seemed to light near the corridor was a bit spooky too. Only Slytherin's ever went over there, it was their domain, almost. Many say that the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets was in there. Remus tried to avoid it, just because Slytherins could be so territorial… but Sirius and James always liked to annoy the Slytherins by climbing the staircase.  
  
Remus hazel eyes scanned the corridor for silver, but there was none yet. He took a step deeper into the room, with difficulty mind you, as in there were so many tables, that he had to turn, and swerve to get anywhere. The question came to Remus, on how the Slytherins ever got anywhere, they were a deal bigger than Remus, and he could hardly fit through some of the cracks between tables, when…  
  
"DAMN IT!" Cried a voice, quite unfamiliar to Remus. It was too high for Sirius', yet had to much snap for Peter… no it was no one he knew.  
  
"Who's there?" Remus hissed, turning around.  
  
"You'll never find out will you?" Came the voice again.  
  
"Guys!" Remus screamed.  
  
"Oh, that's it… call for your friends."  
  
"I tell them everything." Remus said bitterly.  
  
"Even about bitches who steal your cloak? ."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"The cloak isn't my cloak…"  
  
The was a bang, and Sirius ran in, holding his foot in pain.  
  
"What, Remus…" Sirius cried, massaging his foot.  
  
"Some one's here…" Remus told him.  
  
"Who?" Sirius asked.  
  
"You think I know?" Remus snapped.  
  
"I'm here," The voice returned.  
  
"Congrats." Sirius snapped.  
  
"I have the cloak? Do you want it?"  
  
"Oh, no. We're perfectly happy without it… give it to me!"  
  
Loud footsteps came, and James appeared.  
  
"I'm here, Remus. What?"  
  
"There's someone here, she's keeping you cloak hostage."  
  
"And with a ransom…" The voice replied.  
  
"What do you want?" James asked, suspiciously.  
  
"To help."  
  
"Help with what?" Sirius hissed.  
  
"Y-" The voice was interrupted by Peter's voice.  
  
"Guys… do I have to come up. That place gives me the creeps…" Peter called, from the bottom of the stairs.  
  
"No… stay there." Remus stated.  
  
"Continue," James nodded.  
  
"I want to help you guys… with the potion."  
  
The three went white.  
  
"You… you know?" James asked.  
  
"Well, I was here all night. You heard me crash, and Lupin here saw me."  
  
"So… you know about me?" Remus whispered.  
  
"Yes," the voice became softer. "But, I won't tell anyone. I told you, I want to help."  
  
"Why?" Sirius spat.  
  
"I may be a Slytherin, but I do have a heart."  
  
Sirius stared coldly at the air.  
  
"Yes, we really believe that."  
  
"Ok, so I don't have a heart." The voice replied. "But, my father, he was a werewolf, and was killed because of it. I feel oddly connected to werewolves. I want in."  
  
"How are we to know we can trust you?" James asked.  
  
"We don't even know who you are…" Remus said.  
  
"Want me to take of the cloak?"  
  
"That would be a nice gesture." Sirius said, nodding.  
  
"Fine, here."  
  
The cloak was shed, and it drifted to the floor. James snatched the cloak quickly, and looked around trying to see the body that belonged to the voice.  
  
"I'm up here." The voice came from above.  
  
The three looked up to see a girl around thirteen balanced on the top of a shelf.  
  
It was the Slytherin they had seen before, listening. She still had her bouncy red hair, and her eyes were still swirling with different shades of gray. She was extremely skinny, and wore a tight black, short, dress, which gave the effect that she was a bit of a flirt. She also wore her blood red lips in a quite evil smile.  
  
"Hi." She stated, waving her hand, her dangle bracelets chiming.  
  
"Salutations." Remus said dryly.  
  
"Oh, why do you hate me?" She asked.  
  
"Let's think… because you stole my cloak."  
  
"Lighten up, I gave it back… what are your guys' names anyway?" She asked. "I've seen you two on the quidditch field, and you commentate, don't you? But I never caught your names."  
  
"And we never caught yours." Remus stated.  
  
The girl grinned.  
  
"I'm Kat. Just Kat, nothing else."  
  
"Kat… what an weird name." Sirius said rolling his eyes.  
  
"Oh yeah? What's yours?" Kat hissed.  
  
"Mines normal… it's Sirius Black." He growled at her.  
  
"You're Sirius Black? God every girl in our dorm has the hots for you… Sirius…" Kat shook her head. "And you say I'm the one with the weird name. So, who are your friends…"  
  
"James." James said, squinting his eyes. "James Potter."  
  
Kat smiled.  
  
"James Potter. Oh you wouldn't guess the things Slytherin's say about you… is it true you used to be a girl?"  
  
Sirius bursted out laughing, as James turned beat red.  
  
"No, you?" James spat.  
  
"I am a girl, if you haven't noticed." Kat stated sourly.  
  
"We hadn't." Remus said. "I'm Remus Lupin… you look familiar Kat, what's your last name?"  
  
"I told you… its Kat, just Kat."  
  
"It can't be just Kat…" James stated.  
  
"Yes it can." Kat said back. "And it is."  
  
"That's nice, Kat. Look we have to go… James isn't feeling well…" Remus stated.  
  
"I'm not? Oh… right… yeah… I feel like barfing right now…"  
  
"So, we'll be going…"  
  
"Without the book?" Kat said, a mad glint coming in her eyes.  
  
"What book?" Sirius asked quickly.  
  
Kat reached her hand into the front of her dress, and came out with a small, thick, thick leather book, labeled Animagi, Andrelina, and how to kill.  
  
"Where did you get that?" Remus asked softly.  
  
"The return cart… Gevine took it out…" Kat looked inside the book. "Four days ago." Kat finished  
  
Sirius banged his head on the nearest table.  
  
"The return cart… how brain dead are we…"  
  
Kat opened her mouth the answer but Sirius broke in…  
  
"I don't need a Slytherin's prospective."  
  
"Don't need it but you're getting it: You're really brain dead."  
  
"Oh, didn't see that one coming." Sirius said, sarcastically.  
  
"Duh, of course you cant see… you're brain dead, remember?"  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"Too right you are." James sighed.  
  
"Here's the book…" Kat said, dropping the book. "Take it…"  
  
Remus looked up at Kat.  
  
"Why are you giving us this?"  
  
"I told you, I want to help."  
  
Remus stood there, and looked at his friends.  
  
"Should we trust her?" James mouthed to Remus and Sirius.  
  
Sirius shrugged, as Remus stood still.  
  
There was something so familiar about this girl, she had seen her before. Where though? Kat… Kat… the name also sounded extremely familiar. Then it hit him.  
  
"Kitty-Kat Talak?" Remus whispered. "Talak." He said loudly. "That's your last name. Holy crap… Kitty-Kat you never told me you were a witch."  
  
Kat shrugged.  
  
"You needed telling? Come on, my father was a werewolf, what did you think I was, a muggle?" Kat asked rolling her eyes.  
  
Remus turned to his best friends.  
  
"We can trust her. I knew Kat ever since I was bitten. Her father was bitten the same day as me. Kat and I met at the hospital, when the doctor tried to cure her father. She was crying, and so was I. We looked at each other oddly, laughed at each other, than came to comfort each other. We told each other everything. I was so scared that I was going to have no friends, and Kat told me…"  
  
"I will always be your friend… I will always be there for you." Kat finished.  
  
"It's you." Remus said, lost for words.  
  
Kat nodded.  
  
"Yeah, it's me. So can I help or what?"  
  
Remus looked at his friends.  
  
"We can trust her, I promise."  
  
Sirius looked at Remus strangely.  
  
"I guess she can help, I suppose. But do you want to become an Animagi too?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Only if I'm welcome to." Kat stated.  
  
"That's a good answer," James smiled. "You're welcome to. Any friend of Remus is a friend of ours."  
  
"Goodie." Kat clapped her hands. "Right, let's meet six nights from now? In the girls bathroom?"  
  
"Erm, the girls bathroom?" Remus asked uneasily.  
  
"The out of order one…" Kat said.  
  
"Fine, we'll be there." James said.  
  
"Are you guys done?" Came Peter's voice.  
  
"Yeah, Peter, we're coming down." Sirius called back.  
  
"Who is that Peter guy anyway?" Kat asked.  
  
"Our other best friend." James said shortly.  
  
Kat shook her head.  
  
"I don't trust him."  
  
"And he won't trust you." Remus assured Kat. "Come on, let's walk back."  
  
The four met Peter at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
Peter looked at Kat in amazement for a while, then finally asked…  
  
"Who's that?"  
  
Remus smiled, and explained everything about Kat, the new marauder. 


	6. A date with Blast ended Screwts

Chapter Six: A Date with a blast Ended Screwt  
  
Own nothing. Oh… wait, I own Kat, and Morgan and those people.  
  
The sun shone in the windows of the Boys dorm, the birds chirped freely, and four boys were still in their beds, sleeping silently.  
  
The clock showed it was eight o'clock, the normal time for Care of Magical Creatures to start. But the four would not be attending CMC today, no, not even Remus.  
  
After the nights adventure, the four quickly went to there beds, but none went to sleep. They all were too amazed on what had happened to even let their eyes close for a split second, except when they blink of course, but even that was a rare occasion  
  
Remus couldn't believe he had found his child hood best friend, and at Hogwarts of all places. He was amazed that she was still, well, Kat, her snappy but none the less chipper self. And it was even more amazing that Kat was still as loyal to Remus as ever, and with Kat in his group of friends, Remus knew that he could pull of the Animagi potion.  
  
James, was caught in how much he trusted Kat already. Here she was, a skimpy looking Slytherin, who had taken his cloak, and insulted him… yet he trusted her just as much as he trusted Sirius, Peter or Remus. He trusted Kat with his life. That was a little unnerving that someone could have that power over him in such a little time. He had already let Kat borrow James' cloak, a thing he never let Sirius or Peter do. Sirius would steal it, (yes he would get it back ieventuallyi but still…) and Peter would lose it. But he knew he would get the cloak back from Kat.  
  
Sirius, was thinking of, how all the Slytherin girls thought of him as sexy. Now, that was good. He was openly single… and now that he knew the Slytherin's liked him… he had more choices of girls to make out with, smashing.  
  
Peter, he didn't trust Kat. She knew too much already, earned everyone's trust so easily. She just came barging in on their lives, and already was named a marauder. It didn't seem right, Peter had worked so hard to earn his friends trust, and Kat knew the three for less than a day, and already kept more trust than Peter had ever known. He didn't like Kat. No not at all.  
  
~*~  
  
"Rise and Shine!" Came the voice of Kat, shaking Sirius.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" James asked.  
  
Kat looked at him.  
  
"Waking up Sirius." She said shortly.  
  
"It's the iboysi dormitory… you cant be in here." James said hoarsely.  
  
"Looks like I am," Kat said.  
  
"Kat," Remus said, sitting up in his bed. "You're a Slytherin, how did you get in here in the first place?"  
  
"James gave me his cloak… and I just waited for a Gryffindor to come in, I heard the password, repeated it… and here I am. Waking you guys up." With this, Kat slapped Sirius. "Wake up, you bastard."  
  
James shook his head, to amused to tell Kat what Sirius does to people that wake him up.  
  
"Why are you here?" Remus asked, opening his chest to get his robes.  
  
"To wake you up before Potions, you have it next. Obviously you skipped CMC to sleep, I skipped History to read, but I didn't think you needed to skip potions, which I have with you. So, I've decided to escort you."  
  
"How thoughtful," James said, grabbing his robes from his night stand table.  
  
Kat slapped Sirius again.  
  
"Up, you brute!" Kat cried, trying to push Sirius' out of bed.  
  
"Go to Peter, Sirius will eventually wake up."  
  
Kat shrugged, and moved to Peter's bed. She simply picked him up and walked him to the bathroom. There, she softly lay him on the floor, while turning the tab to the bath on. She let it fill for a minute or two, (with help from her wand).  
  
She picked Peter up a second time, and dropped him in the ice cold water.  
  
Peter let out a high pitch scream, and quickly jumped out of the water, running out of the bathroom, and quickly springing under his covers for warmth.  
  
"That was cruel…" Remus pointed out.  
  
"She must be as strong as an Ox! She can pick up Peter!" James cried, amazed.  
  
"I'm stronger than an ox," Kat stated. "Now, let me wake up Black."  
  
But when Kat, and the three got to Sirius' bed, it was empty.  
  
"Where did he go?" Kat asked.  
  
"No idea…" James stated.  
  
"Oh, no, Sirius is on the loose…" Remus put in.  
  
"He can't be as dangerous as you put him as…" Kat said, and with this, she was picked up by something behind her.  
  
"Gotcha!" Sirius cried.  
  
"Ah!" Kat cried. "Let go of me, you Booger!"  
  
Sirius just grinned, and flipped her over his shoulders, now making Kat upside down.  
  
"I don't like this, PUT ME DOWN!" Kat told him.  
  
"Mm-m." Sirius stated, walking to the bathroom, leaving the three others behind.  
  
"No, No, No!" Kat yelled.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes!" Sirius cried, getting closer to the bathroom.  
  
"Black, I am already dressed! If you get me wet, I will have to get dressed again, and that will make me very pissed."  
  
Sirius shrugged, and dropped her in the tub. (It's a deeper tub than you think, she didn't bang her head or anything.)  
  
Kat yelled, and sprang up, soaking wet.  
  
"Black!"  
  
"Yes?" Sirius asked, grinning.  
  
"You're dead!"  
  
"You're wet."  
  
"I released that, thanks." Kat said dryly… er wetly.  
  
"So… ready to go to potions?" James put in, walking into the bathroom, now wearing his robes.  
  
"Oh, yes." Kat said, rolling her eyes. "I am isoi ready for Potions."  
  
Remus laughed as he came into the bathroom, as well, his book bag slung on his shoulder.  
  
"So, is Sirius as dangerous as we put him as?" Remus asked, grinning.  
  
"No, he's more. Honestly, they should put a warning label on Black." Kat said, stepping out of the tub.  
  
"Here, here." Peter cheered, as his towel that he wrapped over his hair fell into his eyes.  
  
"Don't say we didn't warn you." James grinned.  
  
"Well, I thought he was asleep." Kat mumbled.  
  
"You'll learn. Even half-dead Sirius is more dangerous than a bowl full of Blast-Ended-Screwts." Remus added.  
  
Kat snorted.  
  
"Blast Ended Screwts? Never heard of them."  
  
"Go to Hagrid… he has a million of them…"  
  
Sirius' eyes lit up.  
  
"There dangerous, yes?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Don't you listen to Hagrid when he tells you about them 24/7?"  
  
Sirius frowned.  
  
"I'm too busy playing fetch with Fang…"  
  
"You're the one who does the fetching." James pointed out.  
  
"What? Sticks have a very… well… woody flavor. I like it." Sirius stated. "Anyway, back to my idea…"  
  
Sirius' ever so famous look came on him again, as the three groaned.  
  
"What?" Kat asked.  
  
"Study this face very carefully…" Remus told Kat. "This look, means death is soon to come."  
  
Sirius scowled.  
  
"Not death."  
  
"Detention." Peter pointed out.  
  
"Broken Limbs." James added.  
  
"Missing Limbs," Corrected Remus.  
  
"That was only once!" Sirius cried.  
  
The three looked at him coldly.  
  
"Twice."  
  
Again, they stared coldly at him.  
  
"Forty- Seven times, whatever. This time there will be no missing Limbs."  
  
"This is the most fun part…watch" James whispered to Kat. "What is your idea Sirius?"  
  
"Ok. It all starts with, James… he runs to Hagrid and asks, or steals, whatever you feel fit, a bunch of Blast Ended Swuttles."  
  
"Screwts." Remus corrected him automatically, with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, whatever… then James, gets these 'Scewts' in a bucket."  
  
"Why me?" James asked.  
  
"You can run the fastest… we don't have a lot of time." Sirius pointed out.  
  
"Fine, then what do I do?"  
  
"So, you run these 'screwts' the Slytherin entrance, that's where Kat comes in."  
  
Kat grinned, so far it sounded like fun.  
  
"Kat, do you like Snape?"  
  
"Severus? God no, he's disgusting and… no, he's just disgusting all together!" Kat cried.  
  
"Okay, well half of this will be good news…" Sirius told her. "If all goes well, which it will, we will end up putting the swuttles… screwts." He corrected himself, with a grin.  
  
"We are going to put the screwts in his book bag. But we have to get his bag, first."  
  
"What do I have to do?" Kat asked, sprawling across the floor.  
  
"Get his bag off him somehow, maybe… oh flirt will him, twist his hair, pull off his bag, lay it on the couch, and James… grabs it, fills it up, and places it back. You just, flirt with him, be all sexy and crap."  
  
"You must be mistaken, you have to have a prostitute to do that."  
  
"Kat…" Sirius whined. "Please?"  
  
And then Kat met another of Sirius' dangerous things, his puppy eyes.  
  
"Oh god, that's sickening." Kat cried, looking into Sirius' blue, at the moment big, eyes.  
  
Sirius let his lip whimper a bit. His eyes filled up with tears, and he bent his eyebrows just the way dogs do when they want your ham. (No Bingo, you cant have my ham, damn it!)  
  
"Does he do this a lot?" Kat asked James, Peter, and Remus.  
  
They nodded.  
  
"Fine." Kat gasped, she couldn't take anymore of it. "I'll flirt with Snape."  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"But first, you better get dressed, babe."  
  
Kat punched Sirius in the stomach, and walked off to get dressed.  
  
~*~  
  
Kat met the four on the stairway that heads to potions, she waved happily at them, slinging her bag over her shoulder.  
  
"We've got five minutes till potions, so we have time." Kat informed them.  
  
"Time for what?" Peter asked, trying to stuff his potions book in his bag with little successes.  
  
"To talk about our relationship… okay, all the Slytherin's will ihatei me if they know you're my friends."  
  
"So, they hate you, what's the matter with that? All your loosing is Snape and Malfoy…" James commented.  
  
Kat rolled her eyes.  
  
"Not all Slytherin's are like them you know."  
  
"Could have surprised me." Sirius hissed.  
  
"Well, if the Slytherin's don't want to be your friend just because you're our friend, they cant be very good friends, can they?" Remus pointed out.  
  
Kat shrugged.  
  
"No, I suppose not. Anyway, I just… think it would be better if we had a secret friendship, it will be cool. I could be like a… spy." Kat smiled, pleased with her idea.  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"You could be our undercover cop! You could like get all this information on Slytherin's and we could black mail them with it!"  
  
"That's not what a undercover cop is, Sirius." Remus pointed out.  
  
"Whatever." Sirius stated.  
  
"Either that… or I hang out with you all the time, and just be an outcast when I'm with the Slytherin's." Kat pointed out.  
  
"Look, why can't you be both of our friends?" Remus asked.  
  
"Gryffindors and Slytherins?" Kat shook her head. "It just doesn't work."  
  
"Why not?" Peter asked.  
  
Sirius hit Peter on his forehead.  
  
"Oh, wake up from the dead, Peter! We hate each other, it's like Dogs and Cats being friendly, it just doesn't work."  
  
"But Kat's a Slytherin, and she's our friend." Peter pointed out, confused.  
  
Kat smirked.  
  
"Who says I'm your friend?"  
  
"You." James pointed out.  
  
"Oh, I did. Shit." Kat said. "Look, just, pretend that we don't know each other… pretend like last night never happened."  
  
Sirius sighed, and put his arm around Kat.  
  
"But, Kat, my sweet lovable bunch of flowers. How can I pretend I don't know you, when I'm seriously in love with you?" Sirius batted his eyelashes sweetly.  
  
Kat made a disgusted face, and pulled his arm off her.  
  
"Please, Black. Don't make me puke."  
  
"Anything my love." Sirius winked, and hugged Kat rather closely. Then Morgan Donnelly came walking down the hall, Sirius sprang away from Kat quickly at the sight of Morgan, and started to blush.  
  
"Hi Sirius." Morgan said casually, walking past the five.  
  
"Morgan." Sirius nodded, edging ever further away from Kat.  
  
Remus looked at his watch, shaking his head.  
  
"Five minutes are up, let's go to Potions."  
  
~*~  
  
"…That's it for today, pitiful job, Gryffindors, twenty points off. Slytherins, as always, wonderful, one hundred points. Can I see my Slytherins for a moment or two… yes you Gryffindors are supposed to meet with McGonagol." Gevine said Gryffindor as if they were an overused slimy dog chew toy that has no purpose but to be disgusting.  
  
"McGonagol?" Morgan said from behind Remus. "Why?"  
  
James turned around.  
  
"Maybe a meeting about the house cup?" James suggested.  
  
"A birthday party!" Sirius cried, jumping out of his seat. "Oh goody!"  
  
Remus shook his head.  
  
"No, Sirius. It is not a birthday party."  
  
"You're just saying that so I won't find out, well poo to you." Sirius said, sticking out his tongue, then he shook his head. "Did I just say Poo?"  
  
James nodded.  
  
"Great." Mumbled Sirius. "Poo to you. The chick's getting to me."  
  
"What chick?" Morgan asked curiously.  
  
"No one." James gritted, staring coldly at Sirius. "You know Sirius, he just blames everything on girls."  
  
"I know what McGonagol wants." Renee whispered from her desk.  
  
"Do you really?" Peter asked curiously.  
  
Renee nodded.  
  
"But she made me ipromisei not to tell anyone."  
  
"You just don't know." Sirius told her.  
  
"Please, I do too know, Mr. Poo to You." Renee said, grinning.  
  
"If you do know, why don't you tell us?" Remus asked.  
  
"I cant."  
  
"How convincing," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"We'll find out anyway, Sirius, don't get a hernia over it." James told him.  
  
"Yes, but everyone else will know when I know." Sirius whined. "I wanna go first."  
  
"GRYFFINDORS! GET OUT!" Gevine spat, shooing Remus out of his desk with his papers. "Now! Now!"  
  
"Woh, don't have a heart attack, breath in, breath out." Sirius cried.  
  
Gevine narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Black… GET OUT!!!!"  
  
Sirius shook his head, but none the less, took his bag off the back of his chair and left for the door.  
  
"Other Gryffindors too… now." Gevine gritted.  
  
The Gryffindors moaned, hissed and went… "Somebody has a bit of PMS today." And exited, before Gevine could deduct any points from there rude comments.  
  
~*~  
  
"Settle down, I have important news." McGonagol explained, waving her hands in the downward motion so that the excited Gryffindors would sit.  
  
"I have just been informed, that on April Eleventh…"  
  
"That's my birthday!" Sirius cried, shooting up from his chair.  
  
"That's nice, Mr. Black."  
  
Sirius eyed McGonagol suspiciously.  
  
"When's your next birthday? How old are you going to be turning, you got to be pretty old…"  
  
"Mr. Black, please. Shut your oversized mouth."  
  
"Well, that wasn't polite." Sirius mumbled, as he sat down for a second time.  
  
"Yes, well, on April eleventh, we will be having a Ball. I'm not quite sure why, and Mr. Black, don't say because it's your birthday…" McGonagol added, as Sirius grinned, but then looked disappointed at her words.  
  
"But Professor Dumbledore decided it was time for Hogwarts to hold a ball, usually Third years aren't aloud to balls, but Professor Dumbledore thought that knowing this class, you would end up coming anyway, so he spared you all detentions by inviting you. You are aloud to have a partner, and it will start at eight, and end at midnight. Midnight, Mr. Black, midnight."  
  
All the Gryffindors looked around the room excitingly, girls giggling, boys looking about nervous, but none the less the atmosphere was very… happy.  
  
"Can you believe this!" Sirius cried. "A ball! This is so great!"  
  
"Partners? Do you suppose we ineedi partners?" Remus asked nervously.  
  
"Ah, Rem. It won't be hard to find you a partner. You have a charming personality, reasonably good looks, you have some brains, I do think any sensible girl wouldn't mind having a little snog with you." Sirius grinned. "But Peter," he shook his head. "I don't know, your spots might turn some ladies off."  
  
"Spots!" Peter whined. "I don't have spots…"  
  
"Sirius, stop." James put in.  
  
"Oh, Peter knows I was kidding, don't you?" Sirius grinned his charming smile.  
  
"Um… yes… I suppose." Peter said, lowering his head.  
  
"There's my best friend!" Sirius cried, and patted Peter on his back. "Professor?" James asked, raising his hand.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Potter, and please don't tell me the story about your lobster again."  
  
"Oh, I, er, wasn't going to." James said, blushing a bit. "I was just wondering if we were aloud to leave."  
  
"Oh, yes. Let me make sure no one has any questions…"  
  
"Oh I do!"  
  
"Black, what?"  
  
"Is there a limit on how many partners you can have?"  
  
"I would like you to stay at one, if you wouldn't mind."  
  
"One? I have to choose just one? Remus Christ you have to be kidding me."  
  
"I'm a Christ? I'm flattered." Remus stated.  
  
"You can leave, if no one else has any questions." McGonagol said, ignoring the Marauders. (She was getting quite good at that.)  
  
"Oh, er, I do." Peter asked, raising his hand.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are we aloud to, um… well… like… if I wanted to… could we go to the ball with… a person from another… house?"  
  
"Certainty."  
  
"What about other Schools?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I am ignoring you, Mr. Black."  
  
"Can we leave?" Morgan asked.  
  
"Yes, please, for the love of god, leave." McGonagol cried, slightly smiling. "I'll see you at the Ball."  
  
~*~  
  
"I don't find it extremely, well, fair, that they only give us seven days to get ready for this stupid ball." James mumbled, walking to the Great Hall.  
  
"What do you need to get ready for?" Sirius asked. "It's not like we have to buy a new dress, or get on make-up or anything."  
  
"Let's hope not." Remus stated, smiling slightly.  
  
"Peter in a dress, help me lord." James said, covering his eyes. "Besides, Sirius, I wasn't talking about appearance, exactly. More like… partners."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes.  
  
"Seven days is more than enough time for that." Sirius told him, entering the Great Hall, as the noise in the room seemed to state only one thing, "Ball."  
  
"I suppose everyone already knows about the Ball?" James asked, cocking his head to the side.  
  
"Obviously." Remus said, sitting down at the table. "So, who do you think will go with you?"  
  
"I'll bet thirteen Galleons that, Remus, you get a date with a Ravenclaw." Sirius grinned.  
  
"Ravenclaw? Now, what makes you think that?" Remus asked, looking at the empty plate in front of him fill with a turkey sandwich.  
  
"I have no clue." Sirius said seriously, sitting down next to him. "But, I think I'm right."  
  
"Boo!" Kat cried, from behind the four, grasping Sirius' shoulders.  
  
"My love." Sirius grinned. "Did you hear about my Birthday Ball?"  
  
"I heard about iai ball, but, hate to break it to you, I don't think it's for your birthday."  
  
"Kat, I thought you weren't aloud to be seen with us?" James grinned.  
  
"Oh, well, that all changed when Sam Primavra asked Lizzy Landbeck to the dance, it doesn't matter if Slytherins know Gryffindors anymore."  
  
"Are you going with anyone to the ball yet?" Peter asked curiously, through a mouth full of roast beef.  
  
"Not yet, but I will, any of you want to go with me?" Kat asked.  
  
"Don't know, is that a charity invite?" James asked, grinning.  
  
"Please, me? Give Charity? You wish."  
  
"Let me see what other offers come up." Sirius smiled.  
  
"Oh, there is no way in hell am going with you, Black." Kat said, sitting down next to him.  
  
"What is she doing here?" Renee asked, sitting across from Remus.  
  
"Oh, Kat's my friend." Remus stated. "She decided to come over and say hello."  
  
"Hello." Kat smirked.  
  
"Oh," Renee scowled. "Remus, are you going to the ball with anyone yet?"  
  
"Please tell me that's just a fun topic… not a question leading to you asking him out." Sirius said, disgusted.  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"Because you're my sister, and Remus is my best friend, there's no way in hell that you two are going to the ball together."  
  
"That's for Remus to decide. Remus…" Renee asked, smiling sweetly.  
  
"Me? You want to go with me?" Remus asked, pointing his finger to his chest. "Well, I can't very well say no."  
  
"Sure you can, just look her in the eyes and say, "Renee, No."  
  
Renee stuck her tongue out at Sirius.  
  
"Don't worry, Remus. I won't blame you on your bad sense of character." Renee told him.  
  
"Oh, fuck off." Sirius scowled.  
  
"So, Remus, you want to go or not?"  
  
"Sure, do you want to meet up near the fire place at seven thirty?"  
  
"All right." Renee giggled. "I can't believe I'm going with Remus Lupin!"  
  
Sirius shook his head.  
  
"Well there goes thirteen galeons. Who do I pay?"  
  
"Remus… that happened… well quickly. You're all ready for this ball. Unless, you are planning to wear make-up at the ball." James smiled.  
  
Kat shook her head.  
  
"No, Remus is more of a naturalist I think."  
  
"I can see him wearing blush once and a while…" James answered.  
  
"Only light pink, not red or anything…" Sirius added.  
  
"Guys, Shut up." Remus growled. "I'm not planning to wear make-up to the ball, or any other time in my life for that matter."  
  
"Um… hi."  
  
The five turned around to see a second year hufflepuff, named Lana standing there sweetly, her foot wrapped around one of her ankles.  
  
"Hi, I was wondering… um… Sirius, if you wanted to go the ball with me…"  
  
Sirius opened his mouth, looking revolted, as Remus whispered,  
  
"Be nice, Sirius."  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes, but decided to spare Lana's feelings by lying.  
  
"Oh, Lana, I'm really sorry but I already, er… have a date."  
  
Lana looked at him, tears filling her eyes.  
  
"But-but… No!"  
  
Peter looked at Lana.  
  
"I'll go with you." He whispered, blushing horribly.  
  
"Er… Ok." Lana looked neither happy nor sad. "I guess that's… all right?" She said, sounding more like a question then a statement.  
  
"Really? Wow! I've never had a date before? Will you like dance with me and everything?" Peter cried, standing up quickly, knocking his tray over making his roast beef sandwich spill on the floor.  
  
Lana blushed.  
  
"I'm not sure, I'll see you at the dance though, okay?"  
  
Peter nodded quickly.  
  
"See you, then." Lana said, and with that left the Gryffindor table.  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"Well, Peter, you have a date before me and James, are you thrilled?"  
  
"Um…" Peter sighed, picking up his sandwich off the floor, examining it.  
  
"Are you going to eat that?" Kat asked, disgusted.  
  
"Why shouldn't he?" Sirius asked. "It's good."  
  
"It's been infested by the floor." Kat snarled.  
  
"Infested, please." Sirius said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"It has been!" Kat cried.  
  
"Yep, sure. Oh, shit James we forgot all about our Scwuttle plan." Sirius cried, jumping off subject completely as he always seemed to do.  
  
James sighed.  
  
"When do you want me to get them?"  
  
"Now?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow at his question.  
  
"Right this second? But, I was going to eat my tuna." James whined, picking up his roll.  
  
"You can eat your Tuna later, James." Sirius told him.  
  
"No, my tuna! I want it now!" James said, letting his lip go into a pouting position.  
  
"No, James, No."  
  
"I WANT MY TUNA! TUNA, TUNA, TUNA!"  
  
"It is icleari you didn't get enough sleep last night, James." Sirius growled.  
  
"Tuna! Tuna! Tuna!"  
  
"James, aren't you allergic to Tuna?" Remus asked curiously.  
  
James' eyes grew the size of dinner plates.  
  
"You're right!" he dropped his Tuna Roll on his plate, before he could eat it. "Bloody hell, that's the second time I almost died today."  
  
"Pity it failed both times." Came the greasy voice that could only belong to one, Snape.  
  
"Oh, go eat a rotten banana." James told Snape.  
  
"Please, I have no time to fight with you, I want to talk to Kathryne."  
  
"Kathryne? Mate, I have no idea who you're talking about…" Sirius cried.  
  
"Are you referring to Kat, Snape?" Remus asked coolly.  
  
"If you must call her that, yes."  
  
"You must call me that, Severus." Kat said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Fine, I want to talk to you, Kat." He said every bit of the sentence in pure hatred, except he said Kat's name with something almost sounding like admiration.  
  
"You can't always get what you want." Kat said hotly.  
  
"Oh, can't I?"  
  
"You can't."  
  
"I want you, to talk to it is."  
  
"You cant have me, to talk to, that is."  
  
"I love it when woman play hard to get." Snape said, winking.  
  
Kat took a deep breath, and bit her lip.  
  
"Severus." She said slyly.  
  
"Yes?" Snape batted his eyelashes helplessly.  
  
"No."  
  
"No to what?" Snape asked.  
  
"No, I will not go to the ball with you, no I will not make out with you, no I will not marry you, no I will not make children with you, and for the love of god, no, that shirt does not match your shoes!" Kat screamed loudly.  
  
"Oh." Snape said, and stomped off angrily.  
  
"We do have a temper don't we, Kathryne?" Sirius asked sweetly.  
  
"Shut-up." Kat mumbled, looking at the empty plate in front of her. "God Damn it, why isn't this plate feeding me bloody food?" Kat cried, holding up the silver plate to her eye, inspecting it.  
  
"You can have my roast beef sandwich." Peter smiled, holding the sandwich to her.  
  
"It's been infested by the floor." She growled, crossing her arms.  
  
~*~  
  
"Screwts, Screwts, Screwts, Screwts!" James cried happily, walking on the path to Hagrid's hut. James currently had a study hall alone, and Sirius has convinced him that he should get the Screwts, so that Kat can flirt with Snape at her study hall, which was the period after. He decided that it would be better if he just agreed with Sirius, so that he… actually, he was just too lazy to yell at the moment.  
  
"Hagrid, it's James, let me in please!" James cried, banging on the large door.  
  
A face looked in the window, and grinned at the sight of James.  
  
"Where's yer group, James? Sirius aint behind be ready to tackle me is he?"  
  
James shook his head.  
  
"Nope, I'm alone today, Hagrid. The others are at class. I am actually here to ask a favor from you, if you wouldn't mind?  
  
"Mind? How could I ruddy mind? Yer know yer like one of mi own!" Hagrid cried, giving James a soft noogie.  
  
"Ah, yes, thank you Hagrid." James laughed. "But I'm not sure… if you'll… approve of this favor."  
  
Hagrid frowned slightly.  
  
"What do ye want?"  
  
"Can I borrow some screwts?" James asked.  
  
"Yer mean it? Ye want some of mi Screwts? Not even Kettleburn wants to see mi Screwts! Wait a minute, why do ye need to have mi Screwts?"  
  
James looked around the hut innocently.  
  
"Um… Care of Magical Creatures?" James asked.  
  
"Yeh, Sure, Jamie mi boy. Don't believe a world of it, but if I don't know what's going on, I cant get in trouble from the Professor, so don't yer tell me. Just take them."  
  
James grinned.  
  
"Seriously, you'll let me take them?"  
  
Hagrid grinned back at James.  
  
"For Care o' Magical Creatures, on'y," He said with a wink.  
  
James laughed.  
  
"Right, CMC…" James answered. "Where are the little screwts anyway?"  
  
"Little? I didn't say nothing about little. Come on outside, there in the back."  
  
"Er… okay." James said, following the man through the door.  
  
"Here yer are… Blast Ended Screwts." Hagrid said, swelling with pride as he pointed to ten-foot long worm creatures that were blowing fire at each other and biting vigorously.  
  
"Bloody Hell, Hagrid, there huge!" James cried, his gray-blue eyes huge under his glasses.  
  
"Ye really think so? How many de yer want?" Hagrid asked, blushing with James "complement".  
  
"Er… I'm not sure… one?" James asked, wondering on how he would be able to get the huge worm to Kat, and how on earth was it going to fit in Snapes bag?  
  
"One? Which one de yer want?" Hagrid asked, embracing the fence in which the worms were held.  
  
"There's a difference between them?" James asked, looking up at Hagrid.  
  
"Oh Yeah, James mi boy! Look at that one 'er… Phil's his name, he's the biggest… and Charlotte, she bites the most…"  
  
"Um, that's… nice Hagrid, look I'm running short on time," James said, looking at his watch, even though it had been broken ever since Peeves and him had got into a water balloon fight. "Can you just give me the smallest screwt you've got, or is there anyway, we can… er… shrink them?"  
  
"Shrink 'em? Why would ye wanna Shrink 'em?"  
  
"I would tell you, Hagrid, but I don't think you really want to know."  
  
"Yer right, I lost interest completely." Hagrid said with a slight smile. "So, yer want to shrink 'em? Not sure if they'd like that much." Hagrid said, rubbing his chin. "I have some baby screwts if you want  
  
i'em. i"  
  
"Er… how big are those?" James asked, hoping that they were smaller than the 10 foot worms that were in front of him.  
  
"Not much bigger than a regular earth worm, here, I'll give ye a bucket of 'em." (A/N: I am now just realizing that I can't do Hagrid's accent for a Sirius in a towel, so just bare with me)  
  
"Perfect!" James cried, grinning. "That's just the right size! A bucket full is just enough…I can get them quickly, no?"  
  
"Well, sure, but I dunt see why yer in such a 'ury, you don't have CMC till late termora." Hagrid said, grinning largely.  
  
James blushed slightly.  
  
"Right… erm… can I just leave?" James asked, smiling a bit.  
  
"Yeh, Yeh, sure. Here let me get ye yer screwts. Take care o' them, there on'y babies yet."  
  
"Okay…whatever you say Hagrid."  
  
James was kind of… spooked out by the fact that Hagrid really loved those… things. The Screwts seriously looked like one of those… lethal weapon animal thingys, yes okay, that doesn't make sense, but it was James' thoughts, not mine.  
  
~*~  
  
"Please don't tell me I have to touch those things." Kat said, pointing at the bucket full of little lobster-ish worms.  
  
"What, are you afraid of them? Oh come on Kat… they want to kiss you…" Sirius said, lifting a worm up, dangling it in front of Kat's gray eyes.  
  
"I will not…kiss them!" Kat said, looking quite nauseous from the overhanging creature.  
  
Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, that's probably a good thing, not quite sure if they could stand the smell of your breathe."  
  
"Oh, that hurt Black… ouch you've stung me for life."  
  
"Here we go again…" James and Remus said together. Ever since Kat and Sirius met they were at each other throats… yelling very iloudlyi, so loud in fact that it gave Peter a migraine, which he was soothing at the moment in the hospital wing.  
  
"I didn't know I was that powerful… its good to know." Sirius said, putting the worm back in the bucket.  
  
"Sarcasm… Sirius… Sarcasm…" Kat groaned. "Moony, what class do you have next?"  
  
James looked at Kat curiously.  
  
"Moony, who's that?"  
  
"Remus. Didn't you know that?" Kat asked.  
  
"Erm… I didn't even know that Kat." Remus said.  
  
"Oh, well now you do."  
  
"Moony, how the hell did you come up with that one, Kat my sweet?" Sirius asked sweetly.  
  
"Well, it makes sense doesn't it?"  
  
"It does?"  
  
"Yes." Kat said shortly.  
  
"Enlighten me on how it makes sense." Sirius said.  
  
"Enlighten… you've learned a big word Sirius… good job, soon you'll pass kindergarten!"  
  
"You know… she isn't very nice to Sirius, is she Moony?" James asked.  
  
Remus scrunched up his nose.  
  
"If you all insist on calling me Moony, for God's sakes… tell me how you got that name, Kat."  
  
"Moony… right… any guesses?"  
  
There would have been jeopardy music in the background, but they are wizards so they don't have T.V and Jeopardy most likely wasn't invented yet.  
  
"Oh!" The three cried at once. "I know!"  
  
Kat shook her head.  
  
"It's true, you do share brain waves."  
  
The three scowled, but they couldn't deny it, sometimes it did become a little uncanny how they can think of the same thing at once.  
  
"Right well… Remus… I'll let you have a crack at it, considering the fact that it is your nickname."  
  
"Why thank you, Kat." Remus said, nodding. "Ok, I got the fact that since I'm a… you know…" Remus said looking around the hall nervously. "And I'm kind of controlled by the Moon… I'm a little… Moony. Erm… is that right?"  
  
Kat grinned.  
  
"Yes, I suppose, if you want it to be right."  
  
"What sort of answer is that?" James scowled.  
  
"My answer, James."  
  
"What an answer." Sirius gasped.  
  
"Shut-up, you."  
  
"'You' is that my pet name, love?"  
  
"No, you're pet name is Ass hole, do you like it?"  
  
Sirius tilted his hand back and forth.  
  
"Eh… it's okay, but I don't know, it lacks some sort of… flare."  
  
"You want me to keep going? I can. You could be prick… bastard… mudblood-" Kat quickly snapped her hand over her mouth, and shook her head. "I didn't mean that… seriously… I didn't."  
  
The three looked at her, then at Sirius (except Sirius of course, because it's not really probable that Sirius could look at himself without a mirror) wondering how Sirius would… react to this. Luckily he hardly reacted.  
  
Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Nah, it's okay... I'm used to it…"  
  
"Sirius, seriously… I'm sorry…"  
  
"No, it's fine…" Sirius grinned. "Just because you cant think of a good pet name doesn't mean I'll hate you for life." He swung his arm over her shoulder. "Now… I don't know about you, Love, but I'm not sure if mudblood is very…saucy."  
  
"Black, don't make me tell you again, get off…" Kat said, lifting Sirius' arm off her.  
  
"Fine… Note to self, No touchy."  
  
"No touchy, No touchy, No touchy…" James sang happily.  
  
"You have mental issues, James." Remus stated.  
  
James pouted.  
  
"Not nice, Moony, not nice."  
  
"I'm rubbing off on you Remie, I'm so proud." Kat said swinging iher iarm over Remus' shoulder.  
  
"Hey, no bloody fair! Remus gets to touch you, but I don't?" Sirius asked.  
  
"This is different, he's not touching me, I'm touching him."  
  
James shook his said.  
  
"This all sounds so immensely wrong."  
  
"Moony and Kat sitting in a tree… oh dear lord I'm reverting to first year, I'm so ashamed." Sirius said, covering up his eyes.  
  
The three laughed.  
  
"Sirius… you're always reverting to first year…" James told him.  
  
"Right whatever… don't care… Kat just take the bloody screwts and flirt with that grease monkey… we don't have all the time in the world."  
  
Kat looked at Sirius as though he was crazy, and stared coldly into Sirius' bright… big… blue…sexy eyes… oh sorry, and stared into Sirius' eyes.  
  
"Fine… I did agree to this didn't I?"  
  
~*~  
  
"Severus… I need to talk to you…" Kat slyly smiled. After a little bribing, and a bit of blood shed, Kat was ready to flirt with Snape. She was currently wearing a slinky leather jacket, but it wouldn't stay on for long.  
  
Snape looked up, his black eyes looking hopeful.  
  
"Me?" He tried to sound calm but his voice jumped at the sight of Kat.  
  
"Yes, you silly goose." Kat had to hide a disgusted look as a result from calling Severus a… goose.  
  
"Well, if you need to talk to me… please do."  
  
Kat looked around, and then straight at Snape, biting her lip sexually.  
  
"Here? It's not very…" She lowered her voice. "Private."  
  
Snape's eyes lit up.  
  
"Holy shit…" He muttered, looking up at the skies.  
  
"Come on… let's go in your dormitory…" Kat said, beckoning him from the staircase.  
  
Snape nodded quickly, and jumped off the stone chair, following Kat.  
  
As soon as Snape was upstairs, James popped out from behind a stone table. He shook his head. He hated the Slytherin common room it was so… cold.  
  
He searched for Snapes bag under the safety of the invisibility cloak. There were only two Slytherin girls in the common room at the moment, but he didn't have to worry about them, they were talking about the ball, and you know girls when it comes to these things, complete zombies.  
  
"And you know what…" One of the girls stated.  
  
"What?" The other girl asked. James was surprised how much the girl sounded like Peter… that's really disturbing.  
  
"I heard that Sirius Black is already going with someone!" the girl shrieked.  
  
iHere we go again. i James sighed to himself.  
  
"No! Already? Wow, it's only like… two minutes into this thing… I wish I was going with him." James couldn't see this "peter" like girl, but he could tell by the way she spoke that she just melted in her seat as all girls do with the words "Sirius Black." There were only two girls that didn't love Sirius, and they were Morgan and Kat, but knowing them, they didn't really count as girls.  
  
"Me too… honestly he's so… sexy and smart."  
  
"You know, we really shouldn't like him… he is a Gryffindor you know."  
  
"I know… I know… but have you seen his eyes!" The two giggled.  
  
James rolled his eyes.  
  
iI don't need this, I really don't need this. i  
  
James decided he had heard enough gossip from the two Slytherins, and they wouldn't regain his attention unless they started talking about hot chocolate, because James liked hot chocolate. He walked to the stone couch to the left of the girls, and decided to sit down, not feeling up to the challenge of finding Snape's bag. He sat down and immediately wished he didn't. The hard stone that the couch was made out of quickly punctured James in the butt. Then, as he tried to go into a more comfortable position, it stuck into his butt even further.  
  
iThis couch… does not count as a couch… it is a rock in the formation of a couch. i  
  
So James quickly got off the rock in the formation of a couch, and moved on to the quest for Snapes bag, not even slightly aware of what Kat and Snape were doing upstairs.  
  
~*~  
  
"So… Kathryne, what did you (gulp) want?"  
  
"I want you, sexy." Kat mentally grimaced at the fact she just called Snape… ug.  
  
"Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit." Snape kept on muttering to himself.  
  
Kat moved to one of the beds, and pushed off a sock. She sprawled her self across the bed, and patted the spot next to her.  
  
"Come here you." iYou grease ape… you bastard… you hygiene non having person! i  
  
"Coming, Baby…"  
  
iOh, James you better be done sooni  
  
Kat smiled at Snape.  
  
"Do you have a bathroom where I could get… prepared."  
  
"Uh-uh-uh…"  
  
Kat shook her head, her red hair flying as she did so.  
  
"Never mind, I'll do it here."  
  
Snape nodded, not daring to let his eyes go off the image of the girl in front of him, for the fear of Kat disappearing in the split second he looked away.  
  
Kat shed her leather jacket, revealing a tight black belly shirt and Capri hip hugger leather pants. She smacked her lips, and looked at Snape dangerously.  
  
"Ready." She said simply.  
  
"I… me…Snape… too." Snape ran over to the bed and jumped on it much like a young girl would at a sleep over. Kat stroked her finger down Snape's chest.  
  
"So… how are you."  
  
"Perfect."  
  
Kat rubbed her lips together.  
  
"You look perfect…" Kat stated, looking at him with the most dangerously sexy look she could muster, and then with that look she repeated…  
  
"You look perfect, but it seems you're a little… hot. Let me help you cool down." Kat edged closer to Snape and started to unbutton his shirt.  
  
iPlease, God, let him wear undershirts, let him wear undershirts… I do not need to see Snape's chest…i  
  
"So… um… Kat?" Snape asked nervously.  
  
Kat looked up from unbuttoning one of the last buttons.  
  
"Yes?" She whispered.  
  
"What are we going to… do?"  
  
Kat had to gather all her self-control she had with that statement so she wouldn't burst out laughing.  
  
"What do you think?" iNumskull. i  
  
"Are we going to… kiss?"  
  
"In the beginning… maybe." Kat said, grinning evilly.  
  
"Wait… you mean…"  
  
Kat rolled her eyes. iYes, I mean Sex you over sized burritoi.  
  
"What do you want me to mean, babe?" Kat asked.  
  
"Oh… um… well…"  
  
Kat rolled her eyes.  
  
iI don't believe this… I don't believe this. i  
  
"You just want to snog first?" Kat asked sweetly.  
  
Snape nodded.  
  
"And I'm cold… could I put my shirt back on?"  
  
Kat snuggled closely to Snape.  
  
"Cant I warm you up just as well…" Kat asked.  
  
"Oh… yeah baby…"  
  
~*~  
  
James had found the long searched for bag on the floor near the unused fireplace. It just sat there, looking innocent… yet he couldn't help but think…  
  
iWhat if that bag… has some nasty disease. No, Seriously, James… prove to me that when I touch that bag, I wont morph into Snape and become all Greasy, and reeky, if that's a word…and what if my nose turns into that half eaten pear Snape has for a nose. Yes, I think I'd rather not risk turning into a French fry fryer, thank you. I'm not touching that bag. i  
  
Yes, James knew he was being exceedingly stupid with this theory about the afflicted bag, but can anyone really blame the man for being scarred with the image of being a…a grease monkey? James nodded and decided that grease monkey was the best word to describe Severus Snape. (Padfootluva agrees, and puts grease monkey in other stories too because she's to lazy to think of more Snape Metaphors.)  
  
~*~  
  
Snape, at the moment was entirely unaware that he was being called a grease monkey at the moment, and even if he had heard that comment, I don't think he would really care. He had too much on his mind right now, and hearing that insult would just cause a melt down at Snapes brain industry.  
  
"So, Kat… are you going to the ball."  
  
iDamni  
  
"Yes of course, I love balls." Kat grinned. "Are you going Snapey-wapey?"  
  
iBarf, Barf, Barf… I just gave Snape another pet name. Barf… Barf…BARF! i  
  
"I don't know, probably, do you think I should go?"  
  
"I think it would be… fun." Kat said, fingering Snape's hair, ignoring the grease residue forming on her own finger.  
  
"Fun…yes… are you going with someone yet?"  
  
"Maybe." Kat teased, her eyes dancing with mystery. "Maybe not."  
  
Snape pouted, and pulled Kat's hand away from his hair, and placed it on his lap.  
  
"Tell me, please…" Snape pouted, and he attempted puppy eyes.  
  
Kat rolled her eyes.  
  
"Snape, Please, Sirius does better puppy eyes than those."  
  
"Sirius? Sirius… Black?"  
  
"Yes, he has better puppy eyes than you." Kat grinned. iIt's time to have some fun i "He's also a better kisser than you too."  
  
Snape let his jaw drop down to his knees.  
  
"You kissed… Black?"  
  
Kat nodded.  
  
"Oh, yeah, a bunch of times." Kat smirked.  
  
"But… but…"  
  
Snapes mind was swirling with utter confusion. Kat has kissed Black, yet she's also kissing me. iI don't get it…it's really really weird. i  
  
"But what?" Kat asked.  
  
"WE'RE GOING OUT!"  
  
Kat gave Snape one of those, "Wow, you really are an idiot" looks. "Aren't we?" Snape whispered, backing away from Kat.  
  
"Where in the hell did you get that idea from?"  
  
"Well… you are here…now. And you were going to kiss me and all… and…"  
  
Kat looked at Snape, hiding her disgust in Snape.  
  
"Snape…just because I was going to kiss you doesn't mean we're going out. Like I would ever go out with a grease ball like you, I mean, Snape look at me, I'm sexy, but you… you're Snape."  
  
"But… but…" Snape know was really, really confused. Really.  
  
~*~  
  
James was still standing there looking at the bag with pure hate.  
  
"All right bag." James spat. "I'm on to your plan of taking over the world."  
  
The bag sat there. But James heard the thoughts it was thinking clearly.  
  
"So you know what I'm doing?" The bag replied, with a thick Russian accent.  
  
"Yes, and let me tell you right now, you're not going to get away alive!"  
  
"Oh, I think it is you who should be worried about your life, my friend."  
  
"Really?" James asked, amused with the bag's thoughts.  
  
"Yes, you are missing classes after all… and where were you instead of classes… the Slytherin Common room! What an interesting tale to tell the teachers that you were… fighting the evil bag!"  
  
"How did you know I have classes?" James whispered.  
  
"Please, I'm a evil bag, I have to be able to read minds."  
  
iI'm losing it. I am seriously going crazy. A bag is talking to me… a bag. i  
  
"Yeah, well you're not real, so there."  
  
Again, the bag sat there, but if it were real, it would have blinked with amusement.  
  
"I'm not real? Then how are you talking to me."  
  
"Because I'm crazy." James said proudly.  
  
"Ok then…"  
  
"But I'm still on to you."  
  
"I'm sure you are."  
  
James decided to stop the insanity there, because he knew that Kat would only be able to flirt with Snape for so long. He couldn't just waste time talking to the bag, he had to fill the bag, now.  
  
~*~  
  
"So… I'm going to leave now." Kat cried through the walls so James could hear here. "I'm going down stairs, okay?" She yelled again.  
  
"Okay, fine." Snape huffed. "But you are so not going to the ball with me."  
  
"I'm heartbroken." Kat insisted. "I'll be crying for weeks."  
  
~*~  
  
"I'm going down stairs, okay?"  
  
It was Kat's voice, she was coming, and quickly.  
  
James rushed to the bag, he took a deep breath and grabbed it.  
  
He didn't feel any acid hot pains on where he held the bag, nor did he sense his nose growing twice the normal size. He pulled open the bag, too rushed to look to see what was inside, though he was dying to figure it out. Sirius, Remus and him had a 10-galleon bet that Snape carries lipstick in his bag, violet was James' guess.  
  
There were loud footsteps, and Kat came down the stairs, tying her leather jacket shut.  
  
"Out!" She cried to the two Slytherins who, to James' horror, were still talking about Sirius.  
  
The two girls looked at Kat blankly.  
  
"Now!" Kat shrieked.  
  
The two girls quickly looked at each other, nodded and ran away.  
  
"JAMES!" Kat yelled, looking around. "Where in the bloody hell are you?"  
  
James popped his head from underneath the cloak.  
  
"Here."  
  
Kat sighed.  
  
"Great, are you done?" Kat asked, placing her hands on her hips.  
  
"Almost."  
  
James' head disappeared for a second more, and then came into view again, this time grinning.  
  
"Done."  
  
"You finished then?" Kat asked.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"That's usually what done means."  
  
"Right, Right…" Kat grinned. "Can't wait to see what his face will look like when he sees his bag full of those nasty mini-Sirius'."  
  
"You called Sirius by his first name, I'm so proud of you."  
  
Kat groaned.  
  
"I did? Great…"  
  
James grinned.  
  
"Come on, you can't not like Sirius, he's well… Sirius."  
  
"Sirius is Sirius? I never would have guessed." Kat sighed, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, ok whatever… did you know Snape's bag talks? It's from Russia."  
  
Kat eyed James worriedly.  
  
"Russia?"  
  
"Yeppiedoodles. I'm insane, did you know that."  
  
"I was starting to piece that together, yes."  
  
James laughed.  
  
"Let's go to lunch, I'm sure Snape will find our little gift in the Great Hall… come on." James told Kat, lifting up the invisibility cloak so Kat could go under.  
  
"You know what, I have never done a prank before, it's quite fun." Kat said, going under the cloak.  
  
"Yes, it's refreshing to be a marauder, isn't it?" 


	7. Special Trip, Special Flare, and Bananna...

WARNING: Long chapter, we're talking forty two pages here. Be aware, I'm quite proud of most of this chapter, up till the end bits, but I do happen to have a love affair with my astonishing ending. You will enjoy it too… I hope. But for now, just read the bloody chapter, and review after words. This step is crucial for the sake of your life. I'm not kidding, no review, no life. I will kill you with a pink cow. Don't even think it's not possible, it is. I've done it before! *grin* I love you all, I really do. Just read. And if you've already read some of this chapter before, read it again. I changed little, but I have made one extremely crucial change, and I haven't posted the changes anywhere, so don't think you know what I'm talking about. You don't. Nobody ever does. Like with the Pepperoni Pizza's in Latin, you just don't understand. Ok, enough babbling. Sit, stay, Read. Good Dog.

Chapter Seven: Special Trip, Special flare and Bananas.

Remus, Sirius, James and Peter were listening to Professor Binns drawl on about unicorns that made an impact on the reconstruction period in France when Sirius started to wonder how the Screwt plan went. To find this information, Sirius sent a note to James. 

__

Did you do it? 

****

The quote un-quote scwuttle plan? Yeah, I did it.

__

And?

****

And what? It worked, Kat did this weird spelly thing to make the screwts reveal them selves at dinner. That good enough for you, Sirius? 

Sirius grinned, reading the letter. He couldn't have done better himself. Chuckling softly at the image of Snape finding the screwts, he quickly scrawled a response.

__

You did okay, I suppose. Look, I've been thinking… I know what you're thinking right now… so let me be you, okay? So I say "I've been thinking,,," and you reply "Uh-oh" and then I bark "Shut-up…" There, anyway, I've been thinking, and we've already established that I know you already think it's already a bad idea, but regardless I thought… do we get to pick what animal we are in this whole Animagi thing?

****

Not sure. Why?

Sirius titled James' note upside down, and gave raised his eyebrows in puzzlement.

__

Mate, I can't read you're handwriting… but I'm going to pretend that says, Not sure, Why? The answer to that is… oh by the by it's by birthday in seven days. Ok, any way, the answer to that is I want a nick name too… you know, Moony is Moony, well why cant we be something. I mean, sure, Kat gave me Mudblood and all, but we all saw me express my love for that name, besides it'd feel akward if you called me by my pet name. I like the word akward.

James read Sirius' letter and chuckled. 

****

Sirius, you spelt awkward wrong… oh my, I'm starting to sound like Remus. Anyway, we'll get on the whole nickname thing later… Georgia, you know that fifth year weirdo in Ravenclaw, she came up to me to ask you if you wanted to go to the Ball with her… do you?

__

Hahahahahaha. No.

****

That's surprising. She's extremely pretty.

__

Well, yes, I suppose. But I want to wait for somebody else.

****

Do you fancy someone then? Who?

"Class, you are dismissed, oh, but don't forgot you're essay due… it has to have a thesis statement… thesis ladies and gentlemen, thesis… if you are not aware of what a thesis is I'll take out the dictionary… ah here we are. Thesis: no… wait that's Thesit… do you know what thesit is? It's a type of mutated dog that can't eat lunch or breakfast… only dinner. In 765 a thesit started a controversy because it wanted the privilege to eat lunch. What the thesit didn't know is that dead people don't have the privilege to eat anything. You see the judge in his trial was non other than Master Langin, he's been dead for millions of million years…"

The class was gone as soon as the words dismissed left his mouth, which was a while ago. Dumbledore found Binns eight o'clock that night still rambling on about the thesit sneezing while in court. What death will do to a man… or was Binns always like that?

~*~

"Who?" James asked Sirius walking into the Great Hall.

"Who what?"

"Who do you want to go with?"

"Go with where?" Sirius asked innocently, not daring to look James in the eyes.

"The ball you prat! Who do you want to go with to the ball?"

"Well, anyone besides Georgia." Sirius said with almost no emotion.

"Are you crazy?! No, don't answer that. But seriously, Siri, she's beautiful!"

"I suppose… but she's a Ravenclaw… I don't do Ravenclaws."

"What do you mean, you don't _do_ Ravenclaws?" James asked, motioning for Remus to move over and let James fit on the bench.

"I don't… do Ravenclaws. I don't like them. Me and Ravenclaws just don't work… we found that out with Lora Harney… ouch that girl slaps hard."

James rolled his eyes.

"You didn't exactly treat Lora well… nice…I mean, turning her nose florescent colors just because she was socializing with some random human who happened to fit under the male population…"

"Some random human? Both you and I know that you were talking to her."

"I told you! I was just getting her homework!" James insisted.

"Hello, all." Came Kat's voice from behind them.

Sirius turned around to see Kat.

"Yo mi homey G dog…"

Kat looked at him blankly.

"Excuse me, did you just speak English?"

"Sort of. American, I picked it up from my mums friend."

"Right, well, don't do that again, understand?" Kat asked dryly, as she placed herself comfortably on Adam's lap.

Adam looked up, eyes showing surprise.

"Hello… who are you… why are you sitting on me."

"Just shut-up." She told Adam. Adam blinked, but decided to let Kat do whatever she… well whatever she wanted.

Sirius looked at Kat hurt.

"My dear, you're sitting on Adam… I have a free lap if you want it…"

Lily bounced up.

"I'll take it!"

She pounced on his lap hardly, and then stuck his tongue out at him.

"Okay, you're just doing this to be annoying…"

Lily quickly nodded.

"Yeah, Yeah I am." Lily said, taking a pear from a bowl. "Hey, James!" Lily said, acknowledging the red faced James who looked like he was going to burst with anger. James twitched twice.

"Hello, Lily. Comfortable?" 

Lily laughed.

"Oh I forgot! You like me… well…" she giggled. "I'm sitting on Sirius to make him pissed."

James shook his head.

"You are acting drunk, Lily."

Lily sighed.

"Yeah, I am."

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Have you ever played truth or dare?"

"Oh, it was a dare!" Peter cried. 

Sirius laughed. 

"What a horrible dare…"

"Excuse me?" Morgan asked. "That was one of my dares."

"And it sucked." Sirius told her honestly.

"Like you could do better."

"I could…"

"Prove it."

"What are we going to do? Play truth or dare right now, such a chick game." 

Morgan raised her eyebrows.

"But you just stated that you've played that game."

"Yes, I have… at a party… with a lot of girls…"

"Why does that not surprise me."

"Oh my god…" Adam spoke softy. "You… get off my lap." He spoke in a harsh tone.

"What?" Kat asked, then eyed four girls walking towards the table, and grinned. "Oh, I get it… I could be cruel and kiss you right now, but I'll spare you…" Kat hopped off, and went to talk to some Slytherin.

"What's the matter, Adam?" Remus asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Girls… coming."

Lily frowned.

"That means I have to get off Siwius… poo."

"Yeah, total bummer." Sirius said sarcastically, as Lily jumped off, and whacked him on the backside of his head before she moved to her normal seating, on a bench.

"Okay… I'm going first." One of the girls whispered from five feet away. She had auburn colored hair, and deep brown eyes, she smiled to show white teeth in perfect position. 

"No fair! I want to ask him, and if he rejects me… you can go."

"No!" Chirped another. "I wanna ask! I wanna!"

"No fair." The first girl was talking again.

"Girls, shut-up, I'm asking!" This girl seemed to be the leader of the four. She was stunningly beautiful, with blonde hair, blue green eyes, and a smile that could melt all.

"No, Sirius won't like you." A dark hared girl stated.

Adam sighed.

"I'm starting to think they're not going to ask me."

Sirius groaned.

"Not more of them!"

"This is bad?" Adam asked. "Look at them…"

"Sirius, they're seventh years… wow Sirius, wow." James stated, simply awed in Sirius' ability to get any girl.

"Hey Sirius." All four of them said at once.

Sirius just nodded as a greeting.

"Smashing nice tie, Sirius." A dirty blonde said.

"I like how it's… loose." The leader and first girl said together.

"Remus, Sirius isn't wearing a tie…" James whispered to Remus.

"I know… I know."

"So…" The four said at once, then giggled.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'm going to the common room, later all." He stood up, and walked extremely fast to the door, escaping the girls. 

The leader sighed.

"He left…" 

"He does that a lot… leaving girls gasping for life."

Remus flinched.

"Ow, that was harsh James."

James shrugged.

"Yeah, well it's true."

The four girls frowned.

"Well… erm… you." She pointed at Adam. "Do you want to go with me? I'm Olivia by the way." The leader stated.

"Surely, I'm Adam." 

Olivia grinned.

"Great, see you." She ran away, the others scurrying after her.

James groaned.

"More girls… with those added to the girls who asked in the past, that's 27 girls who asked Sirius to go."

"Who did he say yes to?" Morgan asked.

"No one…"

"That's weird." Lily stated. "Wonder if he's waiting for anyone to ask."

"He says he's not… he just has to be satisfied with who he has."

"Will Sirius ever be satisfied?" Remus asked.

"I doubt it to be possible."

Later that week, they find out it is possible for Sirius to be satisfied.

~*~

"Two more hours… two more hours." Peter said nervously. 

Sirius looked at Peter upside down from laying on one of the common room tables.

"Relax, Peter. It's detention… we've done it before."

"I haven't… not with Gevine." 

"He's no different." James stated. 

The three looked at him.

"Okay, so he is… but not that different." James corrected himself.

Peter whined.

"Peter don't worry… detention's only for three hours." Remus assured him.

"That's three more hours then I would ever want." He whined, as his leg started to tremble.

"It's not that bad, Peter." Remus stated, taking a sip out of his water.

"Easy for you to say, Moony, you're not going to detention." Sirius stated.

"If you told us about being a werewolf in the first place, Gevine wouldn't have caught us out at night, and I wouldn't be so scared right now…" Peter pointed out to Remus, as his leg still shook.

"Sensitive, Pete, Sensitive." James told him, shaking his head.

"Nah, it's the truth." Remus said, placing down his water.

"No it's not…" Sirius said, sitting up on the table.

"Yeah, we would have got detention anyway." James said.

"I wouldn't have." Peter pouted.

"Good for you, no one cares." Sirius stated. "The point is, we know the truth now… it was worth a detention." He shrugged. "I dunno I like our whole Animagi plan."

"Sirius, shhh…" James said, looking around the common room to see if anyone was listening, nobody was.

"Oh, right… it's a secret, isn't it? I dunno, mates, I think we need a code name for our project. Like the "chipmunk project" or something like that."

"What about The moony project?" Peter asked.

"Gods, no… we need something else… with more… hell no, we just need something else." Sirius laughed.

"The Hell no we need something else project?" James added.

The three looked at him.

"Way too long, Jamsie boy."

"It's not that long." James stated. 

"Its like what a gazillion syllables."

Remus shook his head.

"Gazillion is not a real number, Sirius."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not.

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not.

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not.

"You sound like kinderwizards, stop it."

Sirius gasped.

"The kinderwizard project!"

The remaining Marauders grinned, even Kat even though she wasn't there and had no idea what was going on, she grinned.

"Perfect!" Remus stated.

"Right… what day is it?" Sirius asked.

"Thursday… the 6th, why?"

"That means Friday is tomorrow."

"Generally that is how the cycle goes, Friday after Thursday." James stated.

"Then why am I doing my Charms? I don't have that tomorrow…" Sirius cried, tossing his notebook over his shoulder. 

"Sirius… you scare me."

"Did you hear!" Molly Jones, a sixth year, cried, running down the stairs from her dormitory.

"What?" James asked, standing up.

Molly grinned, her face growing red from excitement. 

"Hogwarts is going to Hogsmead the 9th!"

"So?" Sirius asked. "What's the Big deal, I mean, yeah, I like Hogsmead and everything, but it's nothing to go all red in the face about, babe."

Molly frowned.

"Yes, it is! The 9th is the day The Naughty Boys are going to play at three Broomsticks! I love the Naughty Boys!"

"Did I hear someone say Naughty Boys?" Came Morgan from the fireplace. "What about them?"

"We're going to be able to see them!" Molly cried. 

"What? No bloody way!" Morgan shrieked. 

Molly nodded crazily. 

"We get to see… Craig, Crammar, Josh and…"

"Nick." All the girls in the common room seemed to shout.

"Aren't you related to Nick, Sirius?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head.

"No, I'm related to his girlfriend, Hazley…"

"What are you talking about?" Molly said, pouting. "Nick does not have a girlfriend, all the magazines say he's single and waiting for his special someone."

The girl population of the room sighed, and seemed to be thinking that they were that special someone Nick's was waiting for.

"Nope that's what Nick is forced to say, he's head over heals for Hazley, isn't he Renee?" Sirius stated.

Renee sighed.

"Yeah, he is." She admitted. "I have the luckiest cousin in the world."

"Yes, she has the privilege to, gasp, swap spit with Mr. Artificial looks." Sirius said with mock jealousy.

"You are so immature, Sirius." Renee said shaking her head.

"Yeah, whatever, I hate the Naughty boys… they are too fake."

"They are not fake!" Lily cried from the couch.

"Sure they're not." Sirius said. "They're just unreal."

"You're skating on thin ice, here, Buddy." James said, patting Sirius on the back. 

"No I am not." Sirius said, annoyed. "I'm stating the truth that these lovely girls can't face."

"We would face it if it were true, Black." Morgan stated. "You…" she jabbed a finger on his chest. "Are just too thick to admit that the Naughty Boys are ten times better than you."

"Better than me in what? Having their hair plastered in grease? Yeah, all right, I'll give them that one."

"It's not grease, it's gel." Morgan said mater-of-fact-ly. "And it looks brilliant. Better than your hair…" Morgan looked at Sirius' perfectly dreamy hair and that sighed. "Okay, so your hair is better than theirs… but I bet you can't sing as well as them."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"The Naughty Boys don't sing… they just mouth the bloody words."

"Well that wasn't the best choice of words…" Remus stated.

"I can't watch…" Peter said, covering his eyes.

"I can!" James cried.

"The Naughty boys do NOT mouth their songs…" A random seventh year cried.

"And even if they did…" Morgan stated. "They still have there dance moves! Even you can't claim that those fabby moves don't belong to themselves. They can dance marvelously. I bet you, Sirius Black, were born with too left feet!" 

"I can dance." Sirius stated.

Morgan raised her eyebrows.

"Then why don't you?"

Sirius opened his mouth in response, but just then McGonagoll had come walking through the door, looking for Sirius.

"Ah! Black, Petigrew, Potter, could I have a word?"

The three looked at her puzzled.

"Now? I was about to bust a move." Sirius explained, secretly glad that McGonagoll was there to stop him. It wasn't that Sirius couldn't dance, he certainly could, he just… didn't want to have to do the whole Boy Band moves… with the joints popping out and such, it gave Sirius the chills. 

"As wonderful as the thought of seeing you dance is, Black, you need to go to your detention early, turns out Professor Gevine has some business to attend to tonight… so now will have to do."

Peter whined.

"What's wrong with you?" McGonagoll asked, looking at Peter sharply.

"I… don't feel too good." Peter explained to the spinning McGonagoll. 

"Petigrew, I do not have time for this… get going to the Professors office."

"I will if the room would stop… I will if the _rooms _would stop twirling."

"Peter… what are you doing?" Remus whispered sharply. It wasn't wise to try to pull one over on McGonagoll.

"Nothing, Remus1 and Remus2… what are you doing?"

"Petigrew! Stop this at once!"

"I really don't feel good… why am I flying, Mummy?"

"Please, don't make me vomit, Petigrew, I am not your Mother."

"Don't say that… oh, it's you Professor, I don't feel…" Peter couldn't finish his sentence, his face formed the impression it was about to blow as he pushed McGonagoll out of the way and scurried of to the bathroom.

"BLAG!" Came the stifled barfing from upstairs.

"Oh, urg, Peter that's…"

"Nasty." The three said in unison.

McGonagoll groaned, and rubbed her temples.

"Great, Petigrew is sick, and now I'm forced to let him miss his Detention…"

"Should I… take him to the Hospital Wing, Professor?" Remus asked, flinching as another "Blag!" came from upstarts.

McGonagoll nodded.

"Yes, I suppose… take him Mr. Lupin." McGonagoll said, turning to the other two. "As for you, Mr. Black and Potter… Detention…now."

The two groaned.

"You know, Professor, I don't feel too good either…"

"Save it Sirius."

"Wow… Minerva, did you call me by my first name?"

McGonagoll shook her head.

"No I didn't, Mr. Black, and don't call me Minerva ever again other wise I will be forced to skin every inch of your body with your own fingernails."

Sirius sucked in a big breath of air.

"Okay." He said shortly. 

James had to stifle his laughter.

"Come on Sirius." He yanked Sirius' arm and they scurried off to detention… yes they actually scurried.

~*~

"That…" Sirius said, throwing his glove on the floor. "Was the nastiest thing I have ever done…"

James groaned, wiping his sweaty hair out of his face.

"How does Gevine think of these things, I mean how could anybody be so cruel to even think about making poor… innocent boys clean the hospital wing… without anything! No wand, no sponge, not even a bloody toothbrush, we're lucky we got gloves!"

"Lucky isn't what I would really call ourselves at the moment, James. Lucky would be Peter…sure he's at the hospital wing…but not cleaning with his bloody fingers." Sirius explained, as he dumped a soapy bucket of water out in the sinks.

"It's just our luck… er or not luck… that Peter had to barf while it's our duty to clean it up."

"I'm gonna kill that guy as soon as he feels better… send him back here with a broken neck." Sirius gritted, turning the faucets of the sinks vigorously, causing water to splatter all over the floors.

"It's not his fault he's sick…"

"I know… but I got to kick something!" He cried, jumping up and down with his anger, and unfortunately slipped on a patch of water, landing flat on his vertebra, not quite sure whether he should laugh hysterically, or bawl from the hellish pain. A bit confused, Sirius attempted both, causing a sound much like a dog choking on it's squeaker toy.

"Breath, Sirius, Breath… breathe in…" James laughed, helping his friend to his feet. (Which are size twelve and a half, by the way. Anyone whose seen the movie Notting Hill will see where I'm going with the fact right there.)

"Breathe out." Sirius finished, as he dusted himself off.

"Good… breathe in…"

"Breathe out…"

"Okay… good…" James stated, then looked at his watch. "We're done, mate… let's not stay here a minute more than we have to."

"I hear you." Sirius said. 

"Peter! We're going!" James called to Peter's bed.

There was a squeak in return.

James furrowed his brow.

"Er… Sirius, do you know what he was trying to say?"

"Just pretend that was an 'Okay guys, see you later."

"Right…"

"Five days till my birthday."

"Sirius, I'm starting not to care."

"Well if you don't care about that, would you care if I asked Madam Pomfrey something?"

"And what would that be, Sirius?"

"If she can cure a sore bottom, you don't know how hard these floors actually are…" Sirius complained, massaging his butt.

~*~

As soon as the news spread around the castle about The Naughty Boys going to be at Hogsmead, that was all anyone could talk about. Even the excitement of the Ball was replaced with the chance that they could talk to Craig Harley, or Nick Collins… it was unbearable. 

"Are you sure, and by sure I mean hundred percent positive, that Nick is going out with your cousin, Ren?" Lily asked at dinner Saturday night.

"Lily, I've told you a million times… yes, Nick is not single."

"Damn Hazley… what about Crammar, I suppose Hazley's got him too?" Morgan asked dryly.

Renee shook her head.

"No, but her friend Wendy does, it's just as bad."

"Please Kat, don't tell me you like the Naughty Boys." Sirius told Kat. It was becoming a regular event that Kat sit at the Gryffindor table, she felt more at home there than at the Slytherin table. Besides, it gave her more chances to make fun of all the Gryffindors.

"Oh, yeah." Kat said sarcastically. "Mmmm, that Craig is hot."

"Don't mock who we are, Kat." Morgan laughed.

Kat shook her head.

"Sorry, but it's too easy, you guys just hand it to me." 

"It's very odd that you don't like the Naught Boys… who do you like?" Renee asked.

"No one." Kat grinned.

"Isn't that the truth." Sirius muttered under his breath.

"I heard that Black…" Kat stated. 

"It was meant to be heard." Sirius stated, popping a strawberry in his mouth. "Now, Please, can we talk about something…anything else besides the Naughty Boys?" Sirius stated.

"I'm not sure if it's physically possible for them to stop Sirius," Remus stated. "It's an obsession."

"Like James has with Lily?" Sirius asked as James turned bright red.

"Sirius…" James groaned, hoping for his dear life that Lily hadn't heard what Sirius said, and she hadn't.

"Fine Mr. I hate the Naughty Boys with all my cold and insensitive heart, we'll change the subject." Morgan stated.

"Cold and insensitive heart?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yup." Morgan grinned. "Anyone who hates the Naughty Boys has to be evil."

"Then to be fair, Morgan, the whole population of boys are evil." Renee stated.

"And me." Kat smirked.

"We already knew that you were evil." Lily answered, laughing. As much as the other girls had to pretend they hated Kat's guts, she was a fun person to insult.

"You better have, other wise you'd be brain dead like Black over here." Kat said, jerking her head towards Sirius. 

Sirius shook his head.

"Babe, you need new material, you've already called me brain dead before, give it up."

"But it fits you so well." Kat paused for a second and then slapped Sirius on the knee.

"Ow! What?"

"You called me babe… again."

"Well at least I didn't touch you, we all know only Remus is allowed to do that."

Remus blushed.

"I did not touch Kat…"

"Once again, sounds oh so wrong." James stated.

Renee frowned.

"Remus, you better not have touched her, because I have you reserved for the dance, and I'm not going to share with some evil ("why thank you.") Slytherin." Renee stated neither seriously nor jokingly.

Sirius grimaced.

"Don't remind me!" He cried. "I'm trying to forgot that Remus actually said yes, but now you ruined any chance of that happening, thanks Renee."

"Your ever so welcome, I'll take a cute, smart boy off your hands anytime."

"Cute and Smart? Oh save me from hurling up my liver."

"What?" Lily asked Sirius innocently. "Remus is very smart… and it's not for me to say but he's also quite a cutie…"

"Precious." Morgan finished.

Remus shifted in his seat. He always felt uncomfortable when people talked about him, especially how he looked…

"Well, I'm going." Remus stated, sitting up before he exploded with embarrassment. "See you in the common room." He walked out of the Great hall as quickly as humanly possible without running.

Renee turned to Sirius looking angered.

"Sirius! You scared him away!"

"Me? I wasn't the one calling him cute!"

"Oh, Sirius is jealous." Lily mocked.

"Don't worry Sirius, we still think you're adorable…" Morgan said, giving Sirius' shoulders a tight squeeze. "Even if you're brain dead…" 

"You're brain dead for liking the bloody Naughty Boys…"

"No, we're normal." Lily stated, putting a book back in her bag. 

"Oh and we aren't?" James asked, lifting his hot chocolate to his nose, taking a slight sniff. (A/N: and for all you odd minded people out there, sniffing _hot chocolate_ and nothing else…)

"James, do you really want us to answer that?" Adam asked.

"Adam? Were you here the whole time?" Kat asked.

"Yes, I was just being quiet… oh, for the love of God, Kat, don't sit on me." He told Kat, he's always been a bit… spacious from Kat ever since she sat on him, he's one of the few who don't like it when attractive women sit on them.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Kat smirked, standing up. "I'm off to my dorm, I'll see you tomorrow… oh Sirius and James, could I talk to you?" She added, getting her bag, which was under the bench.

The two shot quizzical looks at each other, and shrugged. 

"See you then." James stated, waving cheerfully. 

"Three days till my birthday!" Sirius cried.

Kat rolled her eyes.

"You have to make a big exit, don't you hun?" Kat grinned.

Sirius grinned.

"I wouldn't be Sirius if I didn't…"

"You aren't ser-"

"Don't toy with me Morgan."

"Sorry." Morgan stated, grinning sheepishly.

~*~

"What's the problem?" James

"There's no problem…" Kat stated. "Just I wanted to remind you about tomorrow tonight… we're meeting about the Animagi… I mean the Kinderwizard project." The three had informed her earlier that they called the whole Animagi thing now had the label "the kinderwizard project."

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot."

"I did forget." Sirius added. "Tomorrow night? After we go to Hogsmead right?"

"After _you _go to Hogsmead… I don't want to go."

"You don't WANT to go?" Sirius and James asked in unison, shocked.

Kat shook her head.

"Not in my life time. What's the point? All you do is go shopping… totally a girl thing…"

Sirius and James looked taken aback.

"Damn it, James, she's right… it is a girl thing."

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that." Kat smirked. "You guys have a reason to go, Zonkos and stuff, its totally you. But what does a girl like me have to do at a shopping center."

"They have really cool things there too though, evil stuff you know, there's this whole store that moved to Hogsmead from Knockturn Alley… it screams your name!" James told her.

"And besides, you need to go shopping." Sirius grinned. "I bet you didn't get me a birthday gift yet… I'll kill you if I don't get a gift from you."

"I already got you something, Black." Kat stated, smiling slightly. "You'll like it."

Sirius and James both gave the same look of surprise to Kat.

"You got him something, wow you're good… I haven't got Sirius anything yet, and I've know his birthday was coming since last birthday!"

"It's not anything great." Kat said, smirking. "But… I think it's enjoyable enough."

"I'll be the judge on that… what did you get me."

"You expect me to tell you, Black?"

"Erm… yes?"

Kat shook her head.

"Wrong again."

"Again? When was I wrong before?"

"Sirius, please don't embarrass yourself." James stated rolling his eyes. "Kat, puh-lease come to Hogsmead with us, Peter, Remie, Sirius and I planned something quite enjoyable… you'll love it."

Kat smiled her signature evil smile.

"You guys have a plan?"

Sirius nodded.

"I thought of it when I was on a sugar high."

"I like it already, any of Sirius plans rule this bloody world." Kat said.

"You really think so?" Sirius grinned, straightening his collar in a dignified way. 

Kat nodded.

"As long as the plan isn't against me… oh… by the way, I didn't tell the screwts to come out tonight, I told them to come out tomorrow at breakfast… I found this on the floor." Kat handed James the note he wrote to Sirius earlier. "Honestly, I need to get you two a shredder, I found all twelve notes… be glad I found them and not someone else."

"You got me a shredder for my birthday!" Sirius cried, jumping up and hugging Kat. "I've always wanted a shredder."

"I didn't get you a shredder." Kat said coldly. "And you're touching me."

Sirius backed away.

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I'm almost used to it."

Sirius and James exchanged looks and pounced on Kat, hugging her.

"I said almost." Kat said, her voice muffled from being surrounded by the two boys. "Almost."

"Sorry."

~*~

"Sirius… Will you go to the-"

"No."

"Sirius have you heard about the ball?"

"Go away, Sarah."

"Sirius, do you already have a…"

"Date? Yes."

"Sirius…"

"Nope, sorry."

Conversations with Sirius and any girls (besides the obvious four, Lily, Renee, Morgan and Kat) all seemed to follow a very strict pattern. It would all start with hopeful girls asking, pleading, and sometimes even begging on their hands and knees for a date with the extremely popular Sirius. These ever so entertaining for Sirius' friends conversations would end when Sirius would break these girls' hearts by turning them down, leaving them crying in there rooms. The tragedy of it all. 

"I'm just waiting for someone special." Sirius answered when James asked for the seventh time about why he wouldn't say yes. "All these people lack some sort of flare."

"But Sirius… be reasonable," Remus stated. "Most of the female population has already asked you, and you didn't like any of them. I'm not sure if that special flare is well… existent mate." 

"It is." Sirius shortly replied. 

James eyed Sirius nervously.

"If you say so…"

"I do say so." Sirius answered stubbornly.

Peter sighed.

"I envy you, envy, envy, envy. All these smart, attractive, funny, pretty girls are drooling over you, and you don't even do as much as blink at their beauty." Peter said, rather sophisticated, which was quite out of character for him.

"What can I say," Sirius shrugged. "I'm immune to women loving me, I'm some sort of babe magnet."

Peter pouted, obviously frustrated with Sirius' luck in the girl department.

"Magnet is right!" James cried. "You're like a puppy dog, or baby…a girl gives you one glance and creates some state of an obsession over you. Sarah stalks you, you know that right?"

"See, I find that slightly unnerving." Remus grinned.

"It's sick." Sirius agreed. "I'm craving some whipped cream. Anyone want to accompany me to the kitchen? I'm certain the house elves wouldn't mind giving me some whipped cream."

"You're whipped yourself." Remus stated. "And you too." He added, thrusting his finger in James' direction.

"Me? Whipped?" James asked. "Where ever did you get that idea?"

"Russia." Remus answered evilly, flashing a grin.

~*~

The kitchen was a place Sirius, James and Peter found themselves located often, though Remus scarcely ever stepped foot inside that factory of pastries due to the fact that Kelin, the head house elf, had a nasty little crush of the poor werewolf.

"I hope Kelin died of food poisoning." Remus spat, as the four male marauders made it towards the kitchen.

"Remus, that wasn't nice." Peter scolded, being freakishly obvious.

"What? Kelin frightens me. She tried to slip me a love potion in my pumpkin juice once. So excuse me if that she-elf doesn't fall on top of my most trust worthy list."

"I remember that!" Sirius laughed. "Dumbledore almost sacked Kelin for that."

"Why didn't he?" Remus groaned, reaching the painting of fruit. 

"All right, whose going to tickle the pear?" James asked apprehensively. The four had a phobia of tickling the pear ever since Sirius asked if it knew how to tickle back, no one wants to be tickled by a pear, no one.

"I'm not." Sirius said, throwing his hands up in the air. "Out of all of you, I'm freaked out by that pear most."

"Sirius, your boggart didn't turn into the pear, did it?" James asked angrily. 

"Yours didn't either… it turned into your mother."

James blinked.

"You're right. Well I've had nightmares about the pear for months and-"

"I'm the one who started the whole pear th-"

"I'll tickle it." Remus said, hoping to break the quarrel in progress before someone got a bloody nose. "Honestly, you two call yourselves Gryffindors when you cant even tickle a bloody pear."

That shut the two up right away.

~*~

Once the four had been filled with whipped cream (and to James' pure joy, cherries on top) they decided that they should go to Hogsmead and get ready for the next night. Most people of course would have to wait till a school trip to go to Hogsmead, but the Marauders weren't most people. It was James and Sirius who discovered the useful secret passageway that brings you right to Hogsmead in the first month of their second year, but it was put to use many times by all of the four during their stay at Hogwarts. It was probably the passageway the four used most, and they could get there with their eye closed, walking backwards. Or at least three of the marauders could, Peter ended up walking into the fountain in the prefects bathroom which they didn't even know existed, but that's totally irrelevant.

"Did you get the money?" James asked, eyeing Sirius who was packing a black drawstring bag on his bed.

"Money… money…" Sirius shook his head. "I'm flat out broke, Remus, can I burrow a few galleons?"

"Galleons? Jesus, Sirius, I'm not a bloody goblin…"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well, we need money for this plan to work," James said, checking his wallet. "I have fourteen sickles, and a galleon…"

"I have a knut in my sock drawer…" Sirius said, hopping to his drawers.

"Is that what's in your sock drawer?" Peter asked. "I always wondered what you kept in there since your socks are always in the hamsters cage." It was because of Sirius' socks that there was no more hamster… poor Sirius is a god… we hardly knew ye. Yes, Sirius did name the hamster.

"Yeah… I keep _money_ in my sock drawer… sure…" Sirius said slowly, quickly snapping his sock drawer close.

James shook his head.

"The mysteries of Sirius' sock drawer…" James said mystically. "I've been trying to figure what's in them ever since I met Sirius… I doubt I'll ever find out… he charmed the drawer, you know that?" James added to Peter.

"He did? Oh! What happens when you try to open it?" Peter asked, his eyes open with curiosity of what Sirius uses for security. 

"Switches your voice with McGonagol, man, she was really pissed when she started to teach a class with my vocal chords." James sighed.

"That was pure brilliant." Remus stated, nodding his head. "And James, you started to flirt with Lily sounding like Mc…"

"I do not flirt with Lily!" James yelled.

"Come of it James, It's obvious that you like Lily, and she likes you…just get it over with and ask her to the ball…" Sirius said, searching their vacant fish tank for money.

James blushed.

"Here's some money for the plan…" James added, handing Sirius a sock. "Just shut-up about Lily, okay?"

Sirius grinned.

"You're either forcing us to black mail you, or bribing us with money… my dear old Moony, which one is it?" Sirius asked, sounding quite like a detective.

"I believe, Watson, that Mr. Potter would be committing the crime of bribery, a very serious offense." Remus answered, sharing the detective tone in his voice.

"I don't care, you need the money, so take it!" James cried.

Sirius shrugged.

"Okay. Hey James, think you could bribe us more often?"

"No, Sirius, No…"

"Oh Lily!" Sirius mock called over his shoulder.

"Would ten galleons cover it?" James asked, taking out his wallet.

"You know, I do believe it would." Sirius grinned.

~*~

"Now, Peter, if you step on my foot again, you won't have any more feet to be stepping on me with… got it?" Sirius growled from under the invisibility cloak.

"How threatening…" Remus said coolly, as he climbed under the cloak. "I'm starting to wonder how the cloak covers us all…" Remus added.

"Who cares as long as it does cover us all." Sirius added shortly.

"Where are you four going…"

"Bum Bum Buuuum! We're caught!" Sirius laughed.

"Is it Kat then?" Peter asked, lifting up the cloak, making one of his watery eyes visible. 

"Yes, it's me you big turnip… where are you going?"

"Hogsmead, to get ready for tomorrow night, care to join us?" Remus asked from under the cloak.

"Come out from that bloody cloak, I cant see you all…" Kat spat.

James pulled off the cloak, revealing the four boys, and six drawstring bags. 

"You coming with us?" Sirius repeated, taking a Snickers bar out of his bag.

"No, I have some work… what is that?" Kat asked in disgust, as Sirius started to unwrap the Snickers.

"Snicker bar… want one?" Sirius asked, mouth full of chocolate.

"Not really, No." Kat said shaking her head. "But are you sure there eatable?" 

"Quite." Sirius said, spraying some snickers on Remus. "Oh, Sorry Remus…" Sirius said, once he swallowed.

"Your forgiven…" Remus stated. "Well, Kat, if your not coming to Hogsmead with us, we have to go."

"Right, what are you guys doing anyway, or do I not want to know?" Kat asked, smiling slightly.

The four looked at each other.

"You don't want to know." The four said together, climbing under the invisibility cloak. 

"Right…" Kat said. "Your doing that sharing brain wave thing again, it's scary."

"Yeah, it probably is." Sirius stated from under the cloak. 

~*~

"Where should we go first?" James asked, as he carefully climbed into the cellar of Honeydukes.

Sirius grinned, as he shed the cloak from the four, looking around the cellar.

"Well, we'll be needing to talk to the Naughty Boys to let them agree, I'm not too sure they'll agree right on the spot so that's what the money's for: bribery. If that doesn't work, I'll be forced to curse them with jelly legs until they agree." Sirius said.

"Where are we going to get supplies for the actual plan?" Peter asked, tugging on his pant leg which was crawling up his leg. Bad pant leg.

"All over the place I suppose, we'll need a lot of gel and new boy band outfits." James answered. "Don't think we'll need anything from Honeydukes, so let's get out of here. Zonkos wont be too helpful either… what do you reckon Remus? You're here most, where should we go?"

Remus thought for a while.

"Well… if the Naughty Boys never agree to our plan, we wouldn't want to waste our money on clothes and gel that we will never use…"

"Except for Halloween!" James cried.

"All right, that we will never use except on Halloween." Remus agreed. "And if we get the Naughty Boys permission, they might even let us use some of their stuff."

"So what are you getting at? We ask the Naughty Boys first?"

Remus shrugged.

"It's but my opinion."

Sirius shook his head.

"Remus, you sound Shakespearean…" he told Remus.

"Shakespearean? My dear Sirius, to know that word you would have to know Shakespeare… have you heard of Shakespeare then?"

Sirius grinned, and nodded.

"Yeah! I love his music, really good beat."

Remus groaned.

"And I thought he might have proved his intelligence." 

~*~

"Don't worry, I have total in with them… Nick and I are practically fifth cousins twice removed! We're like this!" Sirius cried, showing his friends two crossed fingers.

"Okay, if you say so…" Peter shrugged. "You said they would be in the back rooms of Three broomsticks? How do we get there?"

James nodded.

"Yeah, Pete's got a point, the security must be really tight to protect them, and if the news got around that we wanted to replace them…"

"Did you almost forget who you're with?" Sirius interrupted. 

"What do _you_ have to do with getting us past Bailiff over there?" Remus asked, pointing to a large man who was guarding the door of the three broomsticks.

Sirius grabbed Remus' shoulder.

"Remus… who's the waitress of the three broomsticks during the night shift?"

"Most likely Rosmerta… but what the hell does that have to do with…"

"Remus, shut-up for a second. Rosmerta has an amazingly big crush in which she would do whatever the guy asked her within a heartbeat, but on who Remus, who?"

Remus grinned.

"She wouldn't."

Sirius returned his grin.

"Oh no? I'm not so sure. Even though that girl is three years older than I am, its obvious the girl worships me. I think I make a good God, don't you?"

"Stupendous." James said dryly. "All right, let's go visit Rosie, shall we?"

Rosmerta Lianhear was a young teenager who left Hogwarts a year early to work at her uncle's bar, the three broomsticks. While she was attending Hogwarts, she was one of Sirius' many fans. Picture this, she had a crush on him when he was a first year when she was a fourth year, think about how crazy she will be over Sirius now that he's a teenager with a body to end all bodies. Though Rosmerta's crush did become a little frightening at times, she was a really fun person, always smiling and laughing at the boys, being extremely impressed by the boys jokes. Every once and a while, Rosmerta would even join the four in one of there harmless pranks.

The marauders entered the three broomsticks as though it belonged to them, waving happily at people, and smiling broadly. It looked as though they were already filled up with drinks, but not exactly butterbeer. 

The four reached the bar, and sat on the red swirling chairs in front of the counter, waiting for Rosmerta. It had been awhile since they had seen her, perhaps last year, and they decided to see how long it would take her to notice there presence. 

"What would you be having then?" Came the voice of Rosmerta, wiping a glass with her apron.

"Um…" Peter said anxiously, looking at the menu on the wall. "Er… butterbeer, I suppose."

"Ug, it's too hot for Butterbeer, Pete," James protested, eyeing Rosmerta, happy to know she still hadn't recognized them. But then again, she hadn't looked up to meet their eyes yet.

"Could I have a bottle of apple cider please?" Remus asked politely.

Rosmerta looked up at Remus, his manners obviously surprising her.

"Please? Well, we are polite aren't we?"

Remus blushed, and nodded.

"His parents brought him up well." Sirius grinned. "Now, Rosie my girl, could I have a bottle of beer…"

"Beer?" Rosmerta asked, raising her eyebrows. Then something clicked. "Sirius?"

Sirius grinned, and spun his chair around. "Yup."

Rosmerta blushed as she smiled widely.

"And James, Remus and…" Rosmerta never was very friendly with Peter, and always forgot his name. "Patrick?"

Peter shook his head, sinking low in his chair.

"That's Peter." Remus answered for him, patting Peter on his back.

"Right…" Rosmerta answered politely. "How have you been? It's been ages, look at you guys, quite the hotties." Rosmerta added, winking at Sirius.

While the other three blushed, Sirius grinned.

"Aren't we though?" Sirius answered. "So having a good time here then?"

Rosmerta nodded smiling. 

"Oh yeah, tips are excellent, all I have to do is this," She flipped her brown dazzling hair, batting her large lashes. "And I got a galleon in my pocket." She grinned.

Sirius shrugged.

"Hey, it's good enough for me," Sirius said, stealing a galleon from James' wallet, and handing it towards her.

Rosmerta did a curtsy.

"Thank you." She stated proudly.

"You owe me a galleon." Sirius told Rosmerta.

"Oh no, you aint getting this one back."

"Want to bet?"

"Not really, no." Rosmerta answered, smiling. "So what brings you here? I believe the trip to Hogsmead isn't until tomorrow night…how did you even get here?"

James grinned.

"We have our ways."

"No doubts here. You guys want drinks then? Remus, apple cider of course, but what about you three?"

Sirius looked as though he had been waiting for that question for a year.

"Pint of beer, if you would."

James, Remus and Peter looked at Sirius, trying to see if it was possible to change his mind about that, or if he was in one of his rule breaking moods.

"You… sure, Si?" Peter asked quietly, calling Sirius Si as he always did when Sirius was about to do something wrong. 

Sirius grinned, and shrugged their nervousness off.

"Yeah, why not?"

"So, Sirius, have you finally hit the legal age to drink?" Rosmerta commented. "Or have you hit the legal age when you think you should be able to drink?"

Sirius considered his answer.

"Which answer would make you serve me the drink?"

"Neither." Rosmerta told him. "I'll go get you a soda…"

Soda, was in fact, a muggle drink that most wizards and witches weren't aware existed. Sirius (who's muggle born if you hadn't figured that out yet) came back from summer vacation one year with seven dozen bottles of coke and sold them at Hogwarts for far more than they were worth (we're speaking 20 galleons here.) Now, all the Hogwarts students were obsessed with any drink that fizzed, but also, all drinks that fizzed were banned from Hogwarts on the count of they made the students too hyped up for there own good, or so Filch says. So three Broomsticks found out that if they sold soda, they would get money from it, which they did. Doesn't soda have a fascinating background?

"Fine." Sirius huffed, looking a bit put out that he was denied the "privilege" to be drunk.   
"So, you never really answered my question, why are you guys here?"

The three looked at Sirius, obviously thinking it was his job to make up an excuse.

"Oh, well, my cousin is touring with the Naughty Boys, and we needed to talk to her before tomorrow." Sirius said. It was the truth, sort of.

Rosmerta raised her perfect eyebrows.

"What's so important that couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

Sirius frowned slightly. She was a curious one.

"Well, nothing's important, but we won't be able to talk to her tomorrow, our Hogsmead privileges have been taken away so we cant go with the school because Professor Bitch (McGonagol) might see us, and we cant talk to my cousin afterwards because she's leaving tomorrow."

Lie, complete lie, but by the time Rosmerta found out it was a lie, he would already have talked to Hazley, and have everything in order.

"Oh, okay." She obviously had no problems believing there Hogsmead privileges were taken away. "Well, who's your cousin then? Hazley or Wendy?" She added, handing Sirius a root beer. 

"Hazley. How did you know her name?" Sirius asked, taking a sip of the root beer.

Rosmerta grinned, as she piled whipped cream on Remus' apple cider. 

"Well, there are only two people who are touring with the Naughty Boys, the two girlfriends. I like Hazley, Sirius, she's very… energetic."

"It must be a Black family trait." James muttered, as the other two boys nodded.

Sirius shot a glare at his friends.

"So, can I talk to Hazley then?" Sirius asked.

"Sure, she's out back with her friend Wendy, she's a quiet one, Wendy is, I often forget she exists."

"Sounds like me." Sirius said, sounding dead serious. (A/N: shut up, I couldn't think of another word)

The male marauders paused, as did Rosmerta.

Then, as if there were a cue, they all exploded in laughter. 

"You can't be… serious!" James choked, as he slid from the spinning chair, joining Remus who was already sprawled on the floor, laughing like mad. 

"Then who can I be?" Sirius asked, annoyed how people always doubted his identification.

"No, no, he didn't mean it as a noun…" Remus said, trying to remain calm. "We know your Sirius…"

"No he's not!" Yelled Rosmerta, lifting her head off the bar. "He's not ever serious…"

"No, I'm meaning Sirius, not serious."

"Okay… but I'm always Sirius." Sirius told Remus. 

"No, Sirius, you really are never serious."

"I AM TOO SIRIUS!"

"Yeah," Peter said. "You're always serious!" He was trying to defend Sirius, pathetic.

"Are you serious?" James and Remus spat at Peter.

"No, he is." Rosmerta said, pointing to Sirius.

"Thank you for believing me Rosmerta, I am Sirius." 

"Sirius, you can't be serious!" Remus cried then hit his head. "We have serious problems."

"Since when I was a problem?" Sirius exclaimed. "I'm seriously hurt."

"Guys, seriously, let's stop!" James cried, stifling his laughter.

"We will once Sirius gets that he isn't Sirius."

"I am Sirius!" Sirius cried, and with a grin he added. "Seriously."

(I know, I already put a "Serious, Sirius" conversation in my story, but I think they would break out often.)

That just started the laughter all over again, and it didn't stop until an old woman asked Rosmerta if she was dying, 

"And if you aren't, I would like a scotch, please." The old lady finished. 

"Oh, right…" Rosmerta answered, straightening up. "Well, boys, I have to work. Great seeing you all, you look great!" 

"Not nearly as great as you." Sirius added, making Rosmerta blush a deep red matching her lipstick color.

Once Rosmerta was back to working, they decided it time to go visit a certain boy band about a certain plan.

~*~

"Sirius!" Hazley cried, jumping to the teenager, flinging her arms around him. "Why the hell are you here?" She asked, looking up at Sirius.

"I wanted to visit." Sirius grinned. "Can't I visit my older cousin with out being questioned for murder?"

Hazley smirked.

"No. I know you too well…" She answered. "Who are your friends?" Hazley asked curiously, eyeing Remus with an odd look resembling deep desire.

"Oh, well, you might know James… I stay with him most of the summer, and this is Peter," Sirius pointed to Peter, who was conveniently hiding behind a door. Hazley eyed Peter, who was gapping at Hazley.

"What you don't talk?" Hazley asked.

"No, he's mute." James said with a grin.

"Is he?" Hazley edged closer to Peter. "HI!" She cried loudly as if Peter was hard of hearing. "I'm Hazley!"

"He said mute, not deaf." Sirius reminded Hazley.

"I'm not mute!" Peter squeaked, then blushed, obviously surprised and scared of his own voice.

"And this is Moony." Sirius cried, motioning towards the werewolf. 

"Or in other words, Remus." Remus smiled, shaking Hazley's hand. "Nice to meet you Hazley." Remus added.

"Likewise." Hazley sighed, then shook herself, remembering her boyfriend who happened to be Nick Collins. 

"Now, who's this lovely lady who doesn't seem to know how to speak?" Sirius grinned, noticing Hazley's friend.

That lovely girl was Wendy Johnson, Hazley's best friend. She was many years younger than Hazley, as she was only fourteen, and Hazley eighteen. In fact, even though Hazley had graduated school already and could freely tour the country with her boyfriend and his band, Wendy still attended school, Hogwarts of all places, not a muggle school like Hazley. She was a fourth year Ravenclaw, who only was allowed to tour with her boyfriend now because she was top of her class and was home schooling on the tour, getting ready to come back once the tour was over. It also helped that Dumbledore was the most understanding headmaster Hogwarts would ever see. 

Wendy was blessed with simple features, looking plain but very beautiful. She had nice shoulder-length hazel brown hair, and deep brown eyes that were delicate and sweet. She had the face that could easily support the fact that she was quiet and a no-nonsense person. She was a little short for her age, maybe the height of a twelve-year-old, but other than that, she looked her age, not a day more nor a day less.

"I'm Wendy Johnson, and I am capable of speech, I just forget to show it sometimes." Wendy smiled sweetly, shaking Sirius' hand. 

"Me too! You don't know how many people think I'm too quiet for my own good!" Sirius lied happily. "I've seen you around, Wendy Johnson who is capable of speech, would you know where?" Sirius grinned.

Wendy looked at Sirius a bit unnerved.

"Hogwarts, I suppose." Wendy smiled politely. "I do go there you know, only a year higher than you." 

Sirius smiled, and it looked as though he almost blushed.

"Do you now? Hey, James, you seen her around?" Sirius asked.

"Well, yeah, Sirius. She's a keeper for the Ravenclaw, remember her? She ruled."

It was Wendy's turn to blush.

"I'm not that great, and besides, I had to quit if I wanted to tour." Wendy frowned. "Biggest mistake of my life."

Sirius cocked his head to the side and let his curiosity get the better of him.

"Why is that?"

"Oh nothing." Wendy smiled nervously. "I just should have known that school was more important than touring England with a stupid boy… I actually thought it would be special, I thought _I _was special… but obviously not special enough for Crammar Nickleson."

"Oh… er… obviously…" Sirius agreed, as he shot a quizzical look to Hazley.

"She and Crammar broke up last night." Hazley answered Sirius' look.

"Thanks for keeping that secret, Haze." Wendy said dryly, looking cross.

"No sweat." Hazley grinned. 

"That sucks…" Sirius said after a moment. "When are you going back to Hogwarts then?"

"Tomorrow night, after the band performs, I'm going back with Hogwarts… I can finally escape that bloody tour bus!"

"Did the bus smell? Because I read this article in a magazine, and it said that tour busses usually smell of pork rinds, but I was never sure if I should believe that or not." James asked curiously.

"It didn't smell like pork rinds as much as it did smelt of rotten toenails and molded cheese."

"Sounds like how Peter smells." Sirius grinned, causing laughter from everyone except Peter.

"WENDY! I FOUND YOUR TOOTHBRUSH!" Came the voice from the room next to them. A head popped out of the door, frowning.

"Who are they?" The head asked, eyeing the marauders.

"Nick, this is my cousin Sirius and his friends. They came to visit me." Hazley told the face, which was now a body as Nick stepped into the room.

"Actually… we came more to see Nick, and the band." Sirius corrected. 

"You came to see me?" Nick asked, putting his arm around Hazley's shoulder.

"Yeah, we would like to propose a deal to you." James answered, pushing up his glasses, which were sliding down his nose.

"A deal?" Hazley and Nick said together, sharing the same interested look.

"Yes, we would like to talk to you about tomorrow's performance, if you would." Remus added.

"Step into my office," Nick smirked, showing a door. "Oh, here's your toothbrush, Wend." He added, handing her a red plastic toothbrush.

"Thank you." Wendy said stiffly, turning around. "Nice meeting you, Sirius and such, see you tomorrow."

And with those words, she left the room, a pair of eyes following her steps.

~*~

"Are you bloody nuts?" Crammar Nickleson yelled, as soon as the marauders had explained their plan. "There is no way we are ever letting you do that…"

"I don't know." Nick interrupted. "It sounds funny, great for publicity."

"It could only be one song." Josh reminded his band members. "I don't see the harm in it."

"I DO!" Crammar yelled. "It would upset our fans… and it serves no purpose!"

"It does too!" Sirius cried, standing up from the chair he was placed in.

Crammar raised his eyebrows.

"Enlighten me."

Sirius shrugged.

"I don't know the purpose… but I can assure you there is one."

"The purpose is that we can prove to our friends that we can sing, you guys get money, and you escape from getting turned into a chinchilla, which we will do to you if you don't agree." James told them.

"We wouldn't really do that." Remus whispered to Josh, who was looking at James as though he was about to set ten lions on him.

"I don't know, I think we would be doing Crammar a favor if we turned him into a chinchilla, he would be cuter as a furry rodent instead of a slimy one."

"Who let this kid in here?" Crammar exploded, looking down at Sirius from his sunglasses.

"Kid?" Sirius twitched. 

"Well… how old are you? I'm sure it's not old enough to be insulting your superiors."

It was with that word that Remus knew this would end badly, with an injured band member or an injured marauder.

"Superior my a-"

"Look, all we want is a chance to have some fun…" Remus interrupted quickly, shooting a piercing look at Sirius.

"What's in it for us?" Craig, another one of the band, asked. "You said money, but how much money?"

"CRAIG!" Crammar cried. "We are not doing this…"

"Crammar, shut your mouth, would you?" Nick snapped. "It sounds like these kids… sorry, these guys really want to do this. It would be funny. Besides, Sirius is practically family to me." Nick added with a grin.

"We go way back." Sirius nodded, even though they actually only met that day. 

Crammar shot a look at Nick, and then to Sirius, and sighed.

"How much money do we get?"

The four smiled largely.

"Dump it, Peter." Sirius ordered. 

Peter dumped a large sock onto the table, revealing a stack of many, many golden coins.

"Cheese and Crackers!" Josh yelled at the top of his lungs. "That's a lot of coinage..." 

"How much is that?" Nick whispered, eyeing the gold.

"A lot." The four answered together, grinning.

"Come on guys!" Crammar cried. "We get just as much gold everyday just for looking good… we don't need to partner up with little attention deprived brats to get money!"

"Crammar shut up!" The remains of the band cried. 

"We'll do it." Josh answered, smiling.

"No… no we wont." Crammar snapped, shaking his head. "I really don't get why these infants would want to do this in the first place I m- oh, no wait, I get it. You're jealous. You know, really boys, just because we are more attractive than you now doesn't mean that with a little plastic surgery… you wouldn't look almost normal. Well, maybe not Peter over there, he's a lost cause, that fat tub of lard."

POW! (A/N: I feel like I'm writing a comic strip)

Before anybody could scream, kick, or call an ambulance, Crammar was unconscious on the floor, with a bloody nose, still pouring despite the fact that person the nose belonged to was knocked out on the floor.

Sirius looked down at the half dead boy band member, and then up to his friends and the rest of the Naughty Boys.

"Er… sorry bout that. Lost my temper a bit, didn't I?"

They all stared at him amazed.

"I said I was sorry!" Sirius replied to the silence.

"I wouldn't be." Remus answered coolly. "He deserved that."

Nick shook his head.

"Crammar's a jerk, the only reason he's in this band is because our fans love him to death. But he's a bastard that one."

"Control freak, it would seem." James stated. "I never did get along with control freaks… or goats." 

"Goats?" Josh raised his eyebrows.

"Hilda, his old girlfriend… don't ask." Sirius stated.

"I wouldn't be talking, Mr. Ferret lover." James shot back.

"Sirius! You dated Mrs. Ferret!" Remus cried. "But we decided she was mine! You were supposed to date the monkey…"

"No, I dated the monkey," Peter said.

"The monkey stood you up Peter, we all know it's true." Sirius grinned.

"She had to go out of the country for an important appointment, you knew that!"

"Okay, you guys are weird." Nick broke in, deciding he was freaked out. "But cool, so we'll take the money and let you go on with your plan."

Peter handed the money sock over to Nick, who looked slightly nauseated by the moisture of the sock, which belonged to Peter. He not only had odor issue with his feet, but sweating issues as well.

James grinned, and shook Nick's hand.

"Thank you Mr. Boy Band Guy, Sir." He cried. "This will be fun!"

"You know, you naughty boys aren't half bad." Sirius added, stepping over Crammar to make his exit.

~*~

"I feel different." Remus stated doubtfully, looking at himself in the mirror. "More… blonde."

"It comes out." Josh assured him. "Crammar uses the same exact stuff. You look good as a blonde, nice and moronic."

The Marauders were invited into the N.B's (Naughty Boy) bus where the Naughty Boys (X- Crammar, because he was still knocked out) were going to give the Marauders a new look… a new preppy look… a new BOY BAND LOOK! MWA HA HA!

Remus was N.B.'s first victim and was transformed into an idiot by the power of blonde hair dye. (Nothing against blondes, I love them to death, I swear.) Remus had troubles adjusting to the change, and wasn't convinced that it would come out in a quick shower, even if they already tested it twice on the Naughty Boys pet monkey.

"I feel weird!" Remus cried again, his eyes still glued to the mirror. "Can't Sirius be the blonde… not me."

In the wizarding world, popular boy bands always consisted of four different people. The criminal punk dude with an attitude, the preppy boy who was the lady charmer and had the latest fashions, the sweet and considerate one who still lived with his mother, and of course the blonde. 

The four all wanted to be the criminal punk dude, and started a mini war ending with Nick having the idea of picking out of a hat for roles. Peter, to his delight and a bit to his horror, picked out the criminal punk dude, resulting in a groaning Sirius and a ripped up hat.

Once they found a new hat, James had picked the preppy boy. In order to complete the role of the prep, James had to loose the glasses. James was _blind _without his glasses. 

"That's a problem we'll work with Sunday night." Sirius had said, once James reminded them of his 180/20 vision. "And it's not like I'll get hurt or anything, so it's nothing important." 

"Considerate, Sirius. You fit your role so well."

Sirius was to portray the sweet, considerate band member. Think about that, Sirius, sweet… considerate. And Remus is a blonde, what has the world come to?

"Peter, tomorrow night you can wear my baby…" Craig told him, stroking his leather jacket. "Be careful with it, don't rip it, don't sweat in it, don't scratch it, don't eat it…"

"Eat it?" Nick asked, raising his eyebrows.

Craig clutched his jacket protectively.

"I'm just making sure he knows the rules of wearing Craig's leather jacket."

"Talking in third person, very cool." Sirius noted.

"Is that wrong?" Craig asked hotly.

"Nah." Sirius shrugged. "Sirius does it all the time."

"Nick! Where did you put Wendy's toothbrush?!" Came Hazley's loud voice from outside.

"I gave it to her!" Nick yelled through the open window of the bus. 

"Hazley! Come and see Remus' new do!" Sirius cried out to her cousin.

"He's a blonde!" James added happily. "And I'm going to be blind!"

Hazley appeared in the doorway of the tour bus, wearing a suspicious look.

"Why?" She demanded.

"These guys here are the new boy band, it's part of their _plan._" Craig explained.

"Plan." Hazley repeated. 

"Yes, plan." The blonde werewolf responded. "And I do hope our plan involves getting back to Hogwarts by nine." He added, looking at his watch. 

"What time is it now?" Peter asked.

"Seven fifty two and thirty six seconds, no wait, thirty seven, thirty eight, forty…" Remus started, then looked up from his watch. "Good gym shorts, I skipped thirty nine… I'm becoming stupid."

"Well, then we better get back to Hogwarts to wash his hair before he starts saying two plus two equals seven."

"It isn't?" Sirius asked, grinning. "Damn, I must have blonde roots."

~*~

"Do I look preppy then?"

"And me? I look tough and rebellious, right Kat? Right?" 

It was a cold, but surprisingly sunny Sunday afternoon at the Hogwarts castle. The Marauders had taken the morning hostage to go and shop for the proper boy band equipment for the big night. For the last few hours, the marauders had there fun making each other look ridiculous for the amusement of Kat, who was forced to test out the boys looks, as she owed them one. Kat had foolishly screwed up the screwt plan, and somehow made the creatures vanish, not hide until breakfast as she claimed. It was a bit of a downer for the boys at first, but they all agreed the plan wasn't extreme brilliance, unlike the Naughty Boy plan, and life goes on, so hell, they should too. But it was nice to be able to guilt trip Kat into judging the marauders new looks. 

"I'm going to choose my words very carefully, and spare as many people's feelings as I can." Kat said slowly. "You all look like idiots."

"Well, that's what we're aiming for isn't it? Or, at least, I am." Remus said honestly.

"I can't see." James added proudly, as he stood in front of Kat, his glasses for once not laid his nose.

"Put on your glasses, then." Kat suggested. "You look freaky without them, and what did that awful band do to your hair?"

"They spiked it." Remus answered for James. "And James can't put on his glasses, he's the athletic, preppy one. Preps don't wear glasses."

"We just don't." James added sincerely, when Kat rolled her eyes.

"Where's Sirius then? Cant wait to see him preppy…"

"No, silly." Peter shook his head. "Sirius isn't the preppy one, he's the sweet, considerate one."

Kat snorted as she tried to stifle giggles, so she ended up making a sound much like a hedgehog when it tries to ward off predators.

"And I'm a criminal." Peter finished, smiling.

Kat just shook her head, and left the dorm before she blew up with laughter.

"Well, that settles it." Kat said, once out of the dorm. "I'm going tonight, I'm not missing you make a fool out of yourselves."

~*~

"Bloody hell! That's a lot of friggin candy!" Kat yelled, as she and the marauders stepped into Honeydukes. 

"Are you kidding me? This is practically empty compared to other days." Sirius said offhandedly, looking at some checkered cheese candy. "Don't eat this stuff, Rem." He added, lifting the bottle of cheese. "It says it gives werewolves gas."

"I'll remember that next time I have a craving for multicolored cheese." Remus answered dryly, taking the bottle from Sirius, and placing it back on the table where it belonged.

"Cheese! Yummy!" James cried, grabbing the cheese and stuffing it in his mouth. "God damn it, this stuff it soooooo good, here Pete, try some…"

"No, No, I'm allergic to c-" Peter tried to say, as James stuffed the checkered cheese candy in his mouth. His eyes opened wide as he swallowed the cheese.

"It's so… cheesy." Peter sighed. 

"Okay, not that it matters, but don't you have to pay for that stuff?" Kat asked, as Sirius loaded his pockets with Bertie Botts Every Flavored beans.

"Nah, we can charge it. Once we take the candy, and properly consume it, the candy tells the Honeydukes cash keeper how much candy we ate. The cash keeper keeps that amount on a piece of paper which they send to us later so we can pay the bill." James told Kat.

"Or in my case, so we can eat the bill, they use eatable paper you know." Sirius commented. 

"Actually, Sirius, all paper is eatable, Honeydukes just gives its stationary flavors." Remus told him, smelling the Homely Hot Chocolate bars on display.

"So… do I just take the candy I want?" Kat asked. "I mean, if I wanted this… er… jellybean," She took a jellybean from the bag Sirius was holding. "I could just eat it, with out getting decapitated or anything?"

The three nodded.

"But you can't eat _that_ jellybean." Sirius said, pointing at the brown bean placed in Kat's hand. 

"And the reasoning behind that rule is?" Kat asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Because it's mine, and I'm going to eat it."

Kat shook her head.

"That's a very sweet story." She told Sirius. "But a very sweet fictionally story." She finished, biting the jellybean into two. As soon as the bean touched one of her taste buds she spat the half on to the floor, backing away from the jellybean.

"That tastes more disgusting than Snape does!" Kat yelled, causing looks from her friends. 

"And how would you know how Snape tastes?" Remus asked Kat, looking disgusted.

"Is he a lollipop flavor?" Grinned James then gave a look of disgust as he figured out what Remus was getting at. "Ewwwww…"

"Ew is right, how could any jellybean taste as bad as Snape?" Peter asked.

"You know how Snape tastes?" Sirius cried, knocking over a display of Sugar Quills.

"No!" Peter yelled, blushing a very deep green. Yes, green. Don't ask, he's a freak of nature and blushes green. If I said he blushed red before, he doesn't, it's green I tell you! GREEN!!! 

"Look at this, these are my favorite." Remus said, taking a plastic bag from the counter. "Sour Steak Chews." Remus took a gummy candy out of the bag, and showed it to Kat. It was the ideal steak shape, but minimized, with the white part of the meat, and the red center coated with sour sugar. He squeezed the candy between his fingers, and then popped it in his mouth.

"Oh… they get better and better each time I eat them."

"Ew." Kat stated simply, shaking her head. "Candy Steak… Ew." She repeated.

"No, its really good, try some…" Remus argued, handing her a chewy steak.

"I'm sorry, but I'd rather eat Snapes underwear than those."

"Ag! Bad mental Images… bad mental images!" Sirius yelled, shielding his eyes.

"Oh, go transfigure yourself into a sprinkled donut." Kat spat.

~*~

"Sirius! Get over here!"

"Oh, come on! I was just having some fun with the owls; it's not like the fire _hurt _anyone."

"And the burning post office was just a minor set back?" Remus asked.

"Exactly, Moo Moo."

"Moo Moo?" Kat asked, raising her eyebrows. "Well, don't we feel intelligent?" 

"Shut-up, I get happy when I light things on fire."

James shook his head.

"Sirius, the pyro, we should've seen it coming."

"My Uncle Ted's a pyro… he lit his school on fire once. His school was an all girl one, he had to wear a plaid kilt. I think he enjoyed that."

"Really? How very fascinating," James said sarcastically.

"And weird." Peter pointed out.

"If you think Uncle Ted is weird, you don't even want to know about Uncle Ford… one word, Mother's clothing."

"First of all that's two words," Remus pointed out.

"And second of all, that's disturbing." Kat interrupted. "Sirius comes from a family of cross dressers and pyromaniacs." 

Sirius nodded.

"Yes I do, but believe me, that's definitely not the worst of it," Sirius sighed. "We have hippies, nudists, nudists who are hippies…"

"Stop right there, I don't want to know any more." James commanded, putting his hand over Sirius mouth.

"Wait, hold on… Sirius, I've never met any of your family besides Renee, you're always at James' house or mine over the summer, sometimes even Peter's, but we have never been to your house and met even your parents."

James took his hand off Sirius' mouth; realizing Remus' observation was nothing but the truth, and strange truth at that. 

"Hey, he's right!" James cried, pouting. "You're keeping us away from the rest of the Blacks."

"Well…" Sirius started defensively. "We've never met Kat's family…and you're not complaining about that."

"We've only known her five days, we've known you, my friend, for three years, actually James, you've known him since he was really young, haven't you?" Remus asked.

"Six, or something like that," James answered. "And I still haven't met his parents."

"They get busy, is that so hard to believe?" Sirius asked, fiddling with his robes.

"How many people are in your house?" Peter asked curiously.

"One, two if you count me."

"What about Renee? And your parents, there are two of them, aren't there?" 

Sirius' cheeks colored a bit.

"What's it to you if I have one or two parents? Or if my sister lives in the chicken coop across the street, it doesn't matter." Sirius snapped, hinting that this was not a topic to bring up.

"B-" Peter started, as Kat kicked him in the shin. "OW!"

Kat shook her head, clearly reading the uncomfortable look Sirius was secreting. 

"Come on, you guys should get ready for tonight, you want to impress people don't you?" Kat said, eyeing Sirius suspiciously.

Sirius smiled, and nodded.

"Yeah, we should, and Remus, we need to get you blonde again."

"Oh joy, it's my favorite thing in the world when my IQ drops to meet the intelligence of a slug."

"Actually, it might surprise you how smart slugs really are, I had two of them once, and they were quite genius, they could find their food easily and stuff like that, actually, Bean, one of the slugs, escaped from his aquarium once. Bean's really smart."

"I have an uncle named Bean, well actually his name is Prince Bean, he has a dingo farm… or is that my Uncle Dingo?" Sirius asked, rubbing his chin. (A/N: this is just an interesting tidbit, but all of Sirius uncles, aunts, third cousins, and regular cousins, I put in his family tree. There turned out to be 104 people on the tree, and each of them has strange little stories like Greg the human bottle, and Rainstick, the hippie who decided to be a nudist, quite fun.)

"Dingo and Prince Bean? They sound like circus performers." Kat pointed out.

"No, that's not Dingo or Prince Bean. But Aunt Esmerelda could count as a circus performer, she was a traveling gypsy."

"Fascinating."

~*~

"I am sweet, and considerate, sweet and considerate, sweet and considerate." Sirius repeated to himself, his eyes shut tightly.

"Good, good, you're getting it." Josh told him, smiling.

"Of course I'm getting it, I'm me, aren't I?" Sirius grinned.

"Well, yes, but that's the reason why we had our doubts that this whole sweet considerate thing was going to work out." Craig pointed out.

"None of these kids could ever be sweet." Crammar spat at Craig. Crammar still was a little…cold towards the marauders after being knocked out by one of them. 

"Kind of the way you could never be intelligent?" Sirius asked, grinning at himself in the mirror.

"No." Crammar answered coolly.

"Oh, bravo, amazing come back, no really, Oscar winning, I believe." Sirius said sarcastically.

"Who's Oscar?" Peter asked, scrunching up his nose.

"I think it's the guy who discovered the hot dog." James answered.

"Okay, another question, what's a hot dog?" Peter asked again.

"I am," Sirius grinned.

"Please, go jump off a bridge and land in a pile of cacti." Kat drawled, rolling her eyes. "Naked." Kat added. "Land in the cactus farm naked."

Sirius flinched.

"You hurt me Kathryne, you hurt me right here." Sirius said sarcastically as he placed his hand over his heart.

"And I'll hurt you in some other places if you call me Kathryne again, Black." 

"Remind me never to get on your bad side, Kat." Remus laughed.

"She only has a bad side," James joked, then covered his head in protection from the evil temper of an evil girl. "Please, oh mighty Kat, don't hurt me."

Kat shot an odd look at the others in the room, and shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, all right."

"Ug, damn it." Nick cried suddenly. "We're out of blonde dye…"

"So I'm not going to be blonde?" Remus asked hopefully, quickly standing up from the chair he previously sat on. Or you could put it, quickly standing up from the chair he was previously sitting on, it really doesn't matter, but it might just matter to that one blue M&M, so I had to write it both ways. Right, back to the blonde hair dye..(A/N: M&M's? What the fuck was I smoking?)

"No, no, you can still be blonde, I just need to get some more."

"He can't use mine." Crammar said evilly. "I wouldn't want my hair dye to be infested."

"I don't think it can get much more infested, Crammar," Craig told him. 

"Wendy has some blonde hair dye at her place, she used to do Crammar's hair before they broke up, I'll go get it." Nick told them.

"I told you not to talk about that wench in front of me," Crammar warned.

"Just because you broke up with Wendy doesn't mean we can't be her friend, mate." Josh pointed out. "Our lives don't revolve around you, no matter how much you may think it."

Crammar just shook his head and left the room, mumbling some rather rude words.

"I'll go get the dye, I don't mind," Sirius suggested, standing up from the couch. "I'm already set for the show, costume and all."

Nick nodded.

"Yeah, okay, I do need to do my hair and stuff. Got to look preppy for the ladies," Nick winked.

Sirius grinned, and left the bus, not having the slightest clue where Wendy was.

~*~

"HAZLEY!" Sirius cried, running to his cousin, completely out of breath. "W-w- no no, hold on, can't breathe." Sirius took a moment to catch his precious breath. "Right, anyway… where's Wendy?"

"She's in the three broomsticks talking with Rosmerta, why?"

"You are so nosy," Sirius stated,

"And you are noisy."

"What's that have to do with anything?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing, but nosy and noisy start with the same letter."

"Yippie," Sirius said in a monotone.

~*~

"Wendy!" Sirius cried, opening the doors to the three broomsticks. 

Wendy looked up at the sound of her name and saw Sirius.

"Oh, hello, Hazley's cousin." Wendy said.

"Hello Hazley's best friend, I have to ask you a question…"

Sirius let him self stare into the girls deep brown eyes, which looked surprised at that moment. Her eyes were so soft, so sweet, they looked as though they had there own personality, separate from Wendy. Sirius was always a big believer that eyes show you more about a person then any other thing in the world. Everyone he knew, whether it be Dumbledore, Kat, or even Snape, matched their eyes so well. Eyes could show mystery, kindness, spice, mischief, and personality in general. 

"Your eyes are brown," Sirius said mater of factly.

"Yeah, yeah they are." Wendy agreed. "And yours are blue… actually a quite lovely color blue."

Sirius grinned.

"They are, aren't they?"

Wendy laughed.

"Only when the person that they belong to isn't bragging about himself."

"Who would do that?" Sirius asked, acting innocent. "Only someone shallow."

"Shallow, yes." Wendy concluded. 

"Shallow, but incredibly handsome?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"I don't know about that," Wendy said teasingly.

"I do." Sirius replied.

"Do you now?"

Sirius nodded.

"I know everything, did you know that?"

"You know everything?" Wendy repeated doubtfully.

"Uh-huh."

"Then, what am I thinking?" 

"You're thinking, that I don't know what you're thinking."

"Are you sure?" Wendy tested, raising her eyebrows.

"No, no, you're more intelligent than use a stupid trick like that."

"So, what am I thinking?"

"You're thinking about Pears."

Wendy gave Sirius a stern look.

"All right, no, that one's out… you're thinking about… violins?"

"No, I find violins frightening, actually."

"You're thinking about, school?"

Wendy smiled.

"No, but I usually do, I really love Hogwarts, did you know that?"

"May I remind you I know everything."

"Everything but what I'm thinking."

"Oh, I know what you're thinking." Sirius assured her.

"Than why haven't you guessed?"

"I'm merely testing you… you're passing by the way."

"Excellent." Wendy said dryly.

"I know what you're really thinking… Clowns should be banished from the earth."

Wendy raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, was I close?"

"Not remotely."

"You were thinking about… pink fuzzy bears with cute button noses?"

Wendy shook her head again.

"Ah, I was just kidding."

"What am I thinking?" Wendy demanded.

"That, you'd wish that I'd go kill your X-boy friend?"

Wendy looked blankly at him.

"No, wait, that's what I was thinking." Sirius corrected himself.

Wendy laughed.

"It was very nice guess though, but you must face it, you don't know everything."

"Don't I?"

"Well, you don't know what I'm thinking."

"All right, one last guess."

"You'll never guess."

"Oh, but I will,"

"How do you know?" Wendy pressured.

"I know everything."

"You've already established that."

"But I haven't proved it," Sirius pointed out.

"Well, I don't believe you can," Wendy answered.

"All I have to do is guess what you're thinking, right?"

Wendy nodded.

"That's the way I'm seeing it."

Sirius grinned his charming smile, and his blue eyes twinkled with his personality.

"You're thinking," Sirius put on a high voice. "Oh, I hope that Sirius Black would just get over himself, and ask me to that stupid Hogwarts ball."

Before Wendy could shake her head, or burst out laughing, Sirius kissed the girl gently. Wendy tore herself away from him slowly, and smiled.

"You do know everything."

~*~

"You forgot the dye?" Nick cried. "How could you forget to get the blonde hair dye?"

"I got distracted." Sirius shrugged.

"I always knew you were brain dead." Kat said evilly.

"No, No, No," Sirius said happily, waving his finger in front of Kat's face. "You can't get my angry because I have a date." He said in a sing song voice.

The marauders would have gasped, but they weren't surprised.

James lay back on the sofa nonchalantly. 

"Oh, surprise. Sirius Black got a date. Never would have guessed."

"Now all we have to do is get James a date." Peter said happily.

"And I'm not blonde!" Remus cried.

"Wow, there really is such things as miracles." Kat said coldly. 

"Okay, don't you even care who my date is?" Sirius asked.

"No." Kat, James and Peter said at the same time.

Remus glared at the three.

"Tell us, who's the lucky ("unlucky, cough, unlucky") girl?"

Sirius sighed happily.

"Wendy."

It's a shame there's such a thing as a neck, otherwise Crammar's head would've blown right off his body.

"WHAT?" He yelled. "WHAT?"

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Wendy. I think you know her…"

"Yeah, I do… she's my girl."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is." Sirius said in a falsely reassuring way. 

Crammar shook his head.

"I'll deal with you later," he promised.

"I'll be waiting."

"Why?" Peter pressured. "Why would you wait for a guy who just threatened you?"

"Because I have nothing else to do," Sirius shrugged. "Besides, sweet, considerate people wait patiently."

"You're so sweet that you'll wait for Crammar to kill you, but you cant remember to get the blonde hair dye?" Nick asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Can't you just use a banana or something?" Sirius asked.

"A banana?" Josh asked, giving a look. "Now that's original."

"Bananas scare me," James admitted. "They're just too yellow."

"I've made banana bread for mothers day when I was six, it smelt really amazing, and probably tasted great as well, but my mom couldn't really taste it because the bread made her tongue swell the size of Ohio. Turns out my mum is allergic to bananas, she had to go to the hospital to prevent her self from inhaling her own tongue. I never liked bananas since." Remus told them.

"A banana gave me a rash once," Peter confessed.

"How wonderful." Kat said, checking her watch. "Oh, there's only an half an hour till you guys perform, you better get Remus blonde quickly. And Sirius, I want to meet this Wendy girl, see what's so special about her."

"Everything, she' s perfect." Sirius sighed. "Actually, her perfume smells like kiwi, and I'm allergic to kiwis. But other than how she smells, she's perfect."

"Aren't we the romantic one?" Kat said dryly. "Thank god you're not my boyfriend."

"You're right, I'm too good for you."

"And a few days ago you were melting into my lap… sad what one girl can do to you."

"I wasn't melting into your lap…"

"Sure you weren't Sirius…" Remus stated, smiling slyly, as Josh tried to smear bananas in his hair. "You were just…"

"Playfully flirting." Sirius grinned. "I do that with every girl, because I'm charmingly handsome. I can get away with it."

"No, you really cant." Kat said shrewdly.

Remus sniffed the air.

"Bananas? Well, dear me, my heads becoming a banana plant. I hope I don't lure Banana Slugs…"

"Yeah, Renee would get jealous, wouldn't she? Her own kind going after her man."

"Renee's a banana slug? Sirius, kindly tell me these things before I accept a date with a slug again."

"I knew the Blacks had to be some sort of… bug."

"Slugs aren't bugs." James reminded her. "They're actually-"

"Boring globs of blub that smell?" Sirius asked.

"Er… yeah." James admitted.

"Huh, kind of like Peter." Kat pointed out.

"Hey!" Peter cried. "I'm not a glob of blub that smells!"

"You're right." Sirius agreed. "You're a boring glob of blub that smells."

"I smell like bananas." Remus whimpered.

"Well, blame that on your friend." Craig grinned, poking for a fight between the two. "He did suggest it, and forgot to get you blonde hair-dye."

Remus looked up at Sirius.

"You want me to smell like odd fruit?"

"Bananas aren't odd." Kat commented.

"Are you sticking up for me?" Sirius asked, shocked.

"No, I'm sticking up from the bananas."

"Ah."

"Why stick up for those yellow things? They're pure pure…" Remus obviously couldn't find a word to describe the hatred he had towards bananas.

"Pure evil? Or is that putting it too lightly?" James asked.

"Too lightly, I believe."

"Well, it doesn't get much worse than evil."

"Bananas are worse than evil."

"Oh, yes." James agreed. "But the thing is…"

"You're all nuts?" Kat finished for them.

"They've all gone, wait for it…" Sirius grinned evilly. "They've all gone bananas."

"Well I certainly smell like bana-"

"We don't care." Kat and Sirius interrupted in unison.

"Yes, but _I_ do." Remus pointed out. "Bananas smell funny, and I don't believe that having my scalp smothered in rotten fruit will do much for my pores, or my health."

"Death by fruit. That will be an interesting one to read in the obituaries." James grinned. 

"Huh, that's odd." Said Nick, from the cupboard.

"What?" Josh asked, his latex-gloved hand massaging Remus' head with… gasp… bananas! (I'm getting really sick of that word.)

"Oh nothing, except… I found the blonde hair-dye."

~*~

"I have got to admit, that is a cool jacket." Sirius said in awe, staring at Craig's jacket, which at the moment was placed on Peter's body. The jacket fit Peter quite strangely. It plastered itself to Peter's body, the leather revealing his body to be not so fit. But at the same time, the jacket proved to be to big for the boy, as the coat reached far beyond Peter's knees. Peter looked ridiculous in leather, but Sirius couldn't help but think that he could, and most certainly would look amazingly amazing in that strip of cow. 

"It's cool enough," James agreed. "But, I don't know, it doesn't seem to work for Peter, does it?"

"It doesn't?" Peter said nervously, looking down at himself. "Maybe I should take it off or s-"

"Too late now, you're going on in five." Nick grinned. "You look fine."

"I'd look better," Sirius muttered to himself. He knew he was being egocentric, but he didn't care. He was amongst leather now, he had to act worthy! Actually, no, he just knew he'd look hot in leather.

"Back away from the leather, you can't have it." Josh reminded Sirius. "You have to be sweet and considerate. They don't wear leather, I would know." He said happily, smiling sheepishly.

"What about preps? What don't they wear?" James asked.

"I love how you talk about us as though we're a different species." Nick commented sarcastically.

"You are." Sirius and Kat muttered under their breaths. They looked at each other and grinned.

"I heard that," Nick warned. "Preps, who believe it or not are humans, wear anything, but glasses." Nick preached, as he took off James' glasses.

"Hey!" James protested. "I really can't see without those…"

Sirius jumped suddenly.

"There are only two days till my birthday!" 

James groaned.

"That means I only have two days to get a date… and I'm sightless at the moment. Life sucks."

"Damn, Two days left. Well, I better get looking for a guy, huh?" Kat grinned.

"How about you two go together." The blonde Remus suggested. It was a simple request, innocent as all suggestions from Remus were. But… it didn't go over well.

Kat and James looked at each other, or at least Kat looked at James and James looked at a plant that he thought was the girl. Either way, they both thought it was a ridiculous idea and showed so by exploding in laughter.

"Us?" Kat choked, between laughter.

"Go ou- " James tried to say, but he was too busy breaking his ribs.

"Yes, okay, bad idea." Remus agreed, shrugging.

James nodded, as he laughed some more.

"Yes, it is." He managed to say as he rolled on the floor in a fit of giggles. I know, most men don't giggle, but its James. Get used to it.

"I have a date, and you two don't," Sirius said in a sing song voice.

"Sirius," Josh start. "That was not sweet and considerate."

"Oh, put a banana in it." (Last time I mention that fruit, I swear.)

"Guys, five minutes until you go out. You're going to open for us." Nick started. "Now, what are you going to sing?"

"Sing?" James gasped, officially done with his giggles. "Woh, who said anything about singing?"

"You're supposed to be a new boy band. Boy bands sing," Craig told them. "Duh."

"I knew they were idiots." Crammar spat. "They can't even sing, and we're letting them open for us?"

Nick shrugged.

"We got money out of it, remember?"

"And they're cool. I'm sure they'll be able to sing…" Josh told them, smiling.

"I really don't think they can sing," Kat pointed out. "And you're cute," She added to Craig. "Am I allowed to ask you to the Hogwarts dance?"

"You can't take anyone out of school," Sirius said sourly. "I already asked."

"Damn," Kat muttered. 

"Why did Peter just ask Craig to the dance?" James asked, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

"What? I didn't!" Peter cried, blushing. (Yes, he still blushes green.)

"Sure you did, I saw you… right there, and you said: "Am I allowed to ask y-"

"That was me you blind bat." Kat spat.  
"Sirius?!" James asked, mistaking Kat for his best friend. "But you're already going with Wendy…"

"Kat. K-A-T asked Craig. Now put your bloody glasses on before you ask McGonagol to the ball instead of Lily or someone."

"No glasses." Nick told Kat. "He can't wear glasses."

Kat looked Nick straight in the eyes, and raised her eyebrow. 

"Are you telling me what to do, Preppy?"

Nick met her stare, and grinned.

"He can't be preppy while wearing his glasses. That's dorky, not preppy."

"Ever heard of sunglasses Einstein?" Kat retorted.

James eyes lit up.

"I can have my glasses back?" 

"Sunglasses aren't going to give James his sight back." 

"If they're prescribed sunglasses, they will. Why must boy bands be dimwits?"

"Because, we're so darn cute when we're stupid," Craig said, pulling his best 'I'm the cutest thing on the planet' look.

"No, you really aren't." Kat told him, smirking.

"Well I feel insulted, guys, that chick just insulted me!" Craig cried in mock horror.

"Get used to it."

Craig pouted.

"I don't wanna!"

Kat rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to get settles, get a drink and get a date. I'll see you guys after the show. Here, James, sunglasses, use them well Jimmy sunshine." Kat said, as she handed square, thick framed, purple-tinted glasses to James. He loved them.

"Wow!" James cried, simply in awe. " They are sooooooo cool. No, really! Look at them guys!" He showed them to his friends, who didn't seem to think much of the spectacles.

"Amazing," Remus breathed.

"Yeah, real great." Sirius said in monotones. "Now, what I want to know, is why Kat had those dorky glasses in the first place. Kat?"

Kat shrugged.

"I carry weird things in my purse."

And with that she left the marauders and the boy band to prepare for their night.

~*~

"You mind if I sit down?" Kat asked Renee, as she walked toward the table, swinging her purse around her arm happily.

"Kat, why are you here? I thought you didn't like the Naughty Boys." 

"I don't, I'm here on marauders business, mind if I sit?" Kat repeated.

Renee shook her head, moving over so Kat could sit next to her on the wooden bench.

"Morgan and Lily are getting drinks, they'll be back in a moment… where are the boys?"

Kat knew Renee was referring to the marauders, and shrugged.

"Who knows where they are, probably putting out that owl fire that Sirius started." Kat responded casually.

"Owl fire? Again?" Renee asked disgusted. "Why must my brother be an idiot?"

"Well, it seems to run in the family, doesn't it? Sirius told me about your nudist uncle, and your Dingo farm… idiotic things, wouldn't you think?"

Renee's blue eyes became alert.

"Sirius told you about our family?" She asked, trying to be casual.

"Hardly," Kat said slowly. "But why are you hid-" Kat shook her head. "No, never mind, I don't care. It's just suspicious, you know. Both you and Sirius never talk about your parents… weird, huh?"

"We have our reasons. Besides, why do you want to know about our parents in the first place?"

"I don't." Kat spoke shortly. "Let's drop it, hmm?"

"Drop what?" Morgan asked happily, as she walked to the table, hands full with pints of butterbeer. "Oh, hi, Kat. Didn't think I would see you here."

"Me neither," Kat sighed. "But I'm here, and you're seeing me."

"Want some butterbeer?" Lily asked, handing her a mug. "We got an extra pint for Adam, but he's run off to save some innocent owls, or something. I don't know what that was all about."

"I never say no to a pint, even if it is a non-alcoholic pint. Sure," Kat answered, accepting the butterbeer. "And you don't want to know about the owls."

"Right," Morgan agreed, sitting next to Kat. "Ren, when's this bloody show going to start?"

"Five minutes, I believe. I'm a bit excited to tell the truth,"

"A _bit_ excited?!" Lily asked astonished. "It's the most exhilarating thing that's happened to us all year!"

"Yippee." Kat commented in her usual dry tone.

Morgan laughed, and took out a piece of paper from her pocket.

"All right, Kat. If you're going to watch the Naughty Boys perform, you'll have to watch properly with all the proper knowledge. These, are the Naughty Boys." She pointed at the paper, which showed four cheesy boys giving off equally cheesy smiles.

"Yes, that is them, isn't it? Quite a good picture of Crammar, huh? I like how the light bounces off his banana blonde hair. Josh doesn't look to sweet in that picture though, let alone considerate… Nick looks too, dark for prep, and Craig… is just hot. Not."

Morgan blinked.

"Right. So you know the Naughty Boys then?"

Kat grinned.

"Know them, yes. Met them, yes. Tolerate them, no."

"Met th- Met th- Met- would you care to repeat that?" Lily asked, leaning towards Kat in astonishment.

"No, not really. All I have to say is Crammar's a jerk, Craig has a romantic relationship going with an article of clothing, Josh is a cheese puff, and Nick is… actually bearable."

Morgan slumped back into her chair, and took a sip of her butterbeer.

"I don't believe it. That's not bloody fair. You don't even appreciate the Naughty Boys, and you've met them, and I'm there number one-"

She was interrupted by the prodding coughs of Lily and Renee.

"Okay, I'm there number three fan, and I haven't even seen them in person to date, let alone met them. I don't like you, Kat."

"And I don't like you." Kat assured her. "But to be fair, I don't like anyone."

"Anyone but Sirius." Morgan finished for her, smirking a demonic smile.

"Not really no." Kat answered, taking a quiet sip from her mug. She furrowed her Slytherin brow as she processed her thoughts a bit, and then placed the mug down with a thump.

"Wait, you didn't mean that as… you weren't hinting that I… rate Black, were you?"

Morgan laughed.

"It's a well known fact, isn't it?"

That's when Kat snorted butterbeer out via her nose.

"You mustn't say such crap when I'm drinking, it could only end in despair."

"So it's not true then?" Renee asked in surprise. "You don't like my brother?"

"Why does it bloody matter?" Kat wailed, letting her shock and anger mix to make a psychotic boom. "Oh my god, I like Sirius, or Oh my god, I don't like Sirius. There's only a one word difference, and you act as though it means the world."

Morgan rolled her eyes.

"We were just wondering because we're Sirius' friend, and we thought we were your friend too."

Kat sighed.

"Look, I've already explained, I don't like anyone in this bloody world. And I don't make exceptions for my friends."

Morgan laughed.

"You don't make sense, Kat, you just don't make sense."

"But then again, who really does?" Lily asked logically.

"Me." Kat and Morgan said together. They shot each other a stinging glance as the others laughed.

"Excuse me, do you know the time?"

The four friends looked up to see a girl around there age, with the genetic traits (I had to through a scientific saying in this story, it makes me feel cool) of brown hair and brown eyes, which were full of curiosity.

"Why? Are you anxious about the Naughty Boys performance? Oh they're so amazing." Kat said sarcastically.

"What? Oh, no, not really. I'm not a fan of the Naughty Boys." The girl answered wistfully. "You could call me a former fan, I suppose."

"Now this is a girl I like," Kat stated happily. "Pull up a chair, we can bash the band together. It'll be fun."

The girl looked at Kat surprised.

"All right, I suppose…" She smiled, as she took the seat next to Renee.

"Oh no," Lily laughed. "Not another N.B. hater! I'm not sure if I can handle all the negative waves."

The girl gave a week smile.

"Well, everyone's entitled to their own opinion."

"Even if it is a bad one." Kat interrupted. 

"Like yours?" Morgan asked.

"No, not like mine you mutant bagel, like yours."

"A bagel? Kat, did you just call me a bagel?"

"No, she called you a mutant bagel," The girl corrected.

"Exactly…er… right, what's your name then?" Kat asked, taking another sip of the beer de butter. 

"Wendy Johnson."

Out came the butterbeer that was previously in Kat's mouth.

"No? The same Wendy that's going to the ball with Sirius?"

Wendy gave Kat a quizzical look.

"Yes, you know him?"

Kat raised her eyebrows.

"I'm his old girlfriend." She flat out lied. The other girls looked at Kat as if she was nuts, but Kat just gave them a warning look and turned to smile at Wendy.

"Oh, is that so?" Wendy asked politely. "How nice."

"Yes. I hope you have better luck with him then I did."

Wendy furrowed her brow.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked simply.

"Oh, it's nothing really dear. He's sweety, really. But Sirius has a bad temper, and sometimes can loose control." Kat said solemnly. 

"How so?" Wendy didn't want to seem too curious, but she would simply curl up in a grave and die if she didn't know the details.

"Oh, well… I'm not really one to say, but he," Kat grinned. "But every now and then, and don't think this was a frequent occurrence or anything, but he does throw random objects, kicks quite a bit of furniture, and sometimes he actually became abusive to me. But not all the time of course, some times he could be quite enjoyable."

"Certainly not enough to make up for when he hits you." Wendy said, looks concerned.

"Oh, I didn't say anything about hitting me, he bites." It was with that where Renee broke out into a mad fit of giggles that she had to disguise them as the hiccups.

"Bites?"

"Yes. But who knows if he'll do that with you, he seemed to like you lots."

Lily smiled, and added for Kat's sake:

"Yes, but Sirius did seem in love when he first met you."

Kat grinned at Lily quickly, then changed the look to a sad, recalling look.

"Yes," she agreed. "Men will surprise you."

"Obviously so," Wendy said softly. "Maybe I should talk to Sirius before we go to the ball, hmm?"

Kat looked horrified.

"Oh no! I could never let myself become in between what could be an amazing case of true love." Kat put her hands over her heart and sighed heavily. "Something I could never have now."

"Oh come on," Morgan said happily. "The doctor said the brain damage may go away in a few years."

"But that was some nasty accident," Lily added. "Even if Kat leaves this ordeal without physical scars, she might have mental scars."

Wendy looked at Kat frightened.

"Um, accident? Brain damage? What happened?" She asked, her voice squeaking with fear she was trying to conceal.

"Oh, I really shouldn't tell you dear." Kat said seriously. "You could never be in a real relationship with Sirius knowing what he's done to me. I wouldn't want to jeopardize your love life."

Wendy nodded in a glazed sort of way, and muttered,

"Of course."

With that she left, not even knowing the time.

Kat turned to the four, and let out a good hard laugh.

"Oh my god, she believed me!"

Morgan shook her head.

"You're going to get it from Sirius."

"Oh as if you didn't help me, that brain damage idea wasn't far from brilliant."

Morgan stood up and curtsied. 

"Thank you, Thank you."

"What possessed you to do that, Kat?" Renee asked, voice almost showing awe.

Kat grinned, and stated simply,

"To get Sirius mad, what else?"

"You go to drastic measures to get that Sirius angry, eh, Kat?"

"I do what I can," Kat sighed, her eyes showing pride.

"That's quite sick, you know." Renee stated. "I'm his sister, and I don't even hate him that much. God, Slytherin's are weird."

"Thank you, I will take that as a complement on your safeties behalf."

"You're so kind." Renee said dryly.

"No, I'm really not."

Morgan shook her head, smiling, and grabbed Lily's wrist, to check her paisley watch.

"A minute or so till they go on." Morgan stated, once she read the time.

"You know," Lily started, tearing her arm away from Morgan's possession. "That you could just ask me for the time instead of taking my arm hostage. It gets quite annoying after a while."

Morgan shrugged.

"I don't have a watch, and I don't like to ask people for things."

"That's ridiculous." Lily laughed. "It's the time, no one cares if you ask for the time."

Morgan looked uncertain.

Lily laughed, and took off her watch, and handed the appliance to Morgan.

"There. Happy Birthday, Christmas, whatever. Now you'll know the time."

Morgan shook her head.

"I don't want your watch. I don't like paisley. Especially if the pattern is on watches."

Renee scrunched up her nose.

"You are so bazaar, I just hope you realize that."

"Did you know," Kat drawled. "That no one really cares about anything any of you have to say? And do you know why? Because you're dull."

"Well, at least we don't have insulting spasms every now and again. That's a bit worse, isn't it?" Morgan asked, twirling the straw placed in her butterbeer.

"I suppose," Kat grinned. "I will tell you though, that I'm getting treatment for my little spasms."

"But Kat, without your inspiring spasms, you will be, dare I say it, normal!" With that, Morgan added a melodramatic gasp, and a fainting motion.

"Doubt it." Renee added coolly. "None of my brother's friends could be normal…"

"Maybe she wouldn't be Sirius' friend once Kat transformed into another face in the crowd." Lily pointed out.

"Well, in that case," Morgan began. "You better stop your treatments, Kat. You wouldn't want to damage your _relationship_ with Sirius."

"Go boil yourself in tomato soup." Kat spat sourly. 

Before Morgan could retort, the lights in the room faded, and a voice was heard from above.

"Welcome all! Welcome to the Three Broomsticks!"

The audience, (or customers, what ever you feel fit) realized this voice was in fact the introduction to the Naughty Boys performance, and went wild with excitement, clapping and screaming. 

"It's starting, It's starting," Lily exclaimed, in a sing song voice.

"Do you think?" Kat muttered, rolling her gray eyes.

"As you all know, The Three Broomsticks has some very special guests tonight, performing for us. They're hip, they're handsome, they're talented… they're everything you could ever hope to be! They're… THE NAUGHTY BOYS!"

And came screams galore, to say the least. I will not describe the volume of the screaming, because it's simply not possible for a brain to even read about such a loud sound without going either extremely insane, or extremely deaf. There is just no way. All you need to know is, there were loud, _loud_ screams.

But one scream was out of place, didn't quite fit in with the other screams of excitement, and pleasure. Perhaps this was so because, unlike the others, this scream had a purpose. This scream, was the sound of pain, and fear. The sound of murder.

*silence* well? Well? Did I surprise you? Are you in suspense? No? No takers? All right then, that gives me time to add a shameful little plug for my new story, called… er… actually it doesn't have an official title to date, but it will when it's posted. And when this chapter is posted, the new story will be posted. Lalala, I'm confuzzeling. Just go check out my other works, Ok? Okay. With check out I do not mean… check out. I don't want you using _any_ pick up lines with my story, understood? They belong to me, and I don't lend them to anyone for proms. With out a price. Yes, yes, new chapter won't be for a while… but it will be here eventually. I hope. Go read other stories… but before you do that review. I don't want to bring out my pink cow.


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